You are not your thoughts

The voice in our heads is busy some days…

You aren’t good enough.

Be more focused!

Why are you so stupid?

You look terrible.

You need to work out more.

What’s wrong with you?

It gets so noisy in our heads with mountains of self-criticism that it is sometimes difficult to concentrate and it is exhausting to be in our own heads. It doesn’t have to be this noisy every single day or all at once to take a toll on us. Our energy gets depleted, we get tired and less focused, and this perpetuates the negative cycle further.

Being depleted of our energy makes it harder to be strong in the face of conflict, and when anyone on the outside reinforces any of the negative chatter it hits us hard because it validates what is already in our own heads. When we find ourselves in this negative spiral it becomes imperative to recognize that it is happening and work to reframe our thoughts towards a more positive message.

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Hold on to positive people

In his book, the Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor says, “…when we encounter an unexpected challenge or threat, the only way to save ourselves is to hold on tight to the people around us and not let go.”

When faced with an inner monologue of rampant negativity, seek out positive people in your life. Connect with people who know how to make you laugh, believe in you and build you up. Sometimes we need a little help to reframe our thoughts.

The voice in your head

Michael Singer writes in his book, The Untethered Soul that, “There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it.” If we are not the thoughts in our heads then how do we shut them off?

The simple fact that these thoughts are not who we are can help us to better evaluate what we hear. Our thoughts do not define us and are not an inner reflection of who we are. We need to have the self-awareness to learn to shut the negativity off, encourage a positive internal message, and work to reach our full potential.

In the Untethered Soul, Michael Singer claims that, “your will is stronger than the habit of listening to that voice.” So, understanding that our thoughts are not us, and strengthening our will not to listen are steps down the path of overcoming the negative inner monologue.

Find pleasure in little things

To change the negative dialogue in our heads we need to focus on taking pleasure in the little things. Watch the sun set, feel the breeze, listen to the birds – anything that can help to reform the negative chatter in our minds to focus on something else.

Practice self-care by going for a walk, reading a book, taking a power nap, calling a friend – it is vital to reframe our thoughts so that the dialogue in our heads changes and that we realize that we don’t have to listen to our thoughts speaking badly of us.

Remember that you are not alone. We all face negative inner monologues. The key thing to remember is that these thoughts are not you. They don’t define you, and they are not who you are. Reach out to positive people, find pleasure in the little things and drown out the negative chatter to live a better life.