You vs You - A Game Between the Ears

Welcome to Game On - my attempt at public accountability for the challenges of life faced with a neutral yet optimistic mindset. A new weekly standard to hold - sharing my perspective in hopes of helping others.?Why Game On? I recently had a conversation with a family friend and he repeated this phrase at least 10 times in 30 minutes. He, like me, is a former collegiate athlete and still holds insanely high standards post-athletic career. Any challenge or adversity I mentioned on our call was met with a simple and solid response…”game on man!”?

If you say “game on”, you mean that you are ready for something challenging to begin. Each day presents challenges regardless of our expectations. Changing my perspective from “why me?” or “why this or that” to “game on” has made a measurable impact on the actions that follow. I want to share those stories and hear from others.?

Let’s set the stage…

Baby Winnie is already three weeks old - 20% growth in 21 days. The human body is mind-boggling.?

Mugsy?is back to full strength! I’m back to work - opening a new store and recalibrating to three weeks of missed emails (inbox slowly approaching double-digit unread…)

Sleep has been a rollercoaster - disrupted sleep does a wonder on your mentals…somehow my emotions resemble Anxiety and Embarrassment from Inside Out 2 (just a cool $29 on Amazon Prime, an easy after-school reprieve for the girls that I was more interested in than them)

Waves of emotion have been the norm…stress, joy, angst, worry, calm. Negative thoughts and monkey mind thinking as I try to get back into a regular routine and a sense of a new normal. Battling the desire to speed life back up while balancing the calmness of a newborn.?

This week’s challenge - between the ears.?

GAME ON!

The mind of an athlete can be an incredible asset, but also unchecked can be a huge liability. As my family has grown, my ego wants to hold on to many of the traits and habits I’ve had in my early twenties, no kids and very limited responsibilities.?

We had our first daughter Ellie and very little changed. I was able to train for a 70.3 Iron Man in Madison, WI. I’d spend close to 15 hours a week training and LOVED IT. I was able to continue to grow in my career, be a good dad and husband, and scratch the itch of competing.

Our second daughter came and again habits and routines stayed consistent. We move across the country but with a 2-on-2 approach, we’re still able to find time to pursue challenges, marathons, more career growth, and more goals accomplished. But the more we grew our family the more unsustainable these habits have felt.

I’ve struggled in the last few years with an overactive mind and an inability to remain still. This is mostly fed by my former days as a college athlete - a never-ending drive to find new opportunities, constantly searching for ways to improve any and all areas of life - a slight addiction if I’ll be honest. But more and more recently I’m bombarded by the constant flood of highlights, wins, and achievements highlighted on social media (LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram).?

Consuming content, even good inspirational, thoughtful, engaging content, new tips, habits, mindsets, growth-oriented content, etc. has brought more angst than excitement. I seem to pile on a new habit to try or method to practice far too frequently, only to fail quickly and feel defeated.?

It’s a rough concoction of ego and determination towards many outcomes and expectations I can’t control. Too much outside influences saying what I should be vs what I currently am. I’ve slowly become more and more dopamine-driven without realizing the true impact on my mental state.?

“Comparison is the thief of joy” - nowhere is that more apparent than on social media. Someone else is doing more, going faster, achieving more, and I too often feel left seeking after scroll after scroll. Many times I’ll compare my current state to my old habits, times I’d train twice a day, periods I’d read a book a month, how I used to look or what I used to be able to physically do.?

What it all boils down to for me is one word…” enough.”?

What habits and routines will make a day feel enough…

What level of success, income, title, etc will be enough…

What is enough time spent working on new projects, growth goals, growing your network…

What is enough time spent in the gym, working on yourself, reading, writing, “growing”…

My mind will go through some of these questions after a so-so workout, a day that didn’t feel as accomplished, a meeting that didn’t go as planned. The negative thoughts start to pile in, slowly growing louder and I’m suddenly on edge and restless.?

After three weeks of paternity leave and a roller coaster of emotions, I’ve finally realized “enough". Enough of this thinking and ego that doesn’t serve me. Enough of the bad habits, enough of the negative thoughts that take away from my presence, my ability to show up for my kids.

My focus needs to shift, and that’s where this week’s "games” have been played. Here’s how I’m going after it:

1. Social Media Cleanse?- completely off Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn on my phone - now only available on desktop. Doing my best to limit scrolling as much as possible if not completely. I’ve cleaned up my followers and improved my algorithm strategically towards good people and content.?My phone use is strategic and intentional.
2. Gratitude?- I’ve had a good habit of journaling about what I’m grateful for, but too often I rush to write about gratitude without sitting in the emotion long enough to truly feel it. Taking more time to be still, enjoy time with my girls while they are young, allowing myself to be with them, take them to school, to just BE a dad and not worry about how good I am at it.
3. News?- Completely off any news websites, TV, social media. Nonnegotiable. There’s a time and a place but it’s not helpful right now.?
4. Daily Prayer?- I’ve finally given up control of my life, it’s never really been in my control. Watching another child be born further cemented my need to pray daily - for my kids, for my family, and for those around us who need it. It’s a way to draw closer to my faith, to what truly matters.?

This is a long term game - one that I’ve really just started but one I will definitely need support in. Five days into these new routines and I feel lighter, more present, more stable. I’ve learned these decisions are not for forever, just for today and right now. Stack enough of those and life gets brighter.?

Thanks for subscribing, see you next week.