Your Holy Identity
Your Holy Identity is one of a series of interviews by Bursting Through Founder Steve Petersen exploring religion and the Queer Community. It was first published in the Q2 2022 edition of Bursting Through Connections digital magazine. It is rerunning here because there is much to learn from Pastor Jason and his affirming faith.
Many members of the LGBTQIA+ community are people of faith but religion and the Queer community tend to have a complicated relationship. Unfortunately, many Queer people struggle to find acceptance at their church.?
Ensuring everyone is welcomed into a congregation is a complex issue that many church leaders struggle with. From making certain the church is a safe place for everyone, to breaking down stereotypes that keep the LGBTQIA+ community away can be challenging at best.
How do churches welcome members of the Queer Community?? What are the discussions we need to have around religion and LGBTQ+ people? What are the challenges facing a Pastor who wants to build a diverse and inclusive congregation?? To find out, I asked Pastor Jason.?
Pastor Jason serves the Las Vegas Good Samaritan Lutheran Church with a Masters of Divinity.? He and his wife Ivy have four children ages 6-15.? Pastor Jason is a Florida native who has played guitar in a Punk Rock band and has been in the radio business in Florida, Los Angeles and Las Vegas.? He is passionate about community and fostering relationships.
Q. This story is about you as a member of the clergy, religion and the LGBTQIA+ community. Tell us about your path to becoming Pastor Jason.
A. I grew up in a family of Lutherans, with grandparents from Pennsylvania, who became founding members of their church in Boca Raton, FL more than 50 years ago. I attended a Lutheran school until the 3rd grade, and have fond memories of my Sunday School teacher, who shared love and grace (and candy) with us.?
As our family grew, getting to church on Sundays became more difficult, but I never lost faith. After going through a divorce, when I felt alone and angry, I prayed. I needed God to show me how to let go of the hurt and anger. I volunteered to read to a kindergarten class in central L.A., and decided I’d find a church.?
It took a few years, but by 2007 we finally found a place where we felt welcomed and included. I was working in Las Vegas and selling advertising on the radio, and just knew there was something else that I was supposed to be doing. I prayed every night that God would show me where to go.
It was another church member who saw the ways I was serving in the church—assisting in worship, helping with Bible studies, volunteering, playing in the worship band—and invited me to think about going to seminary. I didn’t give it much thought. She asked again for me to consider it, and began to do some research, all the time praying that God would show me where I was meant to be.
In the summer of 2009, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (with nearly 4 million members at that time) voted to allow for ordination of people in same-sex relationships. I was proud of my church and knew it was where I wanted to serve.?
That fall, my wife and I visited Wartburg Seminary in Dubuque Iowa. I asked all the questions I could think of and met with faculty and talked to students.?My spouse was supportive and gracious, even as she was pregnant with our second child. When I returned home and back to work, I thought, “This is too much. Who quits their job in Las Vegas and sells a home and everything they own and moves to Dubuque, Iowa?”?
I told myself I’d just get back to work and forget about the whole thing. Then, I felt a punch in the gut, my heart dropped to my stomach, and I sat in the car and wept, right there in the parking lot at the office.?
I knew God was calling me, and I could not turn away. I was going to seminary. So my prayer changed. Every night after that I prayed, “God, show me the way, because I have no idea how this is going to go.”
Q. We connected because I saw you post on Facebook, “I am a PASTOR who loves and advocates for LGBTQIA+ siblings." You further commented, “YOU are loved as you are, for?all that you are, and I am glad you are here.”? Can you tell us about that post?
A. I believe that if we are being the people that faith calls us to be, we get to speak out boldly about what we believe. I struggle with that sometimes, because I know not everyone is on the same page, and it’s not about me, but about the whole community I’ve been called to serve with.?
Growing up I had friends who were gay and they struggled to accept themselves at times. I also had friends who were bullied for wearing dresses to school. I have 4 siblings, and 4 children who are all very different. I want them all to know they can fully be themselves, be safe, and accepted with me.?
I just think it’s a better world when we welcome and affirm one another, create space to learn about ourselves and each other, and grow. Some will say,?“All are welcome!”, but really mean that?you have to assimilate,?or hide a part of your identity?in order to fit in.?That’s just not good enough.?
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I want people to know that their identity is holy and the gifts they have are meant to be shared (and not just in Pride month). Not all of our churches are like ours, and not all pastors believe the way I do, so I know we still have struggles to overcome, and healing to work toward, but I want to use my voice and my presence to share that with others.
Q. Through your lens as a pastor, what are the biggest challenges/difficulties Queer people of faith face with their churches, church leaders and congregations??
A. There are so many challenges we all face today. This goes for straight- identifying people as well. It’s a challenge to show up as yourself, to speak truth to power, to ask for what you need, and to commit to serving together as a community, especially when people are selfish, hurtful, callous, arrogant, hypocrites, or self-righteous (in other words, human).?
Human beings are a mess. Well-meaning people will still use your dead-name or wrong pronouns, accuse you of virtue signaling for speaking out on a cause you believe in, or shame you for what you wear. I’ve seen it, and it sucks. There’s no reason for it.?
This is not just in the church, I know, but especially as people of faith, I believe we ought to remember to be centered in grace, forgiveness, and mercy. This is supposed to be what we’re about.?
One challenge is that the language we so often use in church is heteronormative and patriarchal. This is slowly changing in some places, but we need to be more intentional about it. We strive to use expansive names for God, to see ourselves as a part of a diverse community, and to be mindful of those on the margins of our society and those who do not have the same privileges as us. But we all mess it up at times, too.?
Grace and patience have to go both ways in all our relationships.?
Q. An obstacle that many Queer people of faith may face is rejection from their faith if they live a fully out life at their church. Have you witnessed that and how do you take down that obstacle and make Queer people feel welcomed and safe??
A. I love it when people are open enough to share about their sexuality with me. It’s not something that I ask about, but it comes up at times as we share our lives together. I try to be grateful for the trust that it implies when someone shares that with me.?
I’ve talked with folks who have had to navigate coming out, and I just try to be as supportive as possible, to let them know that I’m a safe person to talk to. Social media helps in that way. I think you can get a pretty good idea of where a person stands on some issues, and can help to lower barriers.?
One thing we’ve done as a church is to follow a process of one-to-one conversations about welcome and inclusiveness in the church, working with advocates and allies to become a Reconciling in Christ congregation.
This means that we’ve had the conversations, and thoughtfully prepared a statement of welcome that guides us on our way to becoming the community that we want to be. It doesn’t mean that we’ve crossed the finish line, but we’re on the way.?
Q. What are three things you want a Queer person of faith who doesn’t feel welcome or safe at their church to know??
A.
Thank you Pastor Jason for sharing your faith, wisdom and personal journey.?Your compassion, honesty and love of people comes through with every answer.
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