Your Ignorance is Showing

What does Disability look like?

Can you please tell me?

I apparently didn't receive my handbook or any kind of instruction on what I'm meant to look like as a Disabled Person. But yet, when I share that I have non-visible disabilities, I'm told I don't look Disabled.

"You don't look Disabled" or "I don't see you as Disabled."

I've heard statements like this my whole life. It's like people downplay our lived experiences to either reassure us or to make themselves feel more comfortable.

I don't tick that person's mind's conscious bias box of what Disability should be.

I am Registered Blind. When people hear the word “blind” their mind bias kicks in. It's not the person’s fault, it is their unconscious bias. Society has conditioned us to see certain Disabilities one way. Society has conditioned us that when we think of the word Disabled or Disability, we typically picture one thing in our mind. A wheelchair user or physical disability.

It's an unconscious bias, yet people seem to think it's a compliment to tell us we don't look Disabled, or they don't see us as Disabled.

Telling us that you don't see us as Disabled is you telling us that our lived experience makes you uncomfortable.

That it's an afterthought when it’s a piece of our identity. It cannot be erased, nor can the experiences, challenges or traumas associated. These comments are belittling. It belittles our lived experiences, and it can impact our self-advocacy. Statements like this can trigger, hurt and leave a lasting impact.?

We're stuck in the web that is society's ableism.

Having to endure this ableism every day we start to believe that we're the problem needing to be be fixed.

In the past when friends and colleagues would tell me they don't see my Disability I would feel good about it.?I felt what I thought was “normal”. I thought this made me like everyone else. I thought it made me equal.

I was wrong.

This was enabling the internalized ableism that I was fostering. The feeling that my Disability made me less than others and that I was not Disabled enough to say I was Disabled.

This added to the trauma. Years of feeling isolated, being bullied, segregated struggling with an inaccessible world. This trauma adds to the internalized ableism we experience. Like fuel to the fire, these meant-to-be compliments reinforced the idea that I wasn't disabled enough to say I was disabled.

And so, it impacted my ability to ask for support in situations, it impacted my self-advocacy. When others commented?I didn't look disabled, it only added to the harmful beliefs I was fostering.

These comments don't always come from a hateful place it can simply be a lack of understanding.

But the damage is dealt with as soon as the words break breath.

I've spent the majority of my life accepting these comments. Politely smiling or awkwardly nodding. At first, I thought it was a good thing only later to have to unpack this trauma. Having to unpack years of internalized ableism, having to rebuild my confidence and learning that these comments did so much harm, I can no longer stand back and listen.

It is not a compliment.

There is no justification. I've had people try to justify why someone says this, but in reality, there is no valid reason to say this.

Disability is diverse. There's no one appearance, and there is no one experience.?If you've met one Disabled person, you've only met one Disabled Person.

Our lived experience is a piece of our identity.

Society disables us in our own unique ways. We have experiences and challenges that intersect with our identities, but it is still a piece of our identity, and you are not doing us any favours by sugar-coating our lived experiences. Disability is diverse. Each induvial with lived experience has their own unique experiences. This lived experience will differ from person to person and even among those who may have the same or similar conditions.

Each induvial will have their preferred way of navigating the world, the workplace, preferred adjustments/ accommodations, and their own way of identifying.

We need to see each person for what they are, an induvial.

For us to best support those of us who learn, think, or do things differently you need to first recognize that we are an individual and we are the experts on our lived experiences. That there is no one appearance, no one experience, and there is no one size fits all.

Yes, our Disability might not be visible, but commenting you don’t look Disabled or I don’t see your Disability only makes your ableism visible.

Disabled By Society

This is my side hustle, where I help individuals and brands take accountability for accessiblity.

• Speaking??
• Content creating:?Accessible Graphics?| Accessible Carousels | Alt Text and Image Description writing | Content Writing | Accessible Marketing
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Get in touch: [email protected]

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