Your First One-On-Ones

In your first week as a new manager, you should get a handle on what your team is doing and start building strong, professional relationships with your direct reports. One of the best ways to achieve both of these goals is to hold one-on-one meetings with each of your employees.

Don't hold your one-on-ones on your first day. Even more importantly, don't hold them before you've met with your own boss. But do try to hold them all before the end of your first week.

Let's look at an example one-on-one and then we'll break it down, question-by-question.

Josh (The New Manager): Hey, thanks for coming in, Crystal. How are you?

Crystal: I'm good. We had a birthday party for my youngest last night and the weather was fantastic!

Josh: That's great! I got some sunshine myself last night. So, what are you working on?

Crystal: The budget year is almost over, so I've been processing purchase orders non-stop for the past few weeks. There hasn't been time for much else.

Josh: I see. Can you share your objectives with me?

Crystal: You mean, from my performance review?

Josh: Yes, exactly.

Crystal: [Laughs] I'd have to look those up, to be honest. I think they have to do with...building relationships with our business partners? It feels like we wrote those a hundred years ago. I don't think they have anything to do with our work today.

Josh: Okay, thanks for your honesty on that. In your opinion, what is the team doing well that we should keep doing?

Crystal: We've got good systems in place. Bill--the manager before you--wasn't much of a people person, but he was great with processes. We can really crank out purchase requests now.

Josh: And what can we do better as a team, in your opinion?

Crystal: A few weeks ago, we started using this new time-tracking system and it's just not user-friendly. We were better off putting our hours in a spreadsheet like before.

Josh: Thank you for sharing that. Any advice for me?

Crystal: Hmmm. Well, if I were you, I'd try to really get into the details of the work. It's a lot more complicated than most people realize.

Josh: Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. Is there anything I can do to help you?

Crystal: I'd like to talk to someone about my career. I know I can do more in this company than I have been, but Bill was kind of hard to talk to about that stuff.

Josh: Great. I'll follow up on that before the end of next week. Does that sound okay?

Crystal: Yeah, thanks!

Josh: Is there anything else I should know about the team that I haven't heard because I haven't asked the right question?

Crystal: Hmmm. That's tough. [Pause]. You know, I don't think we have the best reputation in the company. We all get along with each other on the team, but I get the feeling that a lot of people don't like us because we have to tell them "no" so often.

Josh: Thank you very much for sharing that. You've given me a lot to consider. I'll invite you for another one-on-one after I get my feet under me, and we'll set up that career chat for sometime next week. Sound good?

Crystal: Sure. Thanks!

Now let's take a look at the questions Josh asked.

How are you?

Instead of getting down to business right away, Josh starts the conversation by showing a personal interest in Crystal. Crucially, this question gives Crystal all the power. She can share as much or as little as she likes. Some employees will answer "fine" and move on to business. Others will want to share a little more about themselves.

What are you working on?

The value of this question is obvious. Josh now knows about Crystal's short-term priorities. The next time he talks to her, he can ask her how the purchase orders are going. After asking this question of each of his direct reports, he'll have a good idea of what the entire team is doing and who is currently responsible for what.

What are your objectives?

By asking this question, Josh learned that Crystal's day-to-day work isn't aligned with her objectives--a very common state of affairs. He also learned about her general attitude toward objectives and the team's current performance management approach. If the other members of his team are similarly misaligned, he knows he'll have to address this issue fairly early.

What is the team doing well that we should keep doing?

Some new managers are so anxious to put their stamp on a team and to get quick wins that they unknowingly make changes that trash what the team values. By asking this question upfront, Josh can make better decisions about what to change and what to leave alone.

What can we do better?

There is probably no one in the company who has given this question more thought than the current members of the team. Crystal and her co-workers will be an invaluable source of ideas for improvements.

What advice do you have for me?

Crystal may have some good advice for Josh. In addition, by asking her to advise him, he gives Crystal a sense of buy-in for his leadership. If she sees herself in the position of helping Josh--not just reporting to him--she'll develop a personal stake in his success.

Is there anything I can do to help you?

In addition to eliciting ideas for how he can help her, Josh is communicating that he's not interested in unnecessarily micro-managing her. He's positioning himself as someone who's interested in clearing away obstacles for her so she can do her best work.

Is there anything you think I should know that I haven't heard because I didn't ask the right question?

This question shows Crystal that Josh respects her opinion and values her input. This also gives Crystal an opportunity to share any issues that she wants to get off her chest.

In addition to asking good questions, Josh responds in a smart way:

• He says, "thank you." Each time he asks a question, he thanks Crystal for answering it. In addition to expressing his gratitude, he also makes it more likely that Crystal will want to provide input in the future.
• He doesn't promise anything he shouldn't. Having a career conversation with Crystal is entirely in his own power. Switching back to time-tracking on spreadsheets, on the other hand, is something he'll want to think more about and discuss with his other direct reports and his own manager.
• He doesn't criticize his predecessor. Crystal makes an unflattering comment about the old boss, Bill. Josh wisely chooses not to comment on it. As tempting as it might be to earn some goodwill with Crystal by sympathizing with her about Bill's shortcomings, he knows that doing so will ultimately undermine his team's respect for him.

Some of this article was based on the work of Gordy Curphy, PhD, of The Rocket Model. If you want to learn more about building high-performance teams, you can find some great tools and ideas on their website.

This is part of a series of articles for new managers. If you enjoyed this post, check out the other articles in the series: Promotion Shock, The Boring Truth About Wardrobe, The Near Mentor, Listen to Everything, Promise Nothing, Your First Day, Don't Mention It, Ask And You Shall Receive, What Got You Here Blah, Blah Blah, You are Not the Yardstick, The Most Important Meeting, You're on the Air, Your People Come First, Your First One-On-Ones, and Perspective-Taking: An Overlooked Skill for New Managers.