If you want to be somebody else…

One of my favorite bands is called Sister Hazel. I’m calling on that 90s band to help with what might be a touchy, but valuable conversation to have.?

“If you want to be somebody else,

If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself

If you want to be somebody else

Change your mind”

- From Change Your Mind by Sister Hazel

What I find so often is that many people looking for a job, trying to build a team, or feeling stuck in their current position are overwhelmingly frustrated. It’s perfectly normal and understandable to get frustrated with a situation, but if you aren’t careful, those feelings will end up infesting and poisoning your efforts and impacting others' perception of them.?

How can you create a positive change in your perspective, attitude, or mind?

For Job Seekers, the hunt for a good career opportunity with the best compensation can be long and stressful. There’s a risk of that being perceived as a negativity by hiring managers and recruiters. How can you avoid that frustration coming through during interviews??

• What is your value? Understanding what you bring to a company and being able to articulate well will get the attention of hiring managers, especially if you can map this to their business needs (notice I didn’t say job description). Create and practice with value statements that can be leveraged during conversations with recruiters and potential employers.?
• Is it nice to meet you? Body language, non-verbal cues, and tone of voice have a powerful impact on the perception others have of you. Making eye contact, smiling, having good posture, and speaking clearly communicate eagerness and confidence. Don’t let frustration outshine your smile, talents, successes, passion, and value.
• What are you focused on? Negative self-talk or bitterness at exasperating circumstances will wear you down and frankly are career limiting, especially in an interview. It can be more helpful to stay focused on your successes, abilities, goals, where you want to be, what it will take to get there, and what achieving it will mean for you and your new employer.

For Hiring Managers, finding and attracting the right candidates can be aggravating, frustrating and time consuming. You’ve likely had a parade of people come into interviews that weren’t capable of doing everything you need them to or compensation is misaligned, or culture fit is off. That frustration will start showing to candidates, who will question if the company culture is a good fit for them. To get out of that harmful cycle, would you consider a different approach??

• Is less experience ok? Maybe you can hire someone that appears a bit greener, as long as they’re motivated and could learn quickly. Many highly qualified candidates may not have a degree or certification, but they have all the skills you need.?
• Do they know anyone? Employee referral programs can save on recruiting costs while giving you a pipeline of friends and colleagues who have heard how great it is to work there already.The same thing happens with candidates. If they aren’t a great fit but they have a great impression of you, share that this isn’t the right fit right now but you’d love to stay in touch and consider them for future positions. Don’t be afraid to ask them who they know and if possible offer them a referral bonus if you hire their referral.
• How’re the interviews going? What are you communicating about the company and job opportunity through your word choice and non-verbal cues? Even something as simple as a smile can change the feeling of an interview. To get them excited about working with the team, brag about successes, team members, and big challenges your team is in process of solving. You can even consider asking them to help solve a problem or challenging scenario with you.?

For Employees, frustrations at work can take on many forms. Coworkers, bosses, processes, or customers can grind on us until we’re constantly irritated. That’s going to negatively impact you, professionally and personally. What should you do when you find yourself in that situation?

• Is it time for a change? You may have grown and learned as much as you can where you are now. To get to the next level of your career or find more satisfying work, consider looking for opportunities elsewhere. Congrats, you’ve outgrown your employer. This is a good thing.
• What is the solution? What are all the factors contributing to your negative feelings? It probably won’t just be an annoying coworker or redundant process. There is likely some shift in attitude or a different approach that would alleviate at least some of your pain points. Try to focus on being solution driven.?
• How is your smile? Some days, we don’t feel like smiling. Sometimes those days turn into weeks. Eventually that develops into our attitude and it’s all anyone else can see in us. They, in turn, can end up carrying that glum with them. You can build a reputation for being someone that builds a positive workplace when you’re intentional with your body language. Find value in the lessons and growth you encounter, even in challenging situations. That’s someone who will attract better job opportunities or promotions.?

If all you focus on is problems, all you’ll ever see are the problems. What would it mean for you if you could change your mind? What impact would that have on your career and the lives of those you care about??