Your Map To Margin
Jesus made a powerful statement in Matthew 5:37 when he stated that people should let their “yes” be “yes” and their “no” be “no.” It was a common practice among the Jews of Jesus’ day to make promises based on objects of the earth and not on the name of God. They did this primarily as a way out just in case they broke their oaths. They believed it wasn’t a matter of judgment as long as the promise wasn’t made in His name. It is still tempting for the leader to just respond by saying “yes” to everything even when we have no intention of following through.
But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one. Matthew 5:37
However, the most significant component of the Matthew principle is in the fact of letting our “no” be “no.” Christian leaders should be masters at the art of the “no.” In fact, learning what to say no to might be our most significant kingdom work.
Christian scholar William Barclay wrote extensively about this principle. His words are helpful for Christian CEOs and business owners. He writes, “The Jews divided oaths into two classes, those which were absolutely binding and those which were not. Any oath which contained the name of God was absolutely binding; any oath which succeeded in evading the name of God was held not to be binding. The result was that if a man swore by the name of God in any form, he would rigidly keep that oath; but if he swore by heaven, or by earth, or by Jerusalem, or by his head, he felt quite free to break that oath. The result was that evasion had been brought to a fine art...Here is a great eternal truth. Life cannot be divided into compartments in some of which God is involved and in others of which he is not involved; there cannot be one kind of language in the Church and another kind of language in the shipyard or the factory or the office; there cannot be one kind of standard of conduct in the Church and another kind of standard in the business world. The fact is that God does not need to be invited into certain departments of life, and kept out of others. He is everywhere, all through life and every activity of life.
Your Ability To Say No Assessment:
- I often feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and burned out. Yes. No
- I don’t like to say no to my team. Yes No
- I participate in more than 2 outside organizations in my community. Yes No
- I often get distracted because I do not know what I should be working on. Yes No
- I feel guilty when I have to tell someone no. Yes No
- I often respond with yes when others ask me for something even though I know that I will not be able to accomplish what they are asking for me to do. Yes No
- I have difficulty setting healthy boundaries in many areas of my life. Yes No
- I can’t remember the last time I told someone no. Yes No
- I have trouble following through on things because I am overcommitted. Yes No
- I have regret because I feel like I am saying yes to the wrong things. Yes No
Count your Yes statements. If you had less than 3 yes statements, you are a “no” master. If you had between 4 and 6 you are in the burn out zone. If you had more than 7 “yes” statements you are truly a “yes” man.
Learning to say “no” as a leader is a critical skill for success. “No's” empower the leader to stay focused, reduce clutter, and bring clarity to the organization and to the life of the leader.
Follow these 5 principles in saying “No.”
1. Say “No” With Grace.
Every leader should be honored with others ask for our help. The very act of asking shows respect and confidence in the leader’s ability. When a leader must say “no” they should do with grace. Grace can come in terms of encouraging a better replacement or simply in thanking the person that asked for your help but explaining why you are not able to help at this moment.
2. Say “No” but then explain the bigger “Yes.”
When a leader repeats their top priorities it creates accountability and conviction. Explaining the larger “yes” in your life will cement the need for you to complete your most important tasks.
3. Say “No” without regret.
As a business leader, you have a tremendous task of building your business for success and significance. Your most important work is to honor God with and through your business. This task is enough in itself. Solomon spent seven years building the temple when he was focused to bring it to completion. Others task are important, but what God has given you is essential to complete. Don’t regret the “no’s” that lead you to focus on completing the task that God has given to you.
4. Say “No” To a “Yes.”
When you do say “yes” to something new in your life or your leadership, decide that you will say “no” to something that you are already involved in doing. This principle will ensure that you are not just needlessly adding to your list, but rather are replacing your already “yes’s” with a new “no.”
5. Say “No” using time blocks.
One way that enables leaders to say “no” is by scheduling time for their “yes” list. When a calendar is full, the leader must stop saying yes. Use your calendar and your time wisely. Your calendar should be a tool to help you say no.
For other ways of saying no, review the Harvard Business Review Article, “Nine Practices to Help You Say No” by Peter Bregman.
Saying “no” is hard work. Leaders and business owners are often wired with a “yes” gene. We believe in the “yes” in our life. We say “yes” we can build this business or accomplish some yet unseen task. However, the secret to our success and the empowerment of accomplishing a great kingdom impact might just come from the ability to master the “no.” Former Prime Minister of Great Britain Tony Blair summarized it this way, “The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Ken Gosnell is CEO and Servant Leader of CXP (CEO Experience). He serves leaders by helping them to have great experiences that both transform them and their organizations that enable to go further faster. He has worked with hundreds of CEOS and their leadership teams to enhance their strategic, operational and people accomplishments. He is an author, coach, and strategic partner with CEOs. He is married to Shonda, and they have four children. You can connect with him at https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/kengosnell/
He has also created the CEO Experience Impact Assessment. This assessment helps leaders learn the areas of their leader that they must improve to go forward. Get your score by taking the assessment here.