Your Listener Is Like Your Cousin

When I listen to team shows, or solo on-air talent who have guests do interviews, etc., I repeatedly hear most shows make a simple mistake that is hindering their ability to connect with the listener. The good news is that this mistake is super easy to correct, and over time, fixing this one thing will really change how listeners perceive you and your show.

But first, a story for illustration - ?

Envision this – your cousin calls you one day, and says that he is moving to within a mile of you from another state. This just happens to be the one cousin in your family that you like just fine, so after a thankful sigh that it wasn’t “that other cousin” calling you with this news, you quickly conclude that you are looking forward to introducing your cousin to your circle of friends. You decide a “Welcome to town!” party for your cousin with all your friends and acquaintances is the best way for your cousin to meet everyone.

The night of the party comes, and all your friends are there, as well as your cousin. As people are enjoying chatting and relaxing, you take your cousin around to meet all your friends 1 by 1… You make an introduction and tell your cousin something meaningful or interesting about that friend. The interaction might go something like this - “Cousin Jim, meet my good friend Bill! Bill and I met when we both took a scuba diving class. We discovered we both took the class because we were trying to get over our fear of fish!” Everyone laughs, and then you turn to Bill and tell him something meaningful about your cousin. Hopefully, the conversation between the 2 of them takes off from there. Pretty soon, the whole night is over, and you’ve made dozens of connections between your cousin, and all your friends. It is called hospitality, being a good host. ?

One of the most common mistakes I hear when I listen to team shows, or when I hear solo talent interact with a guest (like an artist interview, etc.), is the talent on the show lose sight of the fact that there is a “third person” joining your conversation – the listener (aka ‘cousin Jim’ in the story above). Even though this third person (the listener) doesn’t have a microphone and cannot be a regular contributing part of the conversation, they are actually the most important person in the conversation (for obvious reasons). Because of this, the people in the conversation WITH the microphones (the talent) must work extra hard to make sure the listener feels like they are a part of the conversation at every turn.

Yet, I consistently hear talent, when talking to their co-host or to a guest, uncomfortably repeat a random fact about that person as a way of awkwardly and unnaturally leading the conversation in the direction they want it to go. Basically, this turns the listener into an eavesdropper – a distant third party who is not a part of the conversation, forced to listen in on 2 other people chatting. ?Moreover it just sounds weird, because real people wouldn’t introduce their friends to their cousin that way.

Here is what I mean - ??I recently heard a solo talent introduce Matthew West as a special guest – as the conversation went on, the on-air talent seemingly wanted to steer the conversation toward Matthew’s family, so what the talent said was:

Talent: “So, you’ve got 2 daughters.”

Not even a question. A statement! This was a missed opportunity to put me – the listener – in the conversation with them by envisioning the analogy of the party for your cousin. As a good host, when you introduce cousin Jim to Matthew West, you’d say, “Cousin Jim, I’d like you to meet Matthew West… he’s a singer- songwriter friend of mine, and by the way, he’s got 2 daughters!” rather than awkwardly looking at Matthew and saying, “so, you’ve got 2 daughters.” It should sound the same way on the radio – your listener is your cousin! As the talent, you are the connector. Keep your listener in the conversation by imagining yourself as a good party host, making sure they are included in what is happening rather than forced to eavesdrop.

Here’s another example - I heard a 2-person morning team once start a break about the weather like this:

Talent 1: “So, you grew up in the Midwest.”

(awkward pause, in which I promise I could very faintly hear the sound of a proverbial semi-truck driving through)

Talent 2: “Yes. I did”

Talent 1: “Then you know all about brutal winters.”

(2nd awkward pause, second semi)

Talent 2: “I guess I do.”

(so now, your listener is forced to eavesdrop on a conversation that both feels awkward and like it’s going nowhere.)

What if the on-air talent would have simply said (talking to me, the listener-) “You might not know this, but my co-host Jim grew up in the Midwest… so he knows all about brutal winters…” Now, as the listener, I am in the conversation with them, sitting at the table, “in the know” and a part of what is being discussed, rather than just eavesdropping. It is such a small shift in how you think about each break, but over time it will have tremendous impact, and will create listeners who feel more connected to you and your show, and who will consider you their friends. And, it will set you apart from your competition, who don’t know the power of what you know.

There are on-air moments every day that are perfect for putting your listener in the 3rd seat at your table. Train yourself to look for them and exploit them, rather than forcing listeners to just eavesdrop on your conversation. If you need help, call me – I’d love to be of service.