Are YOU a Wuss?

Yes, I’ve been a wuss.

In fact, there have been times I’ve not called out or even questioned ‘questionable’ behaviors from leaders! I, too, was afraid of the authority figures, afraid they would shut me down; maybe think I was crazy. Or worse, fire me.??

I should have initiated those critical conversations. I should have stood up and asked for better.

I’ve made my mistakes. And without a doubt, I’ll make more.

But I'm making a stand to NOT be a wuss any longer!

For quite some time now, maybe even a couple of decades, we, the collective culture/society, have slowly traded in bravery and virtue for convenience and coddling. In effect, we’ve been breeding a tribe of wusses.??

And since 2020, this behavior has become increasingly more evident.?

I’m shocked at what I’ve seen happening to our workforce, at what those in leadership positions are doing to (or not doing for) their hardworking people.?

It’s appalling.

And I can’t stay quiet about it any longer. I’m not living in integrity if I do.

Yes, I know it’s been QUITE the ride since 2020. It has not been easy and I’m not denying the battles we have all had to face during this time.

For example, everyone is yammering about retention being a major issue now. And it sure is.

But there is a huge part of the retention issue that no one is talking about.??

Priorities have shifted for a lot of people in the last two years and while there are those who are leaving their jobs to align themselves with a more suitable career, this alone does not account for the high number of vacant positions right now.?

Undoubtedly, the mass exodus of professionals from across all industries can be attributed to many factors.?

But one of them is not being talked about.?

It’s the elephant in the room.?

The real issue is that your people want YOU to stand up and fight for them. They want you to lead.

And you’re not. So they’re walking.

Or worse, they’re being fired.?

We know that our people don't leave the job. They leave us. Their leaders and managers.

And it’s happening now in unprecedented numbers.

So stop looking for other reasons outside your organization. Stop blaming a medical crisis or a broken economy or a declining interest in going to work.

While relevant to a degree, those are not the root causes of the conveniently termed ‘Great Resignation.’

So, let’s talk about the elephant in the room, shall we?

Have you considered that people might be leaving you in unprecedented numbers because they feel you have failed them??

But how, you ask? You’ve done everything right. You’ve followed orders to the tee throughout the chaos of the last two years.

Ahhh. There it is.?

Following orders.

Could it be that some of these orders were NOT in the best interest of everyone? Is it possible that they were not the right thing to do?

Remember, leadership is doing the right thing, even when no one is looking.?

Are you doing the right thing?

Through first-hand experience coaching and training people, as well as what my colleagues are telling me — a lot of people feel they’ve been slighted, ignored, abused, and violated. A lot of people feel zero loyalty right now.?

I literally heard someone say their boss was being a wuss!

So how do you spot ‘wuss’ behavior?

These are 7 signs that you might be behaving like a wuss:?

1. You take the “wait and see” approach too frequently
2. Someone else makes decisions for you
3. You know the right thing to do, but you don’t do it (out of fear)
4. You’ve fired dedicated employees because someone said you had to
5. You’re a conformist, eager to follow the crowd and afraid to go against them
6. You don’t stand up and speak out for your employees
7. You sidestep the real issues (avoiding the elephant in the room)?

We’ve all made mistakes. And believe me, I get it. Fear is a bitch. It can be all-consuming and debilitating.?

But fear is also a liar.?

We have to face our fears and remember that the choice really is ours, as tough as those choices might be.

This next set of questions are the really tough ones —so buckle up or stop reading here.?

OK, take a deep breath, get in an objective mindset, and ask yourself:

?? Did you have a part in pushing your people into a corner, forcing them to choose between their rights or their job??

?? Did you shy away from speaking out against irrational and unlawful dictates?

?? Did you stand by and watch people be treated unfairly, disrespectfully, and/or heartlessly??

?? Did you violate people’s privacy and their freedom to make their own healthcare choices??

?? Did you judge those who had different beliefs than you? Maybe even punish them for it??

These are just some of the behaviors people have experienced.?

(Btw, congrats — you’re still with me here!)

Don’t get me wrong, no one is perfect. Most of us had to fumble and stumble quite a ways in early 2020 before we were finally able to get our feet on solid ground. It was shocking what was happening and what we were being told to do.?

To get out of wuss-mode, it can help to dig deeper and look at what was driving our behaviors and actions these past two years.?

Who were you really looking out for??Be honest.

Was it your people? Or was it yourself? Your image? Your bankroll??

What were you afraid of??(It’s normal to feel fear.)

Facing our fear is critical in leadership. It can often take courage to do the right thing.?

And it’s time now to remember what it means to be a leader and to do the right thing.

Wake up leaders!?

It’s time to put your inner wuss in her place. It’s time to be brave.

As soon as we know better we need to do better.?

So what do you say, are you ready to rise and shine?!?

Here are a few tips that might help get you started on the right track.

First, take a few minutes for self-reflection. Ask yourself:

• What do I believe in? What are my principles/values??
• Am I living in alignment with those?
• Am I considering other people? (Do I truly care about my people?)
• Am I afraid of something? What?
• What would be the worst thing that could happen if I courageously stood up for my principles?
• How will I feel if I don’t do what I know is right?
• Who will be affected by my decisions?

Second, consider getting a coach. If you’re serious about banishing your inner wuss and rising up like the leader you truly are then you may need some help. Pay someone to hold you accountable — it works. A strong leader is always willing to get help.

Third, commit to be in conscious defiance to the status quo. Status quo is a scarcity mentality and wuss leaders are afraid to challenge what is comfortable. To do exceptional things—honorable things—we have to push boundaries. We have to question the ‘accepted narrative’ and go where no one else will go. We will often have to go against the crowd.

“Leadership is not about your position or title. It’s about who you are, how you live, and your ability to influence others to change things for the better — at work and beyond.” – Steve Farber

Fourth, think about your people. Provide a clear path forward, perhaps by calling on them to help draft an employee bill of rights. It will serve as a reminder of what’s truly important: people.?

This would not be the same as your company's mission statement. This is about protecting your biggest asset. Not sure where to begin? How about this:?

We will never force employees to give up their inalienable rights in order to get or keep a job.?

I said earlier that I have been a wuss. I want to share that I’ve also mustered up the courage to be a warrior. I have spoken out about controversial subjects and I have also risked losing clients to defend freedom of choice.

For example, in 2021 I was offered a very lucrative contract to run a 5-day on-site retreat. In-person training is one of my absolute favorite things to do. I’m very aware of how important the connection and communication are and, additionally, I believe every human being has the right to choose how they approach their own health care. As such, I told the CEO that I would have to turn the offer down if they were going to require employees to be masked.?

It felt crazy to me to even consider saying no to such a great opportunity! But with my guiding principles at the forefront of my mind, I knew it was the right thing. I will always put people before my own profit.?

I get it, stepping outside the lines of the ‘accepted’ narrative is no easy task.?

But when we stand up for what’s right, when we show courage, commitment, and integrity...THIS increases trust and retention in our workforce.?

This gives others the assurance that you're a leader worth following.

Courage is a choice. Greatness is the result.

Great leaders do what is right, not what is easy.

The choice is yours — which will you do:

? STAY IN WUSS-MODE

Some of your brightest and best people feel the toxicity and deterioration of their workplace. They no longer feel safe to be who they are and freely exercise their rights. They feel coerced to do things they did not sign up for. They will get as far away from you as possible. Those who choose to stay, but really don’t want to, will become more and more disengaged and disillusioned. They’ll call in sick more than ever. They’ll do the bare minimum. They'll trash talk their superiors. They’ll grow to despise being in your employ. And eventually they too will leave. You'll be under more pressure than ever — to fill vacancies, to provide better training, to meet more needs, to put out fires. You could even be facing lawsuits. You’ll feel more stress, misery, and doubt than ever before. And allll this comes home with you, making your family miserable too. You could end up fighting with your spouse or worse, divorced. And on it goes.

? GET ON THE RIGHT TRACK

You realize these are unprecedented times and there’s a lot of pressure on you to enforce an unreasonable one-size-fits-all agenda for your workplace and your employees. You sense that something’s not right about pressing people into a corner. You know the new policies will disaffect many people who are relying on you to back them up. The stakes are high but you choose to put your people first. You treat each one as an individual, respecting their personal choices, and remaining forthright. Your commitment and integrity spur confidence in your crew. They trust you. They feel part of a team. They are excited about projects and willing to bring up issues, knowing that you are there for them. They will go the extra mile. The environment is harmonious, proactive rather than reactive, and everyone feels like an integral part of the operation. There are no arguments, no deception, no underhanded tactics. You feel poised, patient, and in control.

The world needs you. Your people need you.?

It’s time for us to stop being wusses. It’s time to rise and shine.

? I’d love to hear your examples of people rising and shining.? Share in the comments.