Your desires are not yours?

Sometimes, we want things because we've seen others have them, like toys, clothes, or habits. We copy what we see around us without even thinking about why we want those things. But being truly ourselves means doing what feels right for us, not just following what others are doing. It's important to ask ourselves: "Do I really want this, or am I just copying someone else for no reason?" Being unique is about doing what makes us happy and feels true to who we are.

We are all, in a way, copies. Copies of things, people, and everything we have seen and desired since we began storing images of them in our memories. Our growth has been shaped by the things we remember, desire, and seek. But if everything we are and possess is a copy, a reflection of something we've seen or been influenced by, then what is real? What is it that isn’t a copy? How can we call ourselves unique?

Are we not simply clones? Clones of our surroundings, clones of the people around us? After all, it’s often said that “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” But I believe this idea is flawed. You can be yourself, no matter where you are or who you’re with. or wherever you are. That’s where true uniqueness lies, being wholly and authentically "you," regardless of external influences.

However, to achieve this, we first need to recognise the images of desires we’ve unconsciously stored since childhood. These desires have been copied and borrowed from others without us truly understanding why. Why did we adopt someone else’s thoughts, actions, or possessions? Why did those things become so importantly desirable to us? Did we truly love them, or did we simply crave them because someone else had them?

The deeper question is - why can’t we just be ourselves? And why do those who refuse to conform to this collective mindset / those who reject the slave mentality of mindlessly following desires often stand apart? What makes us unique isn’t blindly adopting the desires of others, but rather finding something we are intrinsically drawn to, something we do freely, without external pressure or internal compulsion. It’s about pursuing what genuinely resonates with us, without forcing ourselves to follow the desires of others in pursuit of validation or reward or anything else you can name a word. As Naval Ravikant says, "When you get caught up in these status games triggered by copied desire makes you compete over things that are not worth competing over."

In essence, true freedom and uniqueness come from questioning our desires and understanding their origins. Are they truly ours, or are they simply borrowed reflections of what others want? Real individuality comes from doing what feels natural and true to us, not what is imposed upon us, either by society or by our own conditioned thinking.

-Sagar

How do you make a child understand this? (if any parent is reading this)

(The idea is easier for a young child to grasp, using examples like toys and feelings they can relate to.)

When you see your friend playing with a nice toy, sometimes you feel like you want that toy too, even if you didn’t think about it before. We often like things just because we see others liking them. But you know what’s really important? It's to stop for a moment and ask yourself, 'Do I really like this, or am I just wanting it because they have it?'

Think about this: what if you do things or choose toys that make you happy, not just because someone else is doing it? That’s when you are being yourself. You don’t have to copy what others do. You can decide what’s right for you by listening to how you feel inside. Being yourself means knowing what you truly like, instead of just following what others like. And that makes you special.