Is your fear in control without your knowledge or consent?

I called my latest book?The Loudest Guest?because fear is a visitor in our mind and sometimes it has a very loud, insistent voice that is always trying to get our attention. That voice is useful to us -?it protects us from danger BUT, when we give our fear voice too much airtime it can impact our performance at life and at work.

At work,?when we allow our fear voice to be in control,?we:

• make poorer decisions as we norm towards the least risky option (to avoid the risk of failure)
• groupthink to keep us safe (to avoid the risk of rejection)
• keep quiet when we see mistakes (to avoid the risk of being wrong)
• don’t tell people we don’t understand (to avoid being thought of as stupid)
• don’t give people feedback (to avoid upsetting them or offending people).
• arc up when we feel under threat, fearing our status or our power
• act defensively or refuse to trust
• create silos of defence and
• act in other ways that reduce what we can do together

When our fear voice is in control, we lose our ability to perform well

Recognising where your fear voice commands you without you even knowing or having a chance to debate with it, would be an interesting discovery. What if it was playing a significant role in your communication, your connections, decisions or actions without your knowledge or consent?

Tune in

Do you want fear to be your automatic internal leader or would it be better to evaluate this fear voice and decide deliberately knowing what fear wants for you, but also knowing what you could do for the good of the longer term, or your clients, or your colleagues.

Once we get close enough to our fear voice that we can hear it, we can start to evaluate it and decide whether it has things of use to tell us or whether it is actually causing us more grief.

The limited range of options that the fear voice gives us — avoid, arc up, play dead — is not sophisticated enough to deal with our working life. When you can hear and assess your fear voice rather than simply reacting to it, you are giving yourself the choice to move beyond fear. Doesn’t that sound good?

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I was honoured to be on David Frizzell's podcast, Team Guru. Here’s an except:

"This is actually a finding that happened after the book came out. People were reading it and saying to me, I never knew that those things were fear. I thought that was me being irritated by people or I thought that was frustration or I thought that was protectiveness and sort of a lack of being able to trust.?I didn’t see it as being fear.?People see the response but they don’t necessarily understand that, that comes from a place of fear. Fear of rejection, or fear of being hurt or a fear of being let down, or a fear of being controlled or reduced in some ways. I think the link between our behaviour is not something we’re always really clear."

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