If your life is a struggle, do this.

There’s a principle I share with my clients, it’s that 'struggle leads to struggle'. Essentially it means that if you stay in the struggle, you'll create more. Change is a choice but many men stay stuck, simply because they don't have a strategy for solving their struggles.

In our post Covid climate, there’s some new struggles and some older ones that have intensified or raised their unwanted heads again. Whether you’re reading this and dealing with relationship challenges, health concerns, career or business frustrations, it’s fair to say that struggles in life are inevitable.

But, when the struggles come what do you do, how do you deal with them; because generally speaking men will do one of three things: They will avoid the issue, they will seek distractions, they will be defensive or dismissive

None of these strategies ‘address’ the struggle, they just prolong it, hence why I believe and share with my clients that 'struggle leads to struggle'.

Sometimes in life, it can feel like the whole world is against you and no matter how hard to try, things just keep getting harder.?I lived this life and I remember, I understand these feelings well.

The risk for the men that continue to accept a life of struggle is that they become so accustomed to it, that unknowingly they condition themselves to tolerate it and it becomes part of their identity.

In real world terms, for men living this life, it may look like:

• The pressures of work and constant and consuming
• The can't allow themselves to, or they feel guilty when relaxing
• They put the needs of others before themselves, particularly their partners/mothers
• They carry lots of (hidden) stress and live a life where everything feels a little frantic
• The make plans to do things with friends but there’s always a reason for them bailing out (often last minute)

If you recognise aspects of your own life, your own personality here, know that if you don’t own this, nothing will change for you…?

Your life will continue to be unnecessarily busy, unnecessarily stressful and unnecessarily difficult.

But if you’re ready to break the cycle of struggle and start owning your life, follow this sequence to better understand the issue and identify possible solutions:

1.?????Acknowledge your struggle – Write it down succinctly, define it, use the least words possible, get clarity of the issue that's playing out.

2.?????Identify your role in the struggle – Your ego wont like this, but if there’s a struggle and you’re in it then you’re playing/continuing to play a part in it.

3.?????List the options you have – You will have at least three options: stay stuck, the path of least resistance (passive action), the path of most resistance (paradigm shifting action).? Identify them, understand them.

4.?????Make a plan – Write it out, get it on one page. List the problems you face, the outcomes you wish to experience and the steps you will take to overcome the struggle.

NB. This is the time to enlist support if appropriate.

5.?????Back yourself – Harness your self belief, it will create a sense of 'fire in the belly', it will fuel your transition from struggle to satisfaction to success.

In summary, we often find that resilience, strength and personal growth come from struggle but it's worth recognising that not all struggle is useful.? If your struggles are just, are chosen, are taking you down the path you want to travel then roll up your sleeves and apply yourself with effort and enthusiasm…

But if your struggles are unwanted and exist because you are choosing not to address them, then know that you will remain a passenger in your own life.

I will leave you with this, ‘when in doubt, choose change’, you can be part of the solution or part of the problem but staying stuck in the struggle will wear you down.

If you have found this article useful, please engage by commenting, liking or sharing.

Thank you.