YOU’LL NEVER EMBARRASS ANYONE BY ASKING ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. LEAST OF ALL YOURSELF.
So, you’re concerned about someone’s mental health, but scared to ask them for fear of embarrassment or making the whole issue worse?
Well don’t worry, you won’t.
There’s a simple logic to this and once you see it, you’ll slap yourself on the forehead and never be scared again.
But first a word about political correctness. It’s crap. Well, most of it.
Forget about what you are or are not allowed to say. If you’re approaching from genuine concern, who gives a damn?
I once had a good mate enquire of my health by saying, “Sarah (who is his wife) told me I had to ask how your pills are going?”
I said they were going well to which he replied, “Oh thank God for that.” We both laughed, but nevertheless, I was deeply moved. This was his blokey way of telling me he cared.
The point is, it’s much better to ask than not.
Now to the logic.
If you told someone you were concerned about them and just wanted to check everything was okay there are three possible scenarios:
1. They have no problem. You’ve simply misread the situation but they think you’re great for asking.
2. They have a problem but deny it. At least you’ve opened a gate for them and shown you care. They love you for it.
3. They have a problem and they sigh a massive sigh of relief that they have someone who cares and that they can talk to. They are not alone. They name their firstborn child after you – or rename an existing one.
Sitting back with your mouth shut tight for fear of embarrassment is a waste of time. And possibly even a life.
Boat Builder Self Managing
5 年True.? If you're struggling, it can be a very lonely place.... until you 'come out'.? Amazing how many people admit to having suspected something but are afraid to ask, and conversely, how many people there are who actually do care if only you knew who they were in the Venn diagram of life. YOU have to identify where YOU are for it to work.??
Business Ops Manager, Trustee, Honorary Lecturer, Charity Board Advisor.
5 年I am lucky to have a strong group of friends and an excellent set of co-workers. I have shared this article for that reason. Though still waiting for someone to name their kid after me...?
Intersting article David, like the thoughts. Got to say I think the same applies for any sensitive conversation like asking the cancer patient "how you feeling?"? #workplacementalhealth #mentalfitness
Providing Practical MHFA Skills Training | Providing Workers with Skills and Confidence to Help Each Other
5 年Thanks for this, We always teach the first step is to listen, without judgement and not try to fix people straight away. If you can ask someone using "I" in your approach instead of "you" we find this is less confronting.
Psychologist
5 年Absolutely - thank you for this! The same goes for sharing what's going on for you. I have seen countless moments of someone telling the group about their anxiety or about having had a bit of a 'down' week, and everyone's shoulders relax - we all see we're not alone. To all those that have been the first to 'out' their normalness, thank you. You helped the rest of us feel okay about not feeling okay at times, and gave us permission to 'check-in' and show how much we care about your wellbeing. We don't stop being humans just cause we clocked-in at work ??