Be Your Best When Others Give Their Worst

As healthcare professionals, we face all kinds of situations. Most of the time, we help patients and families through difficult moments with compassion and care. Then we encounter someone who gives us their absolute worst, angry words, disrespectful behavior, or even physical aggression. They have lost coping skills.? They are scared, frustrated, angry, and just outright have lost all hoper

In those moments, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or even ready to fight back. But it’s precisely at those times when we need to rise above and give them our best. This is not just about keeping the peace; it’s about staying true to who we are, protecting our integrity, and ensuring the safety and well-being of everyone around us.

"Professionalism is not about being perfect—it’s about being able to give them the best of us, even when things get tough."

Why Staying Professional Matters

In healthcare, your actions affect more than just you. How you respond in tough situations can set the tone for everything that follows. When emotions run high, patients and family members are watching, your coworkers are watching, and most importantly, your response can either non-escalate or escalate the situation.

Here’s what staying professional means:

• Protecting yourself and others: Your response can either create safety or invite further conflict.
• Modeling good behavior: Others will follow your lead when you respond with professionalism and control.
• Maintaining trust: Patients, families, and coworkers trust you more when you handle challenges with grace, and save their face.?

In high-stress environments, professionalism is not just a skill—it’s a responsibility.

Understanding Why People Give You Their Worst

When someone behaves aggressively, it’s usually a sign of something deeper. Their frustration or anger might not be directed at you. Sometimes, they feel powerless, scared, or out of control—and they lash out because they don’t know how else to respond. Sometimes I have seen that getting it out is safer for some than holding it in.

Here are common reasons people act out:

• Fear: Illness or injury makes people feel vulnerable.
• Loss of control: In hospital settings, patients may feel like they’ve lost control over their lives.
• Misunderstanding: Poor communication can easily lead to frustration.

When understanding the reason behind someone’s behavior, it becomes easier to respond with empathy rather than frustration.

Five Steps to Staying Professional

1. Control Your Reaction: ?The first step in maintaining professionalism is controlling your reaction, and responding to the situation not reacting to it.? It’s easy to match someone’s negative energy with your own and make things worse. Take a deep breath, stay focused, and remember that you’re only in control of yourself, and no one else. Tip: Practice deep breathing or use a mental mantra like, “I got this, I can do this. Stay in control.” This can help you refocus in high-stress moments.
2. Create Space: Physical distance is important when someone is angry or upset. Give them space to help them orientate what is happening while keeping yourself safe. If the situation feels unsafe, remove yourself and get help. Example: If a patient becomes aggressive, taking a step back and positioning yourself near an exit can help. Maintain a respectful tone while encouraging them to take a breath and explain their concerns.
3. Use Non-Escalation and De-Escalation Techniques: Effective communication is your greatest tool in managing difficult situations. Start with non-escalation techniques to prevent situations from getting worse. If things have already escalated, use de-escalation strategies. When practicing non-escalation, the goal is to prevent situations from escalating in the first place. Keep your tone calm and steady, as your voice sets the emotional tone for the interaction. A professional tone can help reduce tension and encourage cooperation. Avoid blaming or judgmental language, which can quickly escalate emotions and put the other person on the defensive. Instead, focus on neutral, solution-oriented words that promote understanding. Your body language also plays a key role—keep an open posture by relaxing your arms at your sides, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding defensive gestures like crossing your arms or pointing. These small adjustments can create a safer, more approachable atmosphere and help diffuse potential conflicts before they begin.
4. De-Escalation Tips: When dealing with a frustrated individual, it's important to first acknowledge their feelings by saying something like, "I can see this is frustrating for you." This helps them feel heard and validated. Once you’ve done that, offer options when appropriate, such as, "Let’s figure out how we can address this together," showing that you’re willing to work toward a resolution. Finally, give them the time to process what is happening before continuing the conversation, ensuring that both parties can engage in a productive discussion.
5. Focus on What You Can Manage: You can’t control how someone else behaves, but you always have control over your response. In difficult situations, choose to be the steady presence in the storm. Remind yourself that their behavior is a reflection of what they’re going through, not a reflection of you. By staying grounded and focusing on how you respond, you can help defuse tense moments and maintain a sense of control in the situation.

Remember the person controls the outcome you manage the process. Mentally detach yourself from the situation for a moment. Try saying, “This isn’t about me; I’m here to help.” This small mental shift can keep you grounded.

Know When to Step Away: Sometimes walking away is the best option. If someone continues to escalate or the situation becomes unsafe, it’s okay to remove yourself and call for assistance. Staying in control also means knowing when to ask for help.

Staying Motivated in Tough Times

We all have days when it feels like too much. You might leave a shift feeling drained or questioning why you keep going. But those tough days don’t define you. Your dedication, your ability to rise above, and your willingness to give your best even when others give their worst that’s, what make you a true professional.

Remember why you chose this profession in the first place. Remember the lives you’ve touched and the people you’ve helped. Every challenge you face is an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to strengthen your resolve.

"The strongest people are not those who show strength in moments of comfort but those who remain controlled in moments of chaos."

Final Thoughts: Be Your Best Every Time

In healthcare, there will always be tough situations. People will get angry, scared, and frustrated. They will say and do things that seem unfair. It is how you respond in those moments is what matters most.

Being your best when others give you their worst isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. Every time you choose to stay composed, maintain control, and rise above the situation, you’re not just protecting yourself—you’re protecting your team, your patients, and the integrity of your profession.

You’re stronger than you think. You’re more capable than you realize. Stay professional, stay calm, and stay true to yourself. You’ve got this.

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