Your Boss' Mindset Matters, But Not More Than This

LJS. LJS. LJS. LJS. LJS. LJS.

If you’re ever in a meeting with me and you catch me doodling those three letters in my notes, you can be 100 percent sure of one thing: Nicci has mentally left the building.

I love work. Always have. I have worked since I was 12 when my parents’ neighbors were insane enough to let me babysit. Their CHILDREN. Those people handed tiny humans they made over to a tween with braces. Sitting here as a mom now, I can’t imagine letting a pre-teen watch my puppy, let alone my baby. But they did and it worked out. I was good with their children and, on top of that, I made meals and cleaned up. Meanwhile, I learned about the importance of customer experience long before I even realized I had customers. I loved earning my own money, but I also loved it when the parents came home, elated to find a tidy kitchen and their children already tucked in for the night. So four years later, I was ready to level up. I turned 16 the day before Christmas and in January, I walked into a Long John Silver’s restaurant for my first real job interview.

I had no idea what to expect as I sat in that booth, waiting for the store manager. I was a bundle of nerves and excitement at the prospect of a real job. Sure, I was going to smell like hush puppies, fries and fried shrimp baskets at school, but I was going to have a real job. I was going to be making, like, $100. A WEEK. So when the manager sat down across from me at that greasy table, I smiled and sat up even straighter in my fingerprint-covered seat.

“So,” he started with a dramatic pause, as he stared over his glasses at my first job application. “Tell me why I should hire you.”

And that’s when it clicked. My nervousness vanished, right along with my engagement and excitement about the opportunity.

It was my first LJS (short for - you guessed it - Long John Silver’s) Mindset moment.*

I instinctively knew that manager’s approach was wrong and that I never wanted to work with or for him or anyone like him. Even at 16, I knew I mattered. I knew my contributions, collaborative spirit and work ethic were valuable. And, beyond that, I knew I was interviewing him just as much as he was interviewing me.

As it turns out, I’m a Xennial, which means I sit on the generational cusp between Gen-Xers and Millennials. Like other members of my microgeneration, I have qualities that tend to be attributed to both groups. My first job interview was arguably a Millennial moment and I’m grateful for it.

Since then, I have continued to refine my take on my career and my approach to work in general. It has led me to have a focus on people and culture that is rooted in experiences. I have always questioned policies and procedures that put people last - even when I wasn’t given permission to do so - because it's the right thing to do.

I fundamentally believe employees, customers and users are all “the boss” in different yet equally important ways and they deserve to be treated as such. One executive I know and love says she reports to the hundreds of employees who sit on her team. And she means it. She knows her success and the success of her company rests within her team, and she takes the time to get to know and truly support them. This understanding, empathy and recognition are the things that drive inclusion, engagement and innovation.

On the other end of the spectrum is the LJS Mindset. (At some point I’ll go into my theory behind why some leaders behave this way.) These leaders treat employees as if they are the lucky ones simply because they have jobs. Show me a leader with an LJS Mindset, and I’ll show you a leader who plays most of their employees small, pays most of their employees less than they are worth and generally stymies the growth of their people and ultimately their business.

When you work in an environment where the LJS Mindset is permitted - and thus promoted - it can lead to disastrous consequences for your emotional, physical, financial and career health.

You deserve and should be able to grow and expand in your career if that is what you desire and if you are willing to put in the effort. Search your heart to see if you’re forced to shrink yourself to fit in at work or if you have a leader who truly understands the care and feeding of a team. I’m not suggesting you pass up or quit jobs if that is not practical for you, especially during a time when joblessness is so painfully rampant. I know you have to do what you have to do. I certainly have had to grin and bear it more times than I can count.

But I encourage you to continue to seek a company culture where you are valued, challenged and nourished. Seek leaders who make an effort to see you and hear you. Are you tolerated or are you celebrated? What about the people around you? Even if you are The Chosen One for now, pay attention to the way your leader speaks about other people on your team and in your organization. If you can’t find a safe space at work, do your best to co-create one. Culture change is the hardest thing you will ever do, but it can be done and it has to start somewhere. Find ways to make a difference right where you are and band together with other employees who feel the same way you do and make change happen, even if it feels incremental. And, unfortunately, it will. Do it anyway.

I never went back to that Long John Silver’s. I did end up selling a different kind of Hushpuppies in the shoe section of a department store (remember those?) where I even earned commission, which was pretty awesome at 16.

So the next time you run into the LJS Mentality at work, try not to sweat it too much. Refocus, reset, doodle if it helps you get through the moment and remember when it's all said and done, your true power lies within your mentality and nothing matters more.

*Author's note: I tend to believe most people are mostly good and I would like to think most of the people at Long John Silver's today are lovely. I just didn't have a great hiring experience way, way, way back when.