Are you on a war with yourself?

What’s the biggest war we ever have with ourselves? I’ve spent years exploring this question, beginning with myself and over the years with all the hundreds of thousands of women I’ve worked with! One answer that has been common amongst all: THE INNER CRITIC.

There are patterns that are common amongst almost everyone who starts a journey of self-work. Every time there is a process of growth, change or transformation, why is it that instead of showing ourselves love, kindness and warmth, we start the personal attack of: “My biggest problem is… “ “I always fail because…” “I want to but I can’t because…” “If only I had….” “ It won’t be easy for me” Have you ever thought how confusing it is for your brain?. There is part of you that really wants the change, that craves the change, that is willing to move ahead towards growth and there is the second part, that is bringing the old conditioned patterned and standing against it with the bag of doubts and excuses. Imagine the war!

Remember this: You can never change old programming with the same old programme. It wouldn’t update. You have to install new updated bug-free software.

Now is this the point where we both can high-five each other, go on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram and post positivity quotes (Which btw I do a lot) and then never ever utter a negative word again?

AH! No, No and NO! If only it worked like that .. All of this inner work takes process, time, guidance and some real work.

However what we can do here is just put down.. or at least practice to start putting down the weapons we use against ourselves. Definitely beginning with WORDS!

If you put a recorder inside your brain and start recording all the conversations you have with yourself, you may end up realising that some of the things that you say to yourself about yourself, even your worst enemies won’t!

So here is what we can start with:

Pause and Breathe..

Observe at what you create with yourself inside yourself

Breathe again..

And now simply notice the smallest things you can begin to change.

I observe this process with literally all my clients, that we always and always start with the smallest of the change. An example?

Instead of saying “ One of my biggest problem is…” can you say “One of the most important solution I am currently looking for is…”

OR

Instead of saying “I always fail because..” Try using “ What I can do to succeed is… “

Now don’t start thinking of how difficult it is or how its just too much work! Pause, breathe and remember all you need to every time you go on a war with yourself is ask “Is there any other way I can respond to this?” And then carry on…

Remember always- You are the one with power! You choose and then you create!