Your child and their school camp

So your child’s year group is about to go to school camp and they (or you) are not feeling too confident about it. But before you pull the pin and write the letter excusing them, I’d urge you to think about whether you will deny your child important opportunities. 

School camps are a significant rite of passage in a child’s school years. Getting out of the classroom and into nature provides important chances for them. They’ll develop different relationships with their teachers and peers and learn from the wonderful salt-of-the-earth people that run camps and outdoor experiences. 

Camp activities, such as ropes courses and bushwalking, teach children resourcefulness and teamwork. In my teaching days I saw many students who were shy in the classroom really blossom when camping. I also saw some bookish students gain new confidence when they attained physical accomplishments on camp. 

But increasingly I hear teachers lament that many children go through their entire school life without attending a school camp. This is not because of disability. The legislation ensures that every child should be able to attend school camp, and most schools put enormous effort into planning it all so the experiences remain safe and enjoyable for everyone.

Unfortunately, these days, many children are more likely to miss out because their parent allows them to miss it. The reason? Sometimes the child would prefer to stay with their parent, particularly if the home situation is extremely cushy. Sometimes the child lacks the skills their peers have acquired, because their parents have done too much for them. Teachers tell me that some children don’t know how to dress themselves or scrape their plate of remaining food in Year 5, because their parent has overhelped them.

Children should want to get away with their friends and their reluctance might mean you are making things too easy and pleasant for them at home. If they are catastrophizing about being away from the gaming device or TV, that’s probably a sign that they are not outdoors enough to realise the joys outside. Or they are being allowed too much time on screens. 

If they are extremely worried about being away from you for the night, it might mean that they are not developing sufficient independence. If so, you might need to deliberately set up some more situations where they aren’t in your company and praise them when they show such maturity.

But it is also important to consider your comfort in being away from your child for one or two nights. Teachers tell me some parents deliberately stay in a location close to the camp so they can keep an eye on their child, or ask the school if the child can just do day activities and then come to a warm bed and a parent hug that night. 

The year level timing of school camps is not at all a random thing. Schools decide when children should be emotionally ready to be away from their parents for a night or two and when they will get the most from being outdoors. If your child seems not ready to go to a camp that their peers are capable of attending, then I have to say it means that you need to look at your home situation and work out what you need to do to get your child back on track.

Scheduled school activities aren’t things you can pick and choose from. Great educational minds have developed a curriculum that helps develop your child socially, emotionally and academically. Missing any school activity may come at some cost to your child.

Takeaway for parents

Is your child worried about attending school camp?

·      Listen to their fears, name their emotion and normalise it – many children will be a little apprehensive.

·      Build their independence. Have them do more to get themselves ready to go to school and get ready for bed that night. 

·      Practice camp-like experiences. Sleep overnight in the backyard, with sleeping bags. Have them stay a night with a friend or family member to get used to being away from you. 

·      You could get psychological assistance. But remember therapy is not to excuse them from attending, it is to implement proven treatment that allows your child to attend the next school camp.

? Judith Locke

This column appeared in the Sunday Mail on 13.6.21. Subscribe to the Courier Mail to get access to my column every week. Find more sensible parenting advice in my book, The Bonsai Child: Why modern parenting limits children and practical strategies to turn it around  or, my latest book,  The Bonsai Student: Why Modern parenting limits children’s potential and practical strategies to turn it around  or have me come to your school to talk to parents and teachers about enhancing child resilience and wellbeing. Contact me here.