Your Daily Behaviour

Behaviour has been described as the way in which a person acts or conducts him or herself, in response to a particular situation or stimulus, especially towards others.

Have you ever wondered why you get on better with some people than others? Have you ever wondered why some people make friends easily while others could not even lead in silent prayer?

Have you ever wondered why some people frustrate the living daylights out of you with just about everything they say or do or? (yes, I am very polite here?)

It has a lot to do with our personality styles; the ways we behave differently from others at work, in our circle of friends, and even in our own families.

So, what has all that got to do with self-care?

Let me ask you a question: How much easier would life be if we could understand each other better and just get on with them, even with our spouse or partners? 

Do you not think that would have tremendous health benefits…to all parties involved? …Of course it would.

Then I have another question for you: How well do you know the people you interact with most regularly; Your significant other half, your children, friends, and work colleagues? You might know what they like to wear, do, and eat, even some of their hobbies and other favourite pass-times but do you really know them?  Possibly not as well as you expected.

Maybe here we should take a step back and ask: How well do you know yourself?  Yes, that person looking back in the mirror every morning when you are brushing their teeth….maybe not as well as you think.

That is probably where we should start as we have heard these wonderful sayings:

“You can’t give what you haven’t got” and â€œBe the change you want to see in the world.” even â€œ Know Thyself”.

Would it not make sense to really get to know yourself first? Your behavioural style, the way you communicate, your learning style, your leadership strengths…and more? 

How would that help you? By getting to know yourself better in the first place, you will be able to more fully understand how you communicate with others, as well as start to recognize their styles so you can choose to adapt when you talk with them? Do you think that would help?

There is another area of behaviour we very rarely think into, yet display every single day; Our Daily Behaviours.

How do you react when someone is downright nasty to you? Do you lower yourself to their level and get right into a shouting match?

What do you do when you have received some bad news? Do you have an emotional outburst or worry internally for days?

When you are totally stressed out do you open a cupboard or the fridge for comfort, light up a cigarette, have a stiff drink or even turn to drugs?

No doubt there are many other examples we can mention but sure you get the general idea. If you partake in one or more of those negative behaviours, how do you think it affects your health and general well-being?...or the people around you?

Do you eat in front of your laptop sitting slumped into a chair? Do you drink coffee late at night to keep you going, work till the small hours most mornings and convince yourself you only need a couple of hours of sleep anyway?

How is your daily behaviour influenced by outside sources…maybe a better way to ask that question is, how do you allow outside influences to control your behaviour? Yes, believe it or not, we can choose our moods, behaviours and attitude to any given situation or person. 

For this I would recommend you read a powerful little book by Viktor Frankl called “Man’s search for Meaning” in which he talks about the one thing nobody can take away from us, regardless of the situation we find ourselves in; Our right to choose, our right to choose our own attitude…and Viktor made this important observation during the 2nd World War when he was incarcerated in a German concentration camp.

Do you know the famous quote: 

”What happens around you or what happens to you, is not as important as, what happens within you.”

I hope you now have some idea that your daily behaviours, good or bad, can seriously influence your health as well as the wellbeing of the people around you.

One suggestion to really look into your own behaviours is, to make a simple list with 2 columns, one for positive behaviours, and one for negative behaviours. 

Then, as you go through your day, write down any of them you experience and why.

After a short period of time, you should have a fairly good overview and awareness of those behaviours, after which you need to sit down, evaluate honestly, and make some important decisions about any negative ones, especially those recurring ones. What will you do to work towards becoming less reactive to people and/or situations?

When you have decided and start to take action to get rid of those negative behaviours, which is a process that usually takes time, keep that daily list going. As you see the positive progress you are making, celebrate those successes as you will start to notice the benefits to your overall health.

Here is the link to my video about this subject: https://youtu.be/5QVHmrn-ymM

Jan Robberts

Behavioural Analysis Consultant and trainer.