Is your idea of Self-Defence in line with your Perception of Violence and do either of them have anything at all to do with the reality of ‘violence'?

Is your idea of Self-Defence in line with your Perception of Violence and do either of them have anything at all to do with the reality of ‘violence'?


I have just read an article by a gentleman I recently interviewed and was very impressed with, in person, who has as so many do written of scenarios, in which you may need to defend yourself or others, and to be honest with you it just seems so unrealistic from someone of this calibre that it is, at least for me, losing some credibility. It seems to have lost its connection with reality. What is reality based training if you in fact remove it from reality.

I will let you decide from these quotes.

  1. “Imagine this: You’re walking down a dark alley with your family. Out of nowhere, a group of rough-looking individuals approaches, and they make it clear through their words and demeanour that they intend to harm you and your loved ones.”
  2. “But when you’re faced with real violence—like an attack in a parking lot between two cars, where two or three aggressors outnumber you—you need to recognize that your training may need to shift beyond the confines of any one system.”

So, I ask you. In what world would you be walking down a dark alley with your family??

In what scenario exactly would you commit such a basic error and blatant lack of respect for your families safety?

How many ‘Golden rules’ of a self defender have you broken to get into that position, and what makes you think any level of physical training you may (or more likely may not) have would work to get you out of it, once you have already gotten so many ‘common-sense' solutions wrong?

When would you possibly encounter a group of assailants whilst sandwiched between parked cars in a parking lot?

Obviously when you wander aimlessly, without a care in the world and no regard for your personal safety, into what your ‘self-defence' instructor will most likely call an “ambush” situation, to glorify the abilities of your assailants and absolve you of your personal responsibility and for your complete lack of situational awareness, and dare I say “common-sense”.

What confuses me even more is that an internationally recognised and highly praised instructor should use such weak arguments to promote his company’s ability to teach you what you need to protect yourself, above others!

Any instructor who proclaims they teach self-defence must surely be aware that even the best trained martial artists or combat sport practitioners are poorly equipped to combat real world violence, never mind the (politically incorrect) “everyday soccer mom” example I often use. For that reason “self-defence” for the great majority of civilians should include little or none of the fanciful physical techniques and a whole load of:

  • a) street smarts,?
  • b) ego management (yours)
  • c) situational awareness??
  • d) environmental control?
  • e) self evaluation/reality checks
  • f) verbal communication skills and conflict management
  • g) behavioural analysis
  • h) AIR: Actions, Interactions, Reactions

Should I go on?

Most aggression (social or anti-social) aimed at good people is not pure Violence.?

Most good people manage to bluff, or fight their way out of aggressively charged antisocial situations, a little the worse for wear but alive, and with no prior knowledge of combat skills.

And, my experience has shown me that most people who come to ‘Self-defence' classes come looking to learn how to fight like the stars on the TV, a magic solution to their as of yet non existent combative problems. When they should be coming to learn how to “Avoid”!?

The reason for that, in my humble opinion, is quite simply because so many “instructors” sell unrealistic scenarios of violent intent and even more unrealistic, if not down right delusional scenarios of how to defeat violence.

I have been participating in violence, real violence for approximately 50 years. I have been the victim of it, an observer of it, a student in the study of it and the person who administers it. I have been doing it to real people, stopping real people from doing it to me and teaching others how to do violence to bad people, with the intention of stopping bad people from doing violence to good people, more or less my whole life.?

And for that reason I understand that most (normal, everyday, average) people are not equipped to challenge violence, in the way they believe they should, because violence when it visits is seldom what they expected it to be, and that almost everyone is more than capable of avoiding it, almost always, and do!

It seems that most ‘instructors’ across the board specialize in something physical (usually not violence or violence prevention) that they believe can combat their perception of violence. Very rarely will you come across an ‘Instructor’ who has encountered any form of real physical violence let alone combatted it with the tricks and techniques only they can teach you.

Those who have convinced themselves that they have real-life-experience because they had a fight on the way home from school 50 years ago (no blood, broken bones, unconsciousness, near death experiences, no weapons but lots of nasty words and a couple of pushes here and there), and those who have never encountered violence because they are ‘masters of avoidance’ are delusional , and they are referring to social aggression and antisocial behaviour but not violence!

Because their own perception of violence is flawed, they believe they have something they can do personally and that they want to sell to you…

Those who know me know I have no adversity to physical solutions, the use of violence, to remove us from complex situations, nor do I have a problem teaching others to do so, should the need arise. Self-defence?however, is not a one size fits all remedy.

"I have the magic pill and with it you and your loved ones will be safe"!!

No. Once past the fundamental principles and the basic techniques self-defence, in my book at least, should be bespoke and the strategy should be designed around the student and their abilities, strengths and weaknesses and of course the "real-life" situations they are most likely to encounter.

The fundamentals of avoidance are for everyone. The fundamentals of combat are not. Know the difference and select your “self-defence guru’s “ carefully.

"Failure to prepare is preparing to fail".

"Predator or Prey, your choice"


We provide Governmental, professional, and civilian security services and training in Spain and Latin America. Options are available to those who wish to increase their personal safety, the safety of their loved ones or clients, or who wish to advance their careers in Close Protection with professional no-nonsense skillsets.

I teach private, mainly academic, online classes, and in-person; private, family, and group classes in Cádiz province in Spain.

The subject matter I cover includes but is not limited to: My D.A.D.A. program. Detect, Avoid, Distract, Attack (CQC). Situational awareness and avoiding problematic situations; People profiling for your safety; Situational control and tactical conversation; Physical solutions for violent situations; Security at home and protection solutions.

In-person classes can include in-depth physical combative training. The use of physical violence for your safety and security.

If you would like information on any of the above subjects feel free to DM me and we can have an informal "chat" old school style!

Alternatively contact me at: www.insafehands.net

[email protected]


Rtn. Chakradhari ????????

Ex-Civilian?? | Mission - ???? ????? | Rotary Zonal Chair - Peace Building & Conflict Prevention | Instructor, Close Protection and Counter Terrorism ???? | Tango Six O'Clock LLP

1 个月

This one will cause intellectual indigestion to many because you make too much sense. There are 2 big challenges I have personally encountered. 1. Ignorance: people think mitigating violent crime is as easy as it's shown on Netflix or YouTube. They think the youtuber who has a few million followers for his self defence channel knows exactly how to teach his YT audience via YT on how to disarm someone with a gun on them. 2. Arrogance: People know everything. And their source is the www and AI engines. The deadliest combination that makes a perfect victim is of these 2. I just made a post about violence and tagged you. Plz do share your thoughts on that one. I guess our posts are connected in more than one way.

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