Young women struggling? You are not alone. My story on World Mental Health Day.

Young women struggling? You are not alone. My story on World Mental Health Day.

It was September 1982, a time of profound change - socially, culturally, and personally for me as a young woman. I was at the onset of my adult life, uncertain about where I belonged or where I wanted to belong. Helmut Kohl came to power. Economic changes such as reduced working hours and mass layoffs led to 2 million unemployed. Our discussions revolved around fundamental issues, with the peace question taking center stage. During that summer, more than 300,000 people demonstrated in Bonn against the arms race and the armaments policy of NATO and the United States. A new political party, DIE GRüNEN (the Greens), had been founded two years ago, infusing the political landscape with a fresh and provocative atmosphere.

And there was a 20-year-old bank employee named Gerda-Marie. Hailing from a small Eifel village, she found herself at the Rhine Clinic Bad Honnef, a treatment center for psychosomatic medicine and psychotherapy. In the end, she stayed there for four months. Those months changed her life fundamentally. Her journey had started a year earlier.

A Health Mystery Unraveled

The young woman fell to the ground in public, her body shook, she hyperventilated. A splitting headache. Concerned passersby rushed to help, and soothing words could quickly end these episodes. However, matters escalated when emergency medical personnel arrived, and she resisted their touch. This only intensified the helpers' efforts. More than once she found herself hospitalized and sedated with Valium. Sometimes the headaches came without a seizure, bringing her to her knees. She feared this condition would persist throughout her life, preventing her from holding down a job.

After thorough examinations, the doctors delivered an unexpected diagnosis: Gerda-Marie was physically healthy with no psychiatric issues. While this was a relief, it also raised the question of what was causing her symptoms. An empathetic female doctor suggested she take a break at a psychosomatic clinic to regain her equilibrium, and Gerda-Marie agreed.

Seeking Help and Healing

During those four months at the Rhine Clinic, she embarked on a journey to fight for her identity. Her story is not unusual: adjustment disorder was the diagnosis. Looking back, whatever it was I suffered from turned out to be a stroke of luck. My body had unmistakably signaled that something was wrong in my life, and the clinic provided a supportive environment for me to explore myself.

The year before, I had moved from my small village to a nearby town, sharing an apartment with college students, which was unconventional at that time. I was pursuing an apprenticeship at a bank and thought I had escaped a family situation that felt confining and life in a small village.

But who was this young woman? Throughout my life, I had been placed into roles that I was not sure whether I truly wanted to inhabit them.

In my village, I was Josef and Marga's daughter. At school, I was the amiable nerd. To my parents, I was an enigma. At work, I felt seen, liked, and appreciated for being kind.

In the evenings, I ventured out to meet new people and engage in meaningful discussions about peace, the environment, women's roles, and green politics. Occasionally, I went out to the discos in Cologne, dressing in vibrant outfits and wearing eccentric makeup.


I liked my ability to switch between these identities but felt that none of them had real depth. My bank colleagues referred to my intellectual friends as "eco-weirdos," and my intellectual friends dismissed my bank colleagues as "bourgeois." I heard the village's inhabitants criticize city slickers. All the while, I didn’t say a word. I tried to keep my different worlds separate, preventing them from colliding.

The Path to Self-Discovery

At some point, it just didn’t work anymore. I felt myself losing ground under my feet - literally.

During my four months at the Rhine Clinic, I looked at all these identities. I learned to understand myself better, what I truly liked. I also learned to accept the less favored aspects of my personality. I learned to decide how I wanted to form relationships with people. Though this time was not without its share of pain, it was a process of growth.

With great tenderness, I look back today on this young woman who had the courage to explore her various identities. She sought - and found - her place in life with great joie de vivre and at the same time deep gratitude for the therapists who helped me, the society that provides such care, and for my fellow patients, the majority of whom were women. I even forged a lifelong friendship with one of them.

After my time at the Rhine Clinic, I initially returned to my old life, determined to prove my capability to earn my living and find my place. Equipped with heightened self-awareness, I wanted to explore which aspects of my identity to hold onto and which ones to let go of. Two years later, I was nearly free of seizures, and my headaches had significantly diminished. My savings account was filled, and I was on my pathway to college. My new life began.

My Message of Empowerment

I am sharing this story today, on World Mental Health Day, especially for young women entering adulthood. Some of you may be the first in your family to attend college, feeling like you don't quite fit in. Others may struggle as they navigate different cultures, with greater differences than I have ever experienced. Some might be overwhelmed by the "invent yourself" culture and the multitude of roles expected of them. Some may have started their careers with dreams of New Work and self-fulfillment, only to become disillusioned and lose perspective. And there are those driven by an insatiable desire to excel, tearing themselves apart in the pursuit of meeting countless demands and expectations.

For all these young women: If you're struggling in your youth, embrace it. It will make you stronger and more balanced. Don't hesitate to ask for help. You are not alone in this. Generations of women from the past and present are here to walk with you. Reach out.




Ada Aust

Sozialarbeiterin & Ethikerin für wertebasierte Entscheidungen | Beratung für Unternehmen & Führungskr?fte

5 个月

Such a powerful story. Thank you for Sharing ????

Laura Noelle Gassen

Borderlinerin | Kfm. Leitung & Verwaltungsleitung @ TBL | Podcast-Host, Speakerin & Aktivistin | Mentale Diversit?t & Neurodivergent Leadership

5 个月

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and also taking away the stigma from seeking help and healing within a clinic/facility. I, too, have spend time in clinics twice and am looking back to two of the most enlightening times of my life.

Marlene Winterfeld

Gallerist at sothu | Co-Founder XRDAM | Systems Alchemist

11 个月

Thank you dear Gerda-Marie for putting together these facts and stories. Very insightful and inspiring, even if though still very concerning. Takling this is a major task now and in the near future!

Anja Mutschler

Blush & Blue: Mit Kunst und Wissenschaft transformative Prozesse unterstützen | Research - Transfer - Transformation 20blue | Kunstsalon Mutschler & Friends | Community-Building | forschend, schreibend, wirkend

1 年

Is this article availabe outside LinkedIn? Like a blog or something? The young ladies who could be touched by your honest and empathetic report may not be able to read it. :)

Ariane Previtali

Head Global IT Excellence Siemens | Bringing excellence to teams & organizations | Transformation Expert | Shaping the future of IT | Board member Swiss Cycling

1 年

Thanks Gerda-Marie for sharing your story. It is crucial to ask for help. Unfortunately, it has even become difficult to get an appointment with a psychologist. This makes it all the more important to reach out to those around you. This may not be a substitute for professional help, but it is a good first point of contact.?

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