Your love life is not your career. Stop working so hard at it.

Does the need or desire to settle down require you to settle?

If you don’t want to settle, does this mean you should “work harder” at dating?

You might have quietly (or not so quietly), asked these questions of yourself a million times. Most singles go through a state of confusion when dating starts to become daunting and exhausting…when efforts are not yielding positive results.

The best way to get clarity on whether or not you’re compromising yourself, your time, love and resources is to take a look at your list. Perhaps your “wants” list hasn’t served you and you’re finding yourself drawing in the same type of partner over and over into your life. Wishing for a different outcome without making some minor shifts in your perspective is fruitless.

Most successful people know how to do one thing very well: Work hard at everything! 

This type of work ethic in your dating life unfortunately doesn’t grant you a promotion, better pay, or a better love life. Trying too hard to make opportunities arise or a relationship succeed can leave you depleted and frustrated. Not to mention, lonely.

Here’s the good news: Your love life functions differently than your career. It requires attention and a thoughtful and dedicated approach, not your tenacity and sheer will. 

Your personal strength lies in how willing you are to stay focused on your values with your future in mind while also allowing for opportunities that might create the perfect setting to meet the ideal person for you. 

Most often, we see men and women getting lost in the “list” and refusing to let go of the vision they have in mind. They fear that if they let go of their grip, they’re letting go of the dream. 

If this resonates with you, know this: 

Taking your eye off the target, doesn’t make your vision of your partner disappear or more difficult to find or reach. It’s simply time to refine, recalibrate and pay attention to what is most valuable and important to your happiness and future success. 

You can get everything you’ve ever dreamed up, but make sure your dream is rooted in your values. You’ll never find happiness and love if your wants are overshadowing your needs.

To make dating effortless and enjoyable again, apply to join LEVEL, my exclusive, offline matchmaking network that only introduces you to people who align with what's most important to you.

Date smart. Date on your LEVEL.