Your Infinite Potential: Getting Back on Track

Falling off track

You have clear goals. Maybe they are about where you want to get to in your career, the amount of exercise you do, eating nutritionally, improving your relationships or how you could reach your potential in any area of your life. 

You know what you need to do. You’ve made commitments. You have the best intentions.

You’ve had a couple of good weeks.

But then…

• Something at work didn’t go to plan, and you become demotivated
• It was too hot to exercise and now you can’t get back into it
• You ate one biscuit and thought, what’s the point – I might as well eat the whole pack
• Or you have just lost momentum – feel tired and stressed and lack any willpower

Later, you’re sorry and you’re disappointed in yourself. And you wonder why it’s so hard to stay on track and how to get back.

Why we fall off

One of the things to recognise is whether it was the most appropriate goal for us anyway. Many of us love the joy of starting something new, but then the novelty wears off and we get bored and start looking for the next thing to get into. Was this goal really important to us?

Or maybe we had unrealistic expectations – about the effort, the amount of time it would take to see results or the costs involved.

Or maybe we are trying to do too many things at once.

Or maybe we didn’t plan enough- including addressing the triggers that cause us to revert to our previous behaviours and setting things in place to make the new behaviours as easy for us as possible.

Or maybe the timing just wasn’t right. There may be something you needed to sort out first, or you may have to deal with something that was unexpected and requires your full attention.

Or maybe your willpower has been depleted.

Willpower

Willpower is interesting. Every day, in one form or another, you exert willpower. You resist the urge to surf the Web instead of finishing your expense report. You reach for a salad when you’re craving a pizza. You bite your tongue when you’d like to make a critical remark. Yet research shows that repeatedly resisting temptations takes a mental toll on us. Have you ever noticed that you can exert a lot of willpower in the morning, say eating healthily, but in the evening, you can’t resist that dessert? That’s me for sure. I find it easy to start the day strongly, with a morning ritual and nutritious food. But if I have had to resist temptation all day, come the evening and I am hunting for chocolate.

Some of the earliest evidence of this effect came from the lab of Roy Baumeister. In one study, he brought subjects into a room filled with the aroma of fresh-baked cookies. There were 2 bowls – one with cookies and the other with radishes. Half the group were asked to eat from the cookie bowl and not touch the radishes. The other half had to do the opposite. Researchers left the room for 10 minutes to bring about temptation and studied the situation with hidden cameras. They found that, despite looking longingly at the cookies bowl, the radish eaters stuck to their word – that was willpower at work!

A couple of hours later, they were called for a second ‘unrelated’ study about problem solving and given complicated unsolvable puzzles. And the results were telling. The cookie group i.e. the un-tempted participants spent, on average, 19 mins on the task making 34 attempts. The Radish group, on the other hand, gave up in 8 mins, after 19 attempts on average. They had used up a lot of their willpower in resisting the cookies.

Every time you exert your willpower – make a decision, handle a crisis, or avoid a temptation – you are drawing on limited reserves. Studies have shown that if you find yourself exerting extra willpower, you have a greater chance of giving up on something else later in the day.

What to do to get back on track

Falling off the track is not a time to condemn yourself. Recognise that falling off track is normal – it’s human. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It would be really unusual if you never had a setback. But the key is your ability to recognise why you went off track in the first place and how to get yourself back on as quickly as possible.

It is the best opportunity to learn - if you take the time to reflect on what happened, take ownership for it and determine what you need to adjust in the future.

I created the following 3Rs to provide a little mnemonic of what to do if you find yourself off-track.

Reflect - and not just a 5 minute ‘hmm, I should do better’. –Are you serious about this or not? It takes some considered reflection about what happened and why. What were triggers that prompted the set back? Were there other things in your day depleting your willpower? What are the things you must get right next time, so there isn’t a chain reaction of undesirable behaviours? Are there any deeply ingrained habits you need to address? Were you trying to do too many improvements at once? What do you need to adjust this time that will make a difference? What little/easy thing can you do that would be a quick win and re-establish the good habit?

Re-plan – Take your reflections and plan out what you will do this time to help you avoid another setback. What works for someone else won’t necessarily work for you, but you can think about including:

• Accountability – Rather than struggle on your own, telling a supportive person, or group of people, can help you retain your focus. For instance, for keeping up the momentum in writing this blog I am encouraged by my tribe of Happenistas, who provide support, feedback and inspiration. Studies have shown that you are at least 65% more likely to achieve your goals if you commit to someone.
• Schedule – put tasks in your calendar, even if it is just a small thing like having a class of lemon water when you get up every day. Plan to start with something easy to get to back on track. Don't over-schedule though. Think what you can reasonably accomplish, then layer on top of this as time goes on. And think about what else in your day could deplete your willpower. It could even be things unrelated to your goal, but leave you emotionally drained. Try to minimise these as much as possible. It is said that Steve Jobs wore his signature black shirt every day to minimise choices so that he didn't expend mental energy on unimportant decisions.
• Environment – design it for success. If you want to cycle in the morning, get your kit out and ready the night before. Put an inspirational article or picture by the side of your bed. If you want to improve your effectivness in meetings, print out your agenda with timings and notes you have prepared.

Resume - not start all over! One of the most demoralising parts of getting back on track is thinking that you’ve lost all your progress and have to start back at square one.

Luckily, this isn’t true. Every time you start, you have made progress and permanent improvements. You learn new tips, how to set better goals why tracking progress is important. Often the worst part of getting back on track is feeling like we have to walk back to the starting line. It can end up feeling like we’re getting farther and farther away from our goals. Like we’re taking one step forward and two steps back.

A good way to avoid this trap is put forward by Participaction. Their tip is focused on exercise but it is equally valide for any goal we are trying to pursue. The technique involves picturing yourself picking up your starting line and bringing it with you. There’s no doubt that at some point or another, you’re going to drop it or get tired and have to set it down—that’s part of trying, part of being human, part of the process.

But if you pick up the starting line, there’s no need to make the sad walk back to the beginning. When you build up the motivation to start again, you won’t be starting over, you’ll be starting right back where you left off, continuing on your path toward your goals.

Pick up the starting line and bring it with you, push the starting line closer and closer to your goal, and each time you start again you'll be that much closer to reaching the finish line. 

If you want to learn more, check out 70 powerful habits that will get your life back on track.

See you back on the rails!

For more insights visit www.peppermill.org

Diane is Head of People Development at Newton Europe

This is the 12th in the Series: Your Infinite Potential:

1. Your Infinite Potential: Living to the Max
2. Your Infinite Potential: Prune for New Growth
3. Your Infinite Potential: The Power of Morning Ritual
4. Your Infinite Potential: Lies Outside Your Comfort Zone
5. Your Infinite Potential: Making the Most of Your Time
6. Your Infinite Potential: Are you Holding You Back?
7. Your Infinite Potential: Through Helping Others
8. Your Infinite Potential: Stay Curious
9. Your Infinite Potential: Be Less Busy Being Busy
10. Your Infinite Potential: Recharge Yourself
11. Your Infinite Potential: Learn to Listen and Listen to Learn