Your Attitude: Sarcastic or Sacred?
We have all been victims of a sarcastic jab. On the other side we have all at some time in our lives used sarcasm in our conversations.
What is Sarcasm?
So what is sarcasm? The Greek meaning of the word sarcasm is “to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer.” Merriam-Webster definition is “a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.”
The synonyms for the word are “affront, barb, cut, dart, dig, diss, epithet, gird, indignity, poke, put-down, insult, slap, slight, and slur”.
Sarcasm is a painful word because it causes pain. One author describes sarcasm like a bee sting. When a bee stings, the direct hit of poison causes immediate pain and inflammation. Sarcasm is a sting that lasts and causes discomfort long after its sting.
Where do we see sarcasm in the bible?
Where do we find sarcasm in the bible? It is in found in the words “mocker, scoffer or scorner’. Solomon wrote, “The proud and arrogant person—‘Mocker’ is his name— behaves with insolent fury” (Proverbs 21:24).
The Hebrew word for mocker means, “to scorn, make mouths at, talk arrogantly, to boast, to mock, deride, be inflated, scoff, act as a scorner, and shows oneself a mocker”.
In the New Testament the word means: scoffer, mocker or derider, which is used primarily to describe false teachers in the church (I Peter 3:3; Jude 1:18).
Sarcasm in the Work Place
There are strong opinions on the use of sarcasm in the workplace. Skip Weisman writes, “Sarcasm is a passive aggressive communication habit that undermines trust between individuals and trust is at the core of one’s ability to get things done in organizations. Sarcasm offers just 2 outcomes – it either instantly kills the relationship or it begins to slowly erode the relationship.” He continues, “There is no positive upside to using sarcasm. It offers only short-term positive impact for the sarcastic person whose ego may get a boost by putting others down in this manner.”
Yet in a recent research project on sarcasm conducted by the business schools at Harvard, Columbia and the European school INSEAD, cites that in certain conditions sarcasm can boost the creativity of a team. According to the researchers, shooting out a sarcastic comment can boost creativity in the person receiving it as well as the one firing it, because it pushes the person to think abstractly as they try to figure out what is really being said. And yet the caution is that this only works in trusting relationships. Using sarcasm in new relationships or among acquaintances can be very detrimental by eroding trust and undermining the creditability of the person using it.
Sarcasm in the Church
Sarcasm in the church can be very counter-productive and confusing. The church is to be a place of healing, safety and respect, whether in a small group, ministry team or leadership setting. People are looking for words of affirmation and are seeking to be built up in their faith. No one is ever affirmed by sarcasm, it cuts people and where people experience pain they will seek to avoid those relationships. Solomon wrote, “If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer” (Proverbs 9:12 NIV).
How Do We Temper Sarcasm in Our Lives
The Apostle Peter in his first letter to the suffering and scattered followers of Jesus through out Asia Minor speaks directly about their thought lives and calls them to a high level of relating with each other.
“Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy’” (I Peter 1:13-16).
Five Truths for Moving from the Sarcastic to the Sacred
1. Be ready to think on your feet.
Peter writes, “Therefore, with minds that are alert…”(vs13). One of the older translations says, “Wherefore,gird up the loins of your mind”. The picture here is of the men in Peter’s day who wore loose flowing robes called tunics and within a few quick moves they could bind up those garments so that they could be ready to work, run or even to fight in a matter of moments. All to often sarcasm comes out of a self-protective reaction in the midst of a conversation. Peter calls us to think on your feet, to respond appropriately instead of reacting harshly or painfully with sarcasm.
2. Be in command of your emotions.
Peter continues by calling those who are suffering for Jesus to be “fully sober” (vs. 13). This word means: “to reign in your passions”. It is interesting that this is in the context of believers suffering for their faith. We all find it hard to reign in our emotions when we experience pressure, pain or extreme discomfort and yet we are called through the power of the gospel to be sober minded. This is one of the qualities of leaders in the local church (I Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:8). We see this also as a quality to be seen in older men in the church (Titus 2:2). When leaders and older men, habitually use sarcasm in their conversations they erode their ability to lead the congregation or influence young men because they are not taken seriously. If some one walks away from a leader saying, “What did they really mean?” If people are suspect of your words the will never trust your leadership. Remember sarcasm creates suspicion not trust! Sarcasm also tends to stirs things up while wisdom calms things down. Solomon wrote, “Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger” (Proverbs 29:8).
3. Be secure in your future.
A secure mind is a sacred mind. An insecure mind is a sarcastic mind. Peter calls his readers to rise above their circumstances, the suffering they are experiencing and the false teaching they are encountering on a daily basis. He writes, “set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.” (vs.13). When he writes, “set your hope on” he is speaking of a mindset that is filled with confidence in the promises of God, this is not ‘a hope so’ or ‘wish for’ but ‘a heavenly confidence’ in the gospel, in the grace of God and in the promise of Christ return. This world is not our home, what we are experiencing in this moment is temporary so don’t let our circumstances reduce us to painful speech, hurting others and hurting ourselves by missing out on the promises of God. The book of Hebrews we find these words, “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised” (Hebrews 10:35-36).
4. Be willing to reject your past and embrace transformation.
It is all to often that we make excuses for our sarcastic attitudes. That’s the way I was raised! This is just part of my generation! It really does not hurt people! Peter does not let this happen, he calls towards obedience and transformation. He writes, “As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance …” (vs. 14). Why would we choose to live in the ignorance that God saved us from? Why would we allow ourselves to be ruled by the base patterns of our former lives? When God in His mercy endowed us with a new identity, a new purpose and a new power for living this life. Earlier Peter wrote, “In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…” (I Peter 1:3).
5. Learn to think, speak and act more like God.
Sarcasm comes from a dark place in our souls. It represents the worst of humanity not the best. John Haiman, a linguist at Macalester College in St. Paul, Minn., says people who use sarcasm are rarely just kidding. The words come from an authentic place, but it’s wrapped up as a joke for protection. Essentially, sarcasm is a survival technique for the insecure. It’s used to make yourself appear to be stronger or better, but it’s not said with enough seriousness for anyone to accuse you of being a jerk.
Peter exhorts us to a higher calling, “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy’” (vs. 15-16). It is interesting that phrase “in all you do” comes from the word for “conversation” which Peter uses eight times in his writings (1 Peter 1:15, 18, 2:12, 3:1-2, 3:16; 2 Peter 2:7, 3:11). Remember our thoughts, words and behaviors are creating a conversation. How we carry ourselves in this world communicates whom we belong to and what is going on his our hearts as well as our heads. Tyler Huckabee wrote, “Show me a sarcastic person, and I will show you a wounded person. And I can tell you where their wound is too.”
In quoting the Old Testament command “Be holy, because I am holy” Peter reflects a foundational truth that was taught by Moses (Leviticus 11:44; 19:2: 20:7), proclaimed by the prophets (Micah 4:5), reinforced by Jesus (Matthew 5:48) and exhorted by his apostles (Romans 12:1; I Corinthians 6:19) which is “those who profess to know God should reflect the qualities of God in their thoughts, speech and actions.”
Conclusion
Will we be absolutely free from sarcasm? Will we never make another sarcastic comment? No! We will wrestle with it on various levels as long as we live in this world. But I hope this study will give us a greater awareness of the pain sarcasm causes and deeper appreciation of the power within the gospel to carry on conversations that reflect the beauty of the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Reflective Questions
- When was the last time you were stung by sarcasm? How did you handle it?
- When was the last time you made a sarcastic statement? How was it received?
- What is the prerequisite for using sarcasm positively?
- How can the use of sarcasm diminish ones leadership or influence?
- Do you agree with the statement “Essentially, sarcasm is a survival technique for the insecure”?
Additional Materials