Your inner-critic - your worst enemy

I’ve been made redundant twice in 2 years… it has been a truly awful experience, but one that has also taught me many lessons and I wanted to share my observations and thoughts for anyone dealing with redundancy.

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Over the last 11 years, I’ve bounced from independent consultancy to working on a permanent basis with other consultancies and like so many people, the last couple of years have easily been the toughest in my career.

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Redundancy is a horrible experience for most people (some see it as a relief) and has been increasing across the UK since the furlough scheme came to an end. As the economy continues to be challenged by the consequences of the global pandemic, the war in Ukraine, questionable political decisions, and the cost-of-living crisis, so the wellbeing of more than half the UK’s workforce has been negatively affected by loss of work.

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The impact on mental health is significant. The worry this creates is relentless and the insecurity, inferiority complex and impact to self-worth has (and will continue to) hit so many. The news often comes as a shock and the environment that the employee is then thrown into is often bursting with chaos, confusion, and dismay – even the best handled redundancy situations are challenged by the world in which the redundant employee will be thrust into.

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For the individual, the news will ring loud and true for so long and the emotions will fluctuate – the change curve is in full effect. Their momentum is slowed by the weight of pressure to survive, to kick on and to find a new way. They may well change from who they normally are – stress can do that to us all.

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Their sleep pattern will be disrupted, their diet may significantly change, their anxiety increases, their tolerance and patience diminishes, and they may find their interactions with family and friends become strained and irrational. They may even become dependent on alcohol, food or even drugs to numb the sensations they’re feeling. Depression is a very real possibility, as are other health implications. We’re only human… none of us are perfect...and your colleagues that once were energised to work with you as part of a team, distance themselves – your support network disappears. Their silence is deafening and is soon replaced by the amplified unhelpful thoughts and the inner critic in your mind – the voices that once were there to protect you as a child, are now working against you.

Does any of this sound familiar?

When facing such life-changing events, your mind is constantly sabotaging your potential for performance and happiness. All your negative emotions, including stress, are the result of internal self-sabotage and they’ll continually interfere with your potential. Their destructive nature and their relentless delivery of ‘your (supposed) failures’ will bring you down. These voices (and there may be many of them with a different goal) will tell you that you’re no good and when you do manage to get some momentum, they will mock you that you ‘cannot do it’ or that ‘you’re only going to fail, why bother?!’.

Here are some of the things I heard?in my head…

·??????“You’ve failed…”

·??????“You’re an idiot!”

·??????“You’ve let your family down…”

·??????“You’re not good enough…”

·??????“They’re talking about you…?”

·??????“Pffft. Now what are you going to do?!”

·??????“Get yourself out of this one!!”

·??????“You should be ashamed…”

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The one thing I can tell you, no matter how much the initial pain feels and how toxic these voices are, there are choices to move you towards that place where you realise this moment changed your life for the better. Here’s the thing – we all suffer from these voices at different moments in our lives. It may not have been a redundancy situation, but another challenge at home or work when their ugliness surfaced. So, I wanted to post something helpful and share that there is hope and a way to accelerate forward. If you are someone that has been impacted, don’t suffer in silence – you’ve got this...

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1.????Give yourself time – rushing into something else might not be the best option, so relax more and move more to aid your thinking

2.????Talk with trusted allies and friends - clear your negative thoughts and acknowledge your true feelings

3.????Connect with your network – someone will love your talents within their team, so get connecting and go for it!

4.????Look for the gift in this experience - reframe this situation to all the good that this could mean for your new future

5.????Challenge your inner critic – they do not serve you and do not guide your destiny. Acknowledge them, even give them a name, and then tell these useless pieces of sh*t to bugger off while you’re at it!

6.????Be kind to yourself – breathe, walk, sleep, laugh (often), spend quality time with loved ones and think about how you re-energise you

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How powerful could we truly be if we silenced our destructive inner critics? What if we could immediately intercept and transform our thinking into something more positive, productive, and forward-focused?

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If you’d be open to know more about how I did it (and a team of awesome people around me have done it), drop me a message, because it’s good to talk about such challenges. When we talk, we understand.

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I have many people to thank for this and I’ll message you all directly with my appreciation. Without which, I wouldn’t be looking into 2023 and beyond with huge optimism, confidence, and energy.