Is your mind dirty? The importance of mental hygiene

Definition: Mental hygiene is the long-term practice of psychological self-protection against the impact of malevolent internal and external influences.

Most people come to me to get ‘clean’.

They may not be able to exactly put their finger on it, but they can feel something damaging their mental well-being. It may be internal, but quite often there is something in their environment which is polluting the way they see the world, themselves, and their future.

The Yellow Brick Road of Wellness

Now most of us start off here.

We eat (relatively) healthily. We practice a bit of relaxation cum mindfulness cum gratitude. We walk the dog/get off the bus a few stops early. We talk about personal development. We sign up to ‘how to be an authentic human being’ away-days. We do regularish, internal checks to ensure we are one of the ‘nice people’. We generally go around feeling a smidge smug knowing that we’re doing ok, thank you very much.

We build careers, families, and mortgages.

I have no axe to grind with this.?

Ding Dong!

Then, the sun is hidden behind a cloud. Suddenly, the wind is whipping up and we need to batten down the hatches.

It could be something significantly rupturing: death, divorce, disability, destitution, downward slide.

Or it could be an increasing disquiet. A feeling that something isn’t quite right. A feeling that something is growing in the dark. A feeling that something wants to knock us off our feet.

The Ruby Slippers

Destabilised, we start to scrabble about in panic, in pain, searching for some meaning, some way of putting everything back into order, some way to shut out our newly voiced emotional reality which has started screaming from the depths of our dreams.

All too quickly, those manifesting affirmations just don’t seem to be doing the trick.

We are flapping around, cut loose by the whirlwind.

So, where do we go?

Yeah, to the ‘tinernet. Home of all that is value-based, motivated for the greater good, and is there to serve with your best of intentions at heart.

We hit Google. Looking for companionship. Looking for comfort. Looking for connection. Looking for some bloody clue.

And BOOM, answers come a plenty.

Money. Sex. Freedom.

Power Potential Porn

Follow me to the Emerald City!

You, too, can have a Birken bag to match your chihuahua.?Live in a white-as-white-can-be mansion with an infinity pool to nowhere. Drive a Bugatti. Fly on a jet. Jet on a ski. Ski on the fly. Drink champagne at the place to be. Be the place to be to drink champagne. Have a PA/VA/VD. Be Blessed. Be Best. Be Bond.

Yes, you can become all of this and all you need to do is sign up to my course. A snap at 2K. But hurry, it’s only available for a very short time, for those who are ready, for those who really want it, for those who are committed, for those who are go-getters, change-makers, influencers-affluencers, only for Masters/Mistresses of Their Destiny. For those who know that they are more.

Man, I just about sold to myself. What happened there?

I ask myself:

How did my mind which is relatively rational, suddenly begin to fantasise that I was some rock-star, superhero, uber-rich.

Even more bizarrely, why did I suddenly have this strong craving for a lifestyle I didn’t even want?

Desiring values I don’t even have?

How did those few words seem more real to me than me?

The Great and Powerful Oz

For those who have seen The Wizard of Oz, I’m sure you are joining the dots: smoke and mirrors my friends. 'Tis all smoke and mirrors.

I want you to grasp how vulnerable you are to having your mind taken over. It happens every day and you probably don’t even realise. You probably think you are a smart observer, yet the true magic slips under your radar. It's so clever in its messaging, you probably congratulate yourself thinking 'this is doing me good'.?

Being aware is the first step to washing your own brain.

Introducing?Marketing Art a la Cult or The Funnel as practised by The Moonies, Waco, Charles Manson, Shoko Asahara, and a load of other lovely folks.?

But, they are totally different things, Dr. Anne! Ha! Read on, you ain't in Kansas now Dorothy.?

There are 5 steps:

1. Attract the open of mind (and wallet)

Sorry to burst your bubble, but those that get caught up in cults aren’t stupid, they just want to be told the answers to life and feel like they belong to something. They want a solution to becoming their idealised self. Who doesn't, yeah?

Marketing calls it ‘finding your tribe’.

2. Give them free stuff

For the cult, it’s folk to help you move house, study, generally be a lovely listening ear. They actively have recruiters trained to do this.

Marketing calls it ‘a lead generator and a clarity call’?(Sales Team Leader: Get their email! Get them on the phone!)

3. Get them in a group

The cult knows that nothing traps someone more than the power of the group. Whether it is a friendship circle or a study group or a get in touch with your authentic self network; nothing, but nothing has more power than a whole load of others smiling, nodding, and acting deferentially to the leader. If they all like it, there must be something in it yeah?

Marketing calls it ‘a group live/masterclass’4

4. Introduce the Master

Cult leaders are charismatic. For some unfathomable reason, they seem to ooze loyalty pheromones. They are natural salesmen, which should give you pause to ponder. The examples of perfectly sane human beings doing stupid, abhorrent, or downright horrendous acts are too many to mention. These leaders tend to spout nonsensical truisms about how to be a good person, mixed up mumbo jumbo on semi-religious jibberish, often involving magical thinking and occasionally aliens. Most importantly, they get to do what they want, how they want, when they want, and no-one can question them.

Marketing calls it ‘the aspirational founder’

5. Make it hard to leave

Cults do not like anyone leaving. They will make sure you are separated from your loved ones, your normality and generally will make sure the only voice you will hear is their approved doctrine. Basically, along the lines of ‘we are special people, chosen for a greater purpose, and we will submit completely to the leader and group’. (Even if that means sexual abuse, murder, or mass suicide)

Marketing calls it ‘a last desperate bombardment of emails, calls and generally offering you a discount on everything to stay’. This is often backed up by your lovely aspirational leader making it terrifyingly clear what will happen should you break ranks and attempt to leave. That’s when you know for certain they really have flipped their lid.

No place like home

Now let’s get it straight, I have zero problem with marketing per se. I know some excellent, honourable marketing experts who have great values and great services (happy to pass on their names). And hey, I'd be a total hypocrite if I didn't acknowledge this is me marketing myself. Otherwise, what would be the point of me writing this, just for your entertainment? No, of course not. I'm doing it to begin a potential business relationship with you. I'm writing to make you aware that I'm here, to let you get to know me and, with time, hopefully start to feel more comfortable with my services.

But I do have some fundamental differences: I don’t care if you follow me or not. I don't want to be a charismatic leader of anything. I certainly do not want unfailing loyalty. If you want to disagree with me, cool. If you want to leave, have a great onward journey.?

My mission is to help you learn to help yourself, not to be seen as ‘special’.?

And if a day comes that that changes, that is the day I need to shut my keyboard/clinic and take up knitting or baking or, I don’t know, contemplating my navel.

Because that is the moment, I’m in for myself. That is the moment I’m no longer bothered about your change, but just checking my bottom line. That is the moment I am cynically posting ‘aspirational lifestyle photos’ which you have paid for. That is when you have ceased to be warm-blooded humans and have become mere ‘churn numbers’. That is when my service is no longer service, but a money-making machine.

That is when I cease being a therapist and become?the Wicked Witch.

Scarecrow, Tinman, and Lion

So, what is mental hygiene anyway?

Mental hygiene is the central component of all mental well-being practices.

It is the foundation for mental wellness. Without it, you are merely going through the world sleep-walking, open to psychological manipulation and abuse.

Mental hygiene is about being ready with the metaphorical mind-soap, whether you need to clean your internal self-talk or scrub away some external influence.

Mental hygiene is accepting that some folks do not have your best interests at heart and that they are actively taking advantage of you with the same techniques reported as far back as 1957.

Mental hygiene is the commitment to continually monitoring your alignment with those individuals and groups you regularly come into contact with, because your mental space is your highest value property.

Mental hygiene is about asking critical questions, being wary of those who deny your right to independent thought,?and never, ever turning your analytical-self off.

Mental hygiene is knowing who you fundamentally are and using that self-knowledge to guide you. Not unquestioningly believing some slick lifestyle guru, who claims to have all the answers, but is really just working you, with an eye to sending you to their glossy onboarding system which has been designed to ‘hook and fleece you’.?Remember there are wonderful professionals out there whose services are not ego-driven. You can find them.

Ultimately, mental hygiene is about having the smarts,?values, and bravery?to trust yourself to?know the difference between truth and illusion. It might not seem easy, even perhaps a bit scary to be that independent, but if you are still reading, good news, you've already begun the process of psychological cleansing.

Other reading:

Biderman, A (1957) Communist attempts to elicit false confessions from Air Force Prisoners of War.?Bull N Y Acad Med.?

Dr Anne is the Founder of My Freedom To Thrive. She is a Chartered Psychologist and Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society (N.664572).?

She is also a?member of the BPS Division of Health Psychology and Occupational Psychology and is a trained Clinical Hypnotherapist.?

She has been working in psychological wellbeing for over 30 years and acknowledges she is a bit of a geek about it.

My Freedom To Thrive is committed to helping professionals reclaim their professional and personal lives by supporting them during their career journey.

We have developed a range of programs to nurture your resilience and help you learn how to prioritise your well-being. We focus on helping you take control of your wellness by following simple, everyday steps.

Following our specially designed RAISE pathway program, you can dig deep into a single well-being theme or mix and match. The choice is yours.

We believe that when you have access to the right resources and the right support, then you can achieve professional health and happiness. My Freedom To Thrive is committed to turning back the tide of workplace burn-out and personal life dissatisfaction. We would like to invite you to join us on our mission.