Your Legacy Is Defined by How You Lived -He Set the Bar

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On Monday, I received some devastating news. John Ruhlin, had died suddenly while on vacation with his wife and four daughters, ages 3 through 14.

John and I developed a close personal friendship and professional partnership over the years. He was one of my very first Elevate Podcast guests , my first repeat guest , and was also planning to speak to the Elevate Club this fall.

John was widely known as the gifting guru. His bestselling book, Giftology , is the bible on how to use gifting to forge and strengthen your most important relationships. John’s company helped some of the largest businesses in the world develop authentic gifting strategies for their most important clients and partners.

But giving wasn’t just a clever business idea for John—it was the very core of his being.

Everything John did in life and work was about giving to others—developing deep relationships, giving thoughtful gifts and creating meaningful moments. He did this without any expectation of reciprocity, but rather as a genuine expression of love and appreciation.

John gained a large following speaking about the importance of gifting and generosity, and as a friend, I can attest that he practiced what he preached. Anytime I got a call or email from John, it was never about something he needed. He was always reaching out with an idea or an introduction that could help me or my business. He constantly found ways to give more.

John loved to show up to events to personally witness the gifting of an item his company had commissioned for the partner or customer of a client, just to watch the recipient’s emotional reaction. One of his signature gifts was a $1,000 coffee mug, custom-made by an artist to honor the recipient's life's work, featuring personal details John had carefully researched. The mug was just one of many custom gifts John commissioned and gave. He knew well that these personalized gifts always made people feel seen and heard, which is a lost art today.

More recently, John started incorporating personalized videos into his gifts so he could share a personal message with the recipient where he spoke about their relationship and why he treasured them.

I've heard a lot of people talk about the legacy they will leave and how they want to shape it. Here's the thing, though: I don’t think we get to determine our legacies. We live the life we want to live, and other people determine our legacies after we’re gone.

Some of the people I know with the most powerful legacies never talked about it during their lifetime. They simply lived as they felt life should be lived and focused on making an impact on others. It was always that impact, and the relationships they developed, that became their legacy.

In a twist of fate, perhaps the most significant parts of John’s legacy are the hundreds of acts of love, friendship, and kindness he bestowed upon others—acts that will remain physically on display for years to come. Not only will these treasures live on as reminders of John, but they are also testaments to his generous philosophy. John’s legacy no doubt will inspire future acts of kindness and generosity, ensuring that his spirit lives on.?

I am grateful to still have one of John’s personalized videos, which he sent me last year. He was excitedly showcasing his new personalized book delivery product, gifting me one. At the time, I thought it was silly that he had spent hundreds of dollars just to send me a sample. Today, I'm incredibly thankful to have this reminder of him, though I haven't yet been able to bring myself to watch it again since I learned of his passing.

We often talk about Giver’s Gain , but in this case, it was those of us who received John’s generosity who gained the most.

I would be remiss if I did not try to help his wife and young children in their time of need. If you knew John or want to support his family, a GoFundMe has been set up to help. John was an unabashedly proud #girldad who regularly conducted Zoom calls from his minivan, jokingly referred to by his friends as “the vanborghini,” as he happily shuttled his daughters to school and events.

Quote Of The Week: “No one has ever become poor by giving.” – Anne Frank

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About Me

Robert Glazer is a serial entrepreneur, award-winning executive, bestselling author, and keynote speaker. He has a passion for helping individuals and organizations build their capacity and elevate their performance.

Learn more at www.robertglazer.com