What I Learned in Africa: Our Biggest Fear Carries Our Greatest Growth

If we’re not changing, we’re not growing. If we’re not growing, we’re dying.

We are the people we are because of our experiences, small or big, tough or easy, fleeting or lasting. It is with these experiences that we change and grow. And those experiences that take us beyond our comfort zone, like situations we deeply fear, create our biggest growth opportunities. It could be fear of being judged, alienated, rejected, disappointed; fear of making a mistake, losing your job, destroying your reputation, failing, dying; and all sorts of other fears.

Ironically, fear paralyzes us to the point where we end up not doing anything or doing what we’ve always done and known.

Not doing anything or simply doing the same old thing can become a self-fulfilling prophecy of our fears.

Particularly in this age of digital transformation, our biggest risk is doing nothing. We can’t innovate in our comfort zone. As they say, "Innovate or die." And when we need people and the business to evolve, how we led people to get us to where we are today won’t get us to where we need to be tomorrow. (Also check out my related article on Leading a Digital Business: What Wasn’t OK is now a Must! )

We need to lead fearlessly to inspire others to follow and become leaders themselves.

We can conquer fear consciously or subconsciously. We each have our own examples of how we've done that and how we've changed as a result. I’d like to share with you a story of what was an adventure of a lifetime for me. What I got out of it was far greater than what I expected, making an indelible impact on me personally and professionally.

My Journey in Africa

For a month in 1999, I traveled solo in Africa and then later joined a small Tusker Trail safari group with other solo travelers and couples from all over the US. We mostly roughed it in the bush, camped in tents, dug and used latrines, boiled water to purify it, washed clothes in the river, doused in DEET, and popped our daily dose of malaria pills. I spent just as much time engaging with the locals as I did enjoying the wilderness and its wondrous creatures, sleeping under the stars and waking up with the sun, without a watch or mobile phone (certainly no smartphone yet in those days).

By design, I wanted a solo adventure to push my boundaries. Back then, I was young and better equipped to conquer my fears. In other words, naive and stupid, in some cases ;-) So it wasn’t until later, as I’ve become more introspective in my older age, that I came to appreciate it for more than just a thrilling adventure.

Ask, Listen, and Learn

I loved traveling solo in countries where people speak different languages. It took me beyond my comfort zone but I learned most about myself and the locals. It’s amazing how far one can go with hand gestures, facial expressions, sounds, and a small translation dictionary. I was forced to interact with the people all the time--to eat, find the nearest bathroom, get recommendations for things to see and do, work my way around the city, and make friends. Again, no Waze, Google Maps, Yelp, or Google Translate yet, just me and the African people.

In a black township in Cape Town, South Africa, the locals graciously gave me a tour of their neighborhood, shared stories about key historical places and moments during apartheid, and showed me how they make natural medicine using herbs, dried rats, and the all-powerful baboon skeleton at a makeshift pharmacy. They even let me taste homemade beer. Remnants of apartheid still abound as I felt immediate sharp contrasts going from a white neighborhood with opulent homes to tin shacks where blacks lived just across the street. Everyone had a story and I learned, saw, and experienced so much more talking with the people. The children were funny. The easiest way to make them smile was to take their photo. Oh, how they posed and flashed those pearly whites for the camera!

How often have we found it more comfortable to do things ourselves, relying on our own knowledge and perspectives rather than asking, listening, and learning from others, particularly those who have different opinions from ours? We fear that we might be wrong and be judged by others for being wrong. In the business world, disagreements and misalignment often stem from the lack of understanding of each other's unique perspectives and motivations. As many of us know, when we make ourselves vulnerable and reach out to others, more often than not, others show genuine appreciation for our efforts, richer ideas flourish, collaboration and alignment come naturally, and better execution ensues. In a previous article that I wrote, I discussed in more detail how we can save organizations from strategic misalignment.

Appreciate Differences and the Unknown

I met men, women and children of the Maasai tribe in the Great Rift Valley in Tanzania. Before this meeting, I had only seen pictures of them in their bright red robes against their deep black skin, colorful ornate jewelry, and long fighting sticks on National Geographic. So I was a bit awestruck and, at the same time, apprehensive to interact with them. The children curiously touched my skin and asked me, “Mzungu (white person)?” They had never seen an Asian person before. They had only seen black and white and I am neither. I remember the children and me looking at each other in wonder and amazement as if we had just seen purple beings from another planet. Without saying a single intelligible word, we all smiled and laughed at the situation in which we found ourselves!

In Zanzibar, I laughed with adorable preschoolers as we tried to understand each other. I taught them some English words and they taught me how to count in Swahili. They giggled when I said, “Hakuna matata!” Thanks to The Lion King, as you can tell, I used everything in my arsenal to break the ice and keep the conversation fun for the kids.

I conquered my fear of the unknown and my fear that they would reject me because I’m different. Instead, I replaced fear of the unknown with curiosity. I found myself enjoying their company and truly immersing myself in the experience.

In business, think about what we could be missing and passing up because we fear the unknown. As Sydney Brenner (South African biologist and Nobel prize winner for physiology or medicine) said, “Innovation comes only from the assault of the unknown.” With every single innovation, from the design of ancient architectures and engineering feats to the integration of artificial intelligence in various industries, we can thank the many innovators who conquered their fear of the unknown.

Innovation comes only from the assault of the unknown.

In this day and age, we should be less fearful of the unknown because there’s greater tolerance for failure, especially fast failure in this age of digital transformation. The faster we fail, the faster we uncover the unknown. The faster we learn, the faster we succeed.

The Journey is Just as Important as the Destination

Two things you should know about me: I can’t swim and I’m petrified of heights.

In Zambia, I got in over my head (literally, when the raft flipped over and the guide pulled me back in) when I rafted down the formidable Zambezi River. I told the guide that I can’t swim. He laughed and said, “Too late! Swimming can’t help you in these rapids anyway.” So he sang songs and told jokes to allay my fears as he rowed giant oars and expertly navigated our raft down the raging waters with baby crocs. (I only saw baby ones. But where there were babies, I’m sure there were big ones close by.) I suppose the sight of world-class and Olympic kayakers on either side of our raft also gave me this false sense of security.

For 18 rapids including Class 5 rapids named Stairway to Heaven, Commercial Suicide, and Oblivion, I laughed, cried, screamed, baked in the sun, swallowed river water, looked like a drowned rat, and crouched down and held on for dear life when our guide yelled, "Positions!" as we approached each rapid. I simultaneously wanted all of it to end and not end. But never did it enter my mind that I would bail and walk back, even when our guide gave us the option. I still have my Zambezi rafting t-shirt to remind me that I dominated what many consider the "wildest one-day white water rafting trip in the world " and overcame my fears!

Later that day, I honestly don’t know what compelled me to go on a microlight flight over Victoria Falls, the largest waterfall in the world, with Zambia to the north and Zimbabwe to the south. I had this burning desire to do it and even my intense fear of heights wasn’t going to stop me. I broke out into a full-body sweat as we took off in this open-air vehicle with a little engine and propeller, a few metal rods, a couple of plastic seats, and something that resembled a gigantic kite. I was sitting there with no parachute and a bike helmet. After screaming for what felt like forever and blowing out the pilot’s eardrums as we climbed, peace and serenity overcame me as we glided across the mighty and thundering Victoria Falls and followed a migrating herd of elephants from above. No fear whatsoever, just pure exhilaration and deep appreciation for the spectacular, heaven-on-earth experience. I learned a lot about distress, perseverance, and triumph that day.

Conquering my fears didn’t stop there. We had close encounters with majestic beasts and wildlife, sometimes a little too close for comfort with only the tent cover, thin metal of the canoe, or the safari jeep’s glass window between us and a hyena, hippo, and elephant. All survival instincts including utmost patience, utter silence and stillness, incredible courage, fast thinking and action, teamwork, and enormous amounts of positive energy came into play.

There are only two things we can control in life: our attitude and our actions. As we go through the journey, despite our fears and struggles, we can choose to go through it the best way we can and with the best possible mindset. The alternative, choosing to let it bring out the worst in us, isn’t much fun so why bother with it. A positive mind sees opportunity in everything. And a positive attitude leads to positive outcomes.

A positive attitude is contagious. Don't wait to catch it, be a carrier.

Break Down Filters and Biases

We met an African fortune teller and healer, his family, and the villagers in Malawi. He offered to do a traditional African wedding for one of the married couples in our safari group so that they could renew their vows. What an experience to be part of that ceremony with all the villagers singing, chanting, and dancing with us along the shores of Lake Malawi as the sun set!

One lovely woman even trusted me to carry her infant boy when I asked her how her baby carrier works. These people were incredibly generous, kind, and hospitable. Not one expected anything in return. No one had ulterior motives. They simply wanted to share with us their culture and a special African experience in the village.

Our increasingly divided world places a bigger spotlight on filters and biases based on differences—race, gender, age, religion, national origin, socio-economic status, political affiliation, sexual orientation, disability, and more. These filters create fear and even hate among people. Although we can’t control the filters that others choose when they look at us, we can control the filters that we put on others. When we break down our biases, we have a better shot at helping others break down theirs.

When we allow ourselves to not fear and look at people as equals, we free ourselves to consider differing points of view, debate openly, collaborate and solve problems together, and innovate better than we’ve ever had before. Moreover, it allows us to lead generously--abundantly giving ourselves so that others may be and do their best.

Fear is nothing more than an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. There is no greater illusion than fear. Fear not and grow!

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