Your Boss is Less Powerful Than You Think – So Why Do They Control You?
Sarah Berry
Professional Outplacement Support ? Job Hunting Strategies ? Career Transitions ? Executive Career Coaching & Mentoring ?
Ever had that sinking feeling when hear or see your boss? You feel tense. And there is a subtle shift in your posture. You may even start second-guessing what your boss is going to say.
Does this sound familiar?
Powerful bosses don’t need to shout. They don’t need to threaten. Their presence alone can control a room, and before you know it, you’re nodding along to things that make your stomach churn.
But here’s the truth: they’re not as powerful as they seem.
And once you see that, everything changes.
The Power of Control – And How You’re Being Played
A truly powerful boss doesn’t need to tell you outright what to do. They set the tone, the expectations, and - most dangerously - the limits of what is “acceptable.”
You find yourself staying late without even being asked. Taking on work that isn’t yours. Smiling and agreeing when deep down, you know something doesn’t sit right with you. You may even feel that you have to be ′Friends′.
And the worst part?
You start to believe that you have no choice.
But you do.????????????????
When Compliance Turns into Coercion
Let′s be clear, it starts off small. Can you do a favour here?? Can you stay late? ?You do something voluntarily even though deep down you know it isn’t something voluntary – you don′t really want to do it but you do.
Then the ASKS get bigger.
Sound familiar? These aren’t just casual phrases. They’re psychological tactics.
Before you know it, you’re trapped in an unwritten contract. Your silence. Your loyalty. Your discomfort. They all become part of the unspoken deal.
And once you're in, it feels impossible to break free.
The Truth About Power – It’s Not Just About Them
Here’s the kicker. The more you comply, the smaller you feel. And the smaller you feel, the easier you are to control.
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So how do you stop the cycle?
1. Recognise When You’re Being Manipulated
Pay attention to how you feel after conversations with your boss. Drained? Uneasy? Pressured? Those aren’t signs of a healthy working relationship. They’re warning signals.
2. Set Boundaries – And Stick to Them
If your boss asks for something unreasonable, pause. Don’t rush to say yes. Instead, try:
It’s not about saying no outright. It’s about making it clear that you’re not just a puppet on a string.
3. Stop Apologising for Having Limits
If you’ve been conditioned to always say “yes,” setting boundaries will feel uncomfortable. You might even feel guilty. But guilt is a trap. It’s a tool used to keep you compliant. Don’t fall for it.
4. Find Allies
Powerful bosses thrive on isolation. They want you to feel alone. That way, you won’t push back. Find others who feel the same way. Share experiences. Strength in numbers isn’t just a cliché - it’s a survival strategy.
5. Plan Your Exit Strategy
If your workplace is toxic, hoping for change isn’t a strategy - it’s a slow death sentence.
Know your options. Start making moves before you’re pushed into a corner. Because if you wait until things are unbearable, you’ll be making decisions from a place of FEAR rather than POWER.
Your Power Isn’t Gone – You Just Need to Take It Back
If your boss is making you feel small, there is a way out. And it starts with taking control of your situation - before they take even more control over you.
Want to talk? Let’s go beyond generic advice and focus on your situation.
Message me in confidence, and let’s build a strategy that puts you back in the driver’s seat.
Click here to book a call straight away