Is Your Boss Taking You For-Granted?

This happens a lot.

There are many circumstances and multiple reasons:

Your boss might be used to your stellar performance and doesn’t praise you as much as they used to. They might not understand what you do and exactly what you have to go through to make it happen. They might be intimidated by your abilities, view them as a potential threat, and consequently seek to inhibit your career growth. Might they think that they know best and ignore the value that you can bring to various situations?

There are always ways in which you can redress the balance:

Employees are taken for granted when their relationships are not strong – they can do their bit to make them closer. It is partly their fault if they do not speak up and defend their position – their boss may not be aware of the situation, or they may simply need a reminder of the employee’s value. If a manager steals your glory, their agenda is clear – next time ensure that your efforts are more visible with the wider team. If your boss doesn’t value your work, ask them for feedback and act on it – don’t sit there and let their negative opinions intensify. The employee should make every effort to inform their boss of their input – it is their job to help the employee optimize their performance, but they have to be aware of the details in the first place.

In the above couple of paragraphs, you may think that I have given the topic a rather cursory treatment. Surely there is more to the phenomenon than these 234 rather brief words. Well, yes, of course, there is, but in my view the next 314 words are more important, and, in particular, the next 4 words:

Why should you care?

Bear with me. For many of us, our childhoods were filled with “rewards” for good behavior - you felt worthy and secure when people praised you. This tends to dry up when you enter the “real world,” so it is so important to learn to value yourself and feel secure in your own ability.

What does praise from a boss give you apart from stroking your ego? Why should you let your energies be spent on seeking this recognition when they can be perfectly well spent elsewhere? In most organizations, the results of your activity will be visible enough for you to be in line for promotions and important projects. Why get all upset about not getting the praise that you think you “deserve.” 

Maybe you just need to learn to be content with yourself a little bit more? Try to take a step back and realize that your good deeds need to feel good to you. If you do things in order to be put on that “pedestal” by someone else for five minutes, maybe you need to rethink your priorities? Why do you need praise in order to feel loved?

If you do feel this way, you are not alone. Millions of us live our lives doing things that we think others expect of us in order to please them. It is somehow part of the human condition – we live to please.

Sometimes, I wish that we could learn to please ourselves that little bit more. Then we wouldn’t care so much what others think of us. If you live a good life and try your best to make a difference, the praise will come, but don’t live in anticipation of that pat on the back.

If you are confident in who you are and what you mean to others, that pat on the back doesn’t really matter.