"Your Covid is bigger than mine."

It’s the season for Singapore-bashing. First, the failing New York Times decided to whack us because some Singaporean yelled at some American for not wearing a mask. Now, the South China Morning Post publishes this article criticizing many aspects of our little island.

Entitled "Even with protests, recession and coronavirus, Hong Kong is a better bet than Singapore", it's written by Peter G de Krassel, a “strategic analyst” and blogger. This blogger argues that Singaporeans and expats should think about relocating to Hong Kong. He puts forward five world-class silly arguments.

First, he says that we have cramped dormitories for migrant workers in Singapore. But we all know that migrant workers are housed in equally bad, if not worse, conditions in Hong Kong. Frankly, Hong Kong doesn’t have the laws or infrastructure to house its own people, let alone migrant workers. Hong Kong is unique in having its poor living in tiny, wire cage home (these folks are called “cage men”). Generally, its treatment of migrant workers is nothing to write home about, and it's not a priority for the Hong Kong local government. I'm going to score this Singapore 1, Hong Kong 0.

Second, he says that Singapore has lots more virus cases than Hong Kong. But that’s because we have been vigorously testing migrant workers. Hong Kong doesn’t have a similar policy. In fact, it’s hard to know what Hong Kong’s testing policy is, and whether it is testing any migrant workers whatsoever. Singapore 2, Hong Kong 0.

Third, (and this is quite a laugh) he says that Hong Kong has elections for chief executive and legislators. But he doesn’t mention that the people of Hong Kong don’t get to choose their representatives: it’s all carefully pre-selected by Beijing.  He says Singapore has an “opaque political system” that allows the government to call snap elections. This "opaque political system" was in fact inherited from the UK, and applies in many other countries. Singaporeans have general elections at regular intervals, stipulated by statute. In the tradition of Parliamentary democracies, we vote for MPs and thereby pick our own Prime Minister. None of our leaders are pre-selected by Beijing or any other outside power. We Singaporeans get to make all our own laws. Hong Kong doesn't: for example, Beijing is able to impose a national security law on Hong Kong overnight. Singapore 3, Hong Kong 0.

Fourth, he says that while Hong Kong and Singapore are hammered by the US-China trade war, Singapore will suffer more because Singapore is over-reliant on global trade. On the other hand, Hong Kong will fare better because it relies mostly on China. This is an obviously poor argument because if Hong Kong is dependent on one country, whereas Singapore is more global, then our economy is more resilient. But because I am in a generous mood, I am willing to call this a draw. Singapore 3, Hong Kong 0.

Fifth, he says “Hongkongers fight to preserve their civic rights, something Singaporeans have never done”. Yes, I guess that when he talks about fighting, he means it literally, with bloodshed and death. I don’t think that is a plus point for Hong Kong. Singaporeans have our own ways of arguing for civic rights. We don’t riot in the streets with police and tear gas. We don’t vandalise MRT stations, or burn shops. If I am making an argument to expats to relocate from Singapore to Hong Kong, this really wouldn’t be my best argument. I’m going to call this Singapore 4, Hong Kong 0.

I’ve always adored Hong Kong. Its people are energetic. It has a lively film and music culture. They have nice weather sometimes. I would love to visit Hong Kong again. And yes, it has great dim sum (on the other hand, we have terrific prata and nasi lemak and chili crab and we will win on cuisine, so don't even go there).

So please, de Krassel, deal with your own insecurities privately. If you love Hong Kong, good for you. Why do you need to write an op-ed imploring people not to go specifically to Singapore? It smacks of a man telling his partner not to leave him for someone else, pleading, “But I’m taller! I have a bigger car! I quit smoking! I am working on my anger issues! So please don't leave me and especially don't go with Steve, cos he's not as nice as everyone always says. He has a dark side, you know. I've been keeping track of him. Not that I'm obsessed or anything."

There’s no need to try to do a takedown of an independent, successful country that has never done anything to you. And I’m really tired of articles saying “Your Covid is bigger than mine.”

Note: thanks to feedback from readers, I have made minor edits to correct typos and to make myself clearer. But I'm still going to score this 4-0, instead of 5-0, or even 4.5 to 0.5. Because we Singaporeans are magnanimous.