Your Best, "Most Right" Fear
Barry Lewis Green
Educator, Speaker, Coach, Writer, Creator ... advancing Character Leadership and Education ... to move forward together, stronger ... engaging change.
Happy Hallowe'en. I hope you enjoy. It sure is a day with history. And, it is not all about the fearful. That being said, Jenny and I have been writing on fear this month, with our last post just this week on Fear: The End?
For me as a Baha'i, we just honored the twin birthdays of the Bab and Baha'u'llah... on the Baha'i Holy Days Calendar. As Rainn Wilson describes, I too have my own way of seeing the world. Our own independent investigation of life and truth demands that. That being said, I am glad that I took this month to consider on fear. I am glad that we took the time to explore fear and the character and Accountability to walk with it.
We did so in:
- Introducing Fear
- Fear as Friend?
- The broadCAST? for October 2019, and
- Using Fear
- Fear and the Track Record, and
- Fear: The End?
As Hallowe'en unfolds and ends, and brings October to a close... here are my closing thoughts (at least for now).
Fear is Two Friends.
- Fear is the friend who protects us from things of which we should have a healthy fear. It keeps us with a healthy vigilance.
- Fear is the other friend that challenges us to win it over, daring us to discover our best selves in the face of that challenge.
Recognizing and distinguishing these two different friends is important. Sitting down and profiling both might be valuable.
Fear is Our Teacher.
- That which we fear in our worst nightmares (in the dreaming or living worlds) tells us what we most love and desire on the other side. It begs us to value that which staves off that fear. It gives us greater clarity on going Hell Yeah!
Fear of Loss and the Path to the Darkside.
- Listen to Yoda. Attachment constrains and chains us. Detachment free us.
Detachment Matters
Detachment is not simply letting go. It is about knowing what is truly real and is not. The Buddha said, "A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, therefore he escapes the suffering." Then there is this...
- "Detachment does not consist in setting fire to one’s house, or becoming bankrupt or throwing one’s fortune out of the window, or even giving away all of one’s possessions. Detachment consists in refraining from letting our possessions possess us." – Abdu’l-Baha
The "Right" Fear Matters
My final thought, for now, on fear... is about the "right" fear. The right fear is that one that engages a powerful sense of regret. What do I mean?
I have lived a life where there have been moments that I listened to my Soul and moments when I did not.
#bestlittledogintheworld Panda listens to her own always. I need follow that example.
There have been times of decision where I ignored that still, small voice inside for fear of stepping out of conformity or for disappointing or even hurting others. In the end, the disappointment and hurt still came, only delayed by the ill advised accommodations and yielding to unwise voices in my head. There have been times of decision where I did not listen to that scream in a whisper that said "take the leap" and an opportunity passed; and regret visited.
There have been moments in my life when I did listen to messages of both "no" and "yes" that were both right, and I am so very glad I did. Just this morning, without too much detail, I found myself in a situation of some stress and sensed that little voice saying "do not worry, trust us"... I did and it was wise to do so. As I look back on my life, there is empirical evidence mounting as to the importance of that voice and listening to it, in the face of fear.
The "right" fear is the fear of not living up to our best being, our Nobility.
My dearest "soul sis", and writer of The Realm Between, has suggested to me that she imagines that we all, upon leaving this Realm, sit with Something we call God, viewing the movie of our life, and we get to critique it with Honesty and Courage.
WE get to do that; together. My own deepest and truest fear is not liking the movie. Actually, it is more about not loving it.
My deepest fear is not about failure in this world; it is not feeling like I lived in this world. It is about not feeling like I best served this life and world; that I did not hold myself truly responsible for living my best life.
For me, my best life is the undying practice of the virtues; all of them. That is not about prefection, but about perfecting. The former is destination. The latter is journey. The former is myth. The latter is reality.
I believe and contend that these virtues are what we take with us; and the only thing. That which we develop, we take. That which we don't, we don't take. We go to the next Realm big or small and that is not a notion of ego. The virtues are our powers and capacities in the next Realm just as our fingers, toes and other marvels of the body are our powers in this, though we knew it not while still in the womb. In the womb, we had no need for such body parts, yet we developed them only to find their need once we entered this world. Thus are the powers of the virtues developed here, for later.
Those virtues range from Joyfulness, Cheerfulness and Contentment to Fortitude, Forbearance and Strength to Love, Caring and Compassion and everything "in between".
I think my "right fear" is the fear of not sharpening the blades and working on being the best human BEing. No, I know it. Working with what I have, growing as best I can; that is my deepest hope. Not trying my level best is my deepest fear. My "right fear" is about not being the best Barry I can be. My best "right fear" is about not being able to sit with whatever God might be and thoroughly and humbly enjoying that movie of my life.
That is my best "right fear". That is my best friend and teacher. No amount of popularity can replace that. No amount of money nor fame can compare. The only measuring stick is that movie, and I get to direct it. God produces, I direct. The movie is world embracing. The vision for the movie is such. I see myself as Terran, a world citizen, in that movie. I see myself as a contributing force for a better world, in that movie. I see myself living my own best sense of personal mission and not going through some contrived set of motions; in that movie. I see myself not as famous nor rich, but as Barry doing what I do, serving how I can best serve, living how I best can. And, I don't want that movie to bomb.
There is a writing from Baha'u'llah that says, "Noble have I created thee, yet thou hast abased thyself. Rise then unto that for which thou wast created." I suggest that you read that replacing your name for "thee" and "thou", and replacing "thyself" with "himself", "herself" or "themselves". For me, this becomes...
- Noble have I created Barry, yet Barry has abased himself. Rise then unto that for which Barry wast created.
Fear is a powerful thing. It need not be our enemy. Let the good fears keep you safe. Let the challenging fears demanding that you rise to them... be just that; and rise to them. But know your best and "most right" fear. Your "most right" fear; name it, claim it, ride with it. Take that necessary time right now to get certain on it.
Name it. Claim it. Ride with it. I am learning to ride with mine.
It knows what my Soul craves.
It knows what matters most.
Let the movie begin again. There are many parts yet unwritten.
Peace, passion and prosperity...
Barry Lewis Green, aka The Unity Guy with Epic Engage
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