Are you waiting for the other shoe to drop?

The challenges facing women in leadership tend to be the same whether they are in Hollywood, government, law, or business.

Many of them lead teams, business units, and practice areas, all while secretly managing a constant state of waiting for the other shoe to drop. They fear everything they have worked so hard to accomplish will somehow be pulled right out from under them.

I recently watched an interview with Sandra Bullock. You may know a bit about her story, including that a few days after she won an Oscar for her leading role in the movie "The Blindside," she was blindsided by reports of her then husband’s multiple extramarital affairs.

The interviewer asked Sandra, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how is life now?” She replied, “It’s my life. So, a 9.2 . . . Because the other shoe will drop. It will.”

When I heard that, I immediately thought about so many women leaders who tell me, time and time again, when it comes to their work and careers, they are just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

More often than not, they are concerned about some situation at work that will derail their success. Real-life situations like:

• Leading through dynamic, evolving work environments and times of crisis, without the training, support, or resources to do so confidently.
• Watching others take credit for their thought-leadership and ideas.
• Trying to manage a rogue employee who undermines their authority.

In every instance, these real-life situations are playing out for women in leadership roles just like you.

Are you waiting for the other shoe to drop too, like Sandra Bullock?

If so, you should know this. All of these scenarios happen, in part, because Imposter Syndrome is real.

Imposter Syndrome doesn’t look the same for everyone. However, the consistent, core, defining component of Imposter Syndrome is feeling like a fraud and fearing others will find out you are not as smart, talented, or knowledgeable as they believe you are.

For example, if you lack leadership training, perhaps your imposter syndrome looks like being afraid to ask for the kind of training you need because you don’t want anyone to find out that you don’t know what you don’t know.

Perhaps you don’t speak up when others take credit for your ideas because you secretly question whether the idea actually was your original thought or whether you heard it somewhere else and subconsciously held on to it as if it were yours. (Yes. I just literally had this conversation with a client.)

However, the scenario I am seeing A LOT lately is leaders tolerating the bad, undermining, bullying behavior of a direct report. Someone who is supposed to follow your leadership and instead ignores your directives, talks about you negatively to others, including to the people you report to, and does everything within their power to make you feel like a fraud or in some way not equal to your role.

These are ALL real-life scenarios I have coached leaders through.

Have you experienced any of these situations?

If you are in a leadership role, it is more likely than not that you have. If you plan to be a leader one day, you most likely will. Why? Because Imposter Syndrome is real.

A 2020 KPMG study found that 75% of female executives across industries have experienced imposter syndrome in their careers. Take a look at the study, linked below. I think you will find it interesting.

What can you do about Imposter Syndrome? I have outlined two things below that will help.

First, try this exercise:

Think about times you felt like a fraud or like you were going to be found out as a fraud or not as smart, talented, and knowledgeable. Then, ask yourself the following questions:

• What preceded that feeling or thought?
• When do these feelings or thoughts tend to happen and is there a discernable pattern?
• How did past situations you feared the worst about ultimately work out?

Secondly, I will be facilitating an 8-Week Mastermind for 20 women exclusively dedicated to helping you Overcome Imposter Syndrome. This is work I am facilitating with my private clients and wanted to make it available to you. If you are interested in learning more, send me a LinkedIn message or email me at [email protected].

I will be sharing more about this program over the next couple of weeks but if you would like to learn more now, or share an imposter syndrome scenario you have experienced, reply back and let me know.

Imposter Syndrome is real but with support, tools, and training, you can overcome it.

Let me know in the comments below what experiences have made you doubt yourself and experience moments of Imposter Syndrome.

Lakeshia

?Link to the KPMG Study

Link to the Sandra Bullock interview on CBS Sunday Morning.

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