Your biggest Leadership Challenge might be... YOU! And here's WHY.

Have you ever had an out of body experience, where you watch Yourself in dismay/shock? Like it’s not you!?Well, that’s exactly what happened to me recently!?

Ross (H) and I joined a “Music Returners” group. We both play traditional Irish music, so joining a group of like-minded people seemed like a great idea,?but I’m a little different to him. He has only taken up playing in very recent years, I, on the other hand, was brought up on a diet of traditional music and dance. As one does, I left it to one side for many years and only took up my instrument occasionally, suffice to say, I know lots of tunes, performed at competitions, played in music sessions, learn by ear - I’m able to “hold my own”.?

Fast forward to the kick off of our “Music Returners” group. The tutor arrived and “pounced on us” to play a tune solo. I can’t say for sure what exactly happened to me, but...

• My ability to recall a tune, any tune – vanished.?
• My ability to connect my brain to my instrument – vanished.?
• My ability to connect fingers to a tune – vanished.?

And when everything eventually connected, I started one tune?with such speed, I couldn't even keep up and ended in another – and not on purpose! Let’s just say, a musical car crash springs to mind!?

At the time, I had a mixture of mortification,?shame, frustration and a bit of sadness thrown in for good measure. It was hours later I had to pull myself out of the shame spiral (à la Brené Brown). I was reminded (thankfully) of the practice of?Mindful-Self-Compassion. It has three key parts, each step helping to treat ourselves better when we find ourselves in these situations.?Here they are:

1. Remember You’re Not Alone “Common Humanity”

Feeling like you’re the only one struggling can be isolating, but the truth is, everyone faces challenges. Recognizing this helps you feel more connected to others. In my case, everyone gets stage fright!?

2. Be Kind to Yourself?

Instead of criticizing yourself when things go wrong, try being understanding and gentle. Everyone makes mistakes, and being kind to yourself can reduce stress and frustration?i.e. how would I speak to a friend in a similar situation?

3. Stay Balanced?

Notice your negative feelings without ignoring or blowing them out of proportion. Accept them as they are without letting them take over, this helps you stay calm and clear-headed?i.e. asking myself "what's here now?" I've nothing to fix.

So next time, when your leadership journey (or life ) hits a crash – think of these three powerful steps as opposed to beating yourself up and entering that shame spiral.?

These steps make it easier to manage tough times with compassion and I really believe, helps build emotional resilience.?

As for my “Music Returners”, we’re still having plenty of musical crashes, it’s thriving and most of all the fun continues!?

Thank you for reading.

Olivia MacDonnell

Founder, Confident Speak

Much of my work with clients involves delving into the heart of Mindful Self Compassion. We can often be our own worst critics. Beating ourselves up when things don't go to plan.?

There is something far more powerful when we lead with self-compassion both professionally and personally.?

If you're curious to understand more about working together, you know where to find me!

Join me for a special LinkedIn Audio Event on November 28th!?

It will be a conversation focused on how to connect with confidence and ensure your message resonates. There will be plenty of time at the end for a Q&A.

Read all about the experience of our valued?customers?at Confident Speak.

I’m taking a little Christmas break to Bordeaux this month - so that’s what's on the desk! Research itinerary! Trying to combine relaxing with exploring - which never quite works for me!

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