Your Inner Critic...

 
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In This Issue:
     Quotes of the Week
     Your Inner Critic
     Bookmark - Unthink
     Inspirational Words
     Spiritual Centre
     Story Time
     Time to Smile
     Feedback
 
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"Change Gears" eZine is a no-cost electronic newsletter dedicated to helping people be more effective and fulfilled--to be masters of change instead of victims of change. What follows are tips, strategies, quotes, resources and shortcuts to getting more done in less time and having fun in the process--to living a more productive and fulfilling life. We're always on the lookout for information to help you live and work more effectively.
 
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Quotes of the Week

"Don't ever give up. Don't ever give in. Don't ever stop trying. Don't ever sell out. And if you find yourself succumbing to one of the above for a brief moment, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, whisper a prayer, and start where you left off. But never, ever, ever give up." - Richelle E. Goodrich

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"To love what you do and feel that it matters ó how could anything be more fun?" - Katharine Graham

"Fail not in your function of loving in a loveless place made out of darkness and deceit, for thus are darkness and deceit undone." - Unknown

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Your Inner Critic

Have you ever said ìYes? when you wanted to say ìNo?? Are you ever angry because your needs are ignored? Your self-esteem will soar when you stop being who you think you ìshould be? and become the shining star you truly are. The world is starved for your unique talents, so itís essential that you manage your inner critic.

YOUR INNER CRITIC STRUGGLES TO PLEASE OTHER PEOPLE

If you consistently strive to please other people, you have audios playing in the background of your consciousness. Your old tunes include:

ìI canít be myself. I have to be who they think I should be.?
ìIím afraid Iíll be rejected if I follow my heart.?
ìThey wonít like me if I stand up for myself and my beliefs.?
ìI need to be accepted by other people.?
ìItís not safe to be bold or assertive.?
ìI feel insecure if other people donít approve of my actions.?

People pleasing is a reliable recipe for failure. Even if we please the other person, when we arenít living our truth and meeting our own needs, we only gain conditional approval that can be withdrawn if we ever show our True Self. Sooner or later, usually at a very inconvenient time, our fake faáade will be exposed.

People pleasing is born from insecurity and lack of self-respect. We waste time and energy struggling to squash our True Self into an unforgiving box that suffocates our Soul. Why would we do this? Because the box represents who we think someone else expects us to be, it feels safe.

HOW TO EMPOWER YOURSELF WITH CONFIDENCE

Only when weíre true to ourselves do we radiate a confidence that other people respect, even if they donít want to be best buddies because we donít resonate with them.

Which of these two choices is yours?

Struggle to Please Other People. This option will zap your energy and destroy your self-esteem and peace of mind. Youíll struggle to maintain fragile friendships built on the lies of inauthenticity. Youíll constantly try to guess which direction to tilt each time a brisk wind blows.

Be Your Authentic Self. Youíll enjoy genuine relationships built on honesty and the courage to be vulnerable. The beautiful audios playing in the back of your mind will be confidently crooning, ìThis is who I am, world. I love myself too much to try to be who Iím not.? When you make this choice, you replace fear, inner conflict and self-sabotage with self-love and higher self-esteem.  

Peace of mind emerges effortlessly when youíre in integrity to yourself. When you live as Your Authentic Self, you learn to love all of your faults, bumps, bulges, warts and wrinkles.

Since you then approve of yourself, youíre so excited about living your personal life journey that youíre immune to the opinions of other people who throw verbal spears your direction. Then magic unfolds. Voila! Other people approve of you . . . or you no longer care.

Hereís a secret that will cause you to breathe a big sigh of relief. The people whose opinions youíve been so concerned about are so busy judging themselves that they donít have the time or energy to judge you.

BE YOU

No one else is qualified. Also, no one else deserves the special honor that your unique DNA has uniquely qualified you to enjoy. The more authentic you are, the more youíll genuinely and easily connect with other people. Youíll enjoy loving, supportive personal and professional relationships that produce endless growth and joy.

Until you have the courage to stop hiding Your True Self under the veil of who you think youíre supposed to be, your light will be so dim that youíll never grasp how brilliant you are. Once you decide to be genuine, the special light that only you can shine will shimmer with a radiance that will amaze you.

The first step is to manage your inner critic, the critical internal voice that tries to curb your personal growth with critical comments like, ìYouíre not good enough,? and ìItís not safe to show people Your Authentic Self.? Gain the joy of personal empowerment and happiness by discovering how to conquer your inner critic.

BEGIN NOW

Think about a personal or professional challenge youíre facing.

What does your inner critic say to you when you consider taking an intelligent risk?

What is the first step you want to take toward becoming Your Authentic Self and trusting that youíll be richly rewarded for your courage?

If this sounds challenging, ask for help from a qualified, experienced coach.

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Bookmark - Unthink
Author: Chris Paley
Price: 208.00

Your life is dominated by your unconscious mind: by thoughts you're unaware of and movements you don't realise you are making. Words, colours, mannerisms and other cues you don't realise are affecting you, change what you think. The confidence you have in your ability to reason and to consciously choose what to do is caused by a series of illusions that scientists are only just beginning to understand. The discovery of these illusions will change the way we see ourselves more than the discoveries of Darwin and Copernicus. Unthink explores the unconscious decisions we make and covers a variety of topics, ranging from how we choose politicians and romantic partners to more abstract subjects such as whether we can consciously decide to move our fingers.

The counter-intuitive observations that Chris makes in the book include:? If you want someone to fancy you, wear red and meet them somewhere frightening.? When waitresses repeat customers' orders back to them instead of just saying 'yes' they receive bigger tips.? To reduce your shopping bill, start at the beer and snacks end of the store and work backwards.?

If you sit someone in an upright chair when you give them good news they will be prouder of their achievements.? Having a picture of your family on your desk might make you work harder, but you'll be rattier when you get home! Chris Paley shows us how we can understand ourselves and others better, by having a greater understanding of the way that the unconscious mind has an impact of the way we live our lives.


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Inspirational Words

"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads." - Erica Jong

"Opportunities, many times, are so small that we glimpse them not and yet they are often the seeds of great enterprises. Opportunities are also everywhere and so you must always let your hook be hanging. When you least expect it, a great fish will swim by." - Og Mandino

"Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend." - Theophrastus

"One of the most important results you can bring into the world is the you that you really want to be." - Robert Fritz

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for you to stand on - or you will be taught how to fly." - Patrick Overton

"As a way of investigating how the superego operates within your own mind, you can once again inquire directly within, letting the answers float freely up from the subconscious. Ask yourself these two questions: How do I punish? and How do I reward? Make no distinction between internal or external punishment or reward. At first your answers may seem to be obvious, things that you already know. But then perhaps you will be surprised, and that is really the point of self-inquiry: to be open enough to discover what you were previously unaware of, that was unknown and unexamined - in this case, to discover how the superego manifests itself within your own mind." - Gangaji

"We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing." - Louisa May Alcott

"Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once." - William Shakespeare

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Spiritual Centre - Spirituality

"My Master says spirituality has to deal with the soul and the soul alone. It has nothing to do with the body; it has nothing to do with the intellect; it has nothing to do with the mind and other paraphernalia of human existence. He alone is spiritual who seeks the Ultimate consciousness or the Godly consciousness in himself, and strives to unite his personal, individual consciousness with that ultimate consciousness. This is spirituality."

(C) Shri. P. Rajagopalachari - President, Shri Ram Chandra Mission - https://www.sahajmarg.org

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Story Time - A Friend in Need
 
It happened not very long ago. But when youíre a snail, days move at snailís pace, too. So, if you were to ask our friend the snail when this happened, sheíd tell you, it was y-e-ars ago?

Well, to get on with our story. In the shade of a cool, damp log, snoozed a shy snail. She wasnít alone in her cosy home, oh no. She had company. There was a slug the snail called Cousin Glug because, you see, snails and slugs are part of the same family. Now, since they both lived on land, they didnít know, of course, that they had other cousins in the ocean!

Fancy that, perhaps they could have gone visiting cousins oyster and octopus, had they been wiser! Anyway, under the log, there lived a family of greedy woodlice who spent the day munching the wood of their log home. No one called them by any good name because they made such a maddening din, gnawing into the branch, that the other residents were rather cross with them.

Cousin Glug called our snail Sister Slither ? Slith, for short ? because she left a silvery wet trail. Slith was too polite, of course, to tell him that he did the same, itís just that he didnít look behind him when he moved!

Slither snoozed through the day in the shade of the fallen branch. She knew she was safe there from hungry birds that watched the ground with beady eyes. And when the day went to sleep taking most of the birds with her to dreamland, Slither crept out and twitched her two eye-stalks nervously to check if all was safe.

Then, she inched her way along, stopping by a juicy stalk. Munch, munch, munch. Sleeping all day made her hungry! Cousin Glug joined her, and it was a bit of a race. He waited for Slither to halt by a stalk and overtook her.

ìSnailís pace!? he laughed, looking back at poor Slither trying to catch up. Slither waited her chance. At the next plant, as Glug dug into a juicy leaf, she took off. A few steps down, she laughed, ìIíd heard of a sluggish creature. Now, Iíve met one!?

A cartoon snail: A Friend in Need - A story for kids

That bothered Glug. He had never learnt to take a joke and so, he thought out ways to run down Slith. ìImagine moving around with your home on your back!? he giggled.

A ripple of rude laughter went around the ants and the dragonflies and the mites. Poor Slith looked rather uncomfortable. ìAnd it even slows her down,? continued Glug, munching through a mulberry leaf. ìNow, if youíre slow, you canít run from trouble, can you??

Slith was silent. She wished she could tell them that she couldnít help being the way she was, just as Glug couldnít help being without a shell. Of course, sometimes, she wished she could fly like the butterfly, and chirp like the birds or nod in the breeze like the flowers. But most of the time, she was happy being a snail and thankful that she could curl into her home when she felt tired.

One night out, Slith was happy when Glug finally announced it was time to get home. He led the way while she trailed along.

As they turned the last corner, Glug gasped. ìWhatís happened?? he asked the crowd of weeping, wailing, waiting, ants and centipedes, millipedes and earthworms. ìLook,? sniffled a centipede, pointing to what was home when they left, ìOur homeís gone. Boo hoo hoo!?

ìDid an elephant carry it away?? asked Slith.

ìDid the tiger stamp it down?? squealed Glug.

ìAnd where did all this dust come from?? wondered Slith, staring at a heap of powder where their log home stood.

ìItís the woodlice,? wailed queen ant. ìIíd been telling them to move on, but would they listen? They chewed up their own home.?

ìAnd ours!? wailed the crowd.

ìWhere do we go now?? whimpered Slith, looking at Glug.

ìFancy that. Youíve got your home on your back. I should be the one to worry. And to tell you the truth, I AM worried,? sniffled Glug, bursting into tears.

It would soon be morning and the hungry birds would be out. They didnít have much time to act! ìLetís set out looking for a new home,? said Slith, touching Glug with her eye stalks. ìAnd so what if I carry my own home. Iím not leaving you. Youíre my friend!?

Glug gaped. How kind of Slith, he thought, after heíd teased her so often about her home! They set off. For the first time, Glug waited for Slith to keep up with him. It took a while before they found another log of wood rather like their old home.

As they tucked in, nuzzling against each other, Glug gave Slith a tired smile.

ìYouíre a brick, Slith,? he whispered.

ìNot at all,? she grinned, ìIím a snail. And youíre a slug!?

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Time to Smile - Life is Like That

Jail Or Marriage...

It's about 3:30 in the morning, a wife wakes up to find she is alone in the bed and she can hear her husband crying uncontrollably.

She gets up and starts to look for him.

He's not in the bathroom, living room, or in the kitchen.

As she passes the laundry room, she hears his faint sniffels coming from the basement.

She turns on the light and goes downstairs to find him.

Finally, she finds him huddled in the corner, rolled up into a ball, and crying hysterically.

She runs over to him and asks why he is crying.

He says, "Do you remember when we got married twenty (20) years ago?" She looks at him and says, "yes".

He says, "well, a couple of months before, your dad said that I could marry you or go to jail."

She says, "I already know that. I don't see what the problem is."

He says, "don't you see!!! I would have gotten out today!"

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