Your Job is Not a Bad Tinder Date, so Don't Ghost It

I was a temp at a pest control company when I was 19, and on my second day I greeted my new coworkers when I came in. I received a few comments along the lines of “you came back!” and “we didn’t scare you away” and I laughed it off. However, later in the day on the managers told me that they had 3 other temps come through that quit without saying anything, not even to their agency. One temp in particular went to lunch and never came back, worrying managers and the agency that they had gotten into an accident. I was dumbfounded…you can just leave, and not say anything, and this is fine? This is about 10 years before the term was coined, but recently I’ve learned that we call this issue – Ghosting.

Ghosting, similar to the dating phenomenal, is where a person quits their job by abandoning their position without saying anything to anyone. HR and Executives have reported how this damages companies bottom lines, by needing to scramble to find a replacement, and can hurt company morale. In some cases, it causes panic in the person’s department because they don’t know if the person is okay. And in other positions that have high turnover, like call centers, it causes frustration and distrust for future employees.

While I don’t believe that ghosting a company will black list you or destroy a career, it can hurt in ways that you don’t expect. In smaller cities and small industries you could run into a former manager or coworker, who have labeled you with a big fat “C” for “coward” for going AWOL. If you worked with a recruiter or employment agency they would be unlikely to want to work with you if you walked out on a role. In certain industries, competitors are friendly and if your name gets floated to a better position and those managers talk, well…it’s not a great look. Also, if you are leaving a position because a similar one was offering more, you just lost a bargaining chip.

Ghosting happens, often because companies create the issue. A toxic work environment when the rate of unemployment is lower than ever, allows people to leave easier knowing that there are better options available. When a person feels undervalued or underpaid and there are plenty of companies posting for similar position, making a jump seems like an obvious option. Also, a slow on-boarding process can give a new employees time to finish interviewing at companies that offer more of what they are looking for.

Even in an ideal work situation, let’s just face it, quitting sucks. It makes a lot of people feel anxious setting up the meeting, printing off the resignation notice and snatching it before you coworkers can see it on the printer. You may be concerned if you are going to need to stay the last two weeks or of they will ask you to leave the moment you give your notice. And of course, there are the nerves that go along with anticipating how your manager will react. I once got so anxious when quitting a job that my manager asked if I needed to get some air before I continued speaking with her. It’s an uncomfortable thing to do, but something that is completely necessary.

So, what if you need to give less than two weeks’ notice? Maybe you just started the job but got a better offer or maybe the company is toxic and just the idea of going in another day drains you. If this is the case, give your manager a call to let them know you won’t be returning and also send that information over in writing. If you can’t stomach that, at the very least send an email. Let them know you won’t be returning, thank them for the opportunity and move the hell on. No one wants an inbox filled with “where are you?!” emails, or voicemails and text messages blowing up with panicked or pissed off bosses, it’s done. The sooner this is in the rear view mirror the better.

You are a professional and an adult, you take your career seriously and sometimes that means having difficult conversations. As you build your professional brand and build your career exactly how you want it, you will continue to need to have difficult conversations. You will need to tell people when they have crossed the line, you will need to fire people, you will need to tell that person down the hall that their cologne gives you headache. None of it is fun, and all of it is necessary. Quitting a job with short notice is not ideal, but with some grace and professionalism you can move forward closing that door behind you like the pro that you are. You are better than hiding from your responsibilities.