Are you utilizing your potential to the fullest?

Let me ask you a question, 'Are you utilizing your potential to the fullest?' I heard the answer as No. Why? Let us understand. (Answer is rarely ‘Yes’ and if it is, have you realized your true potential?)

While hunting, what are the chances of a lion catching and killing its prey? 80% or 50%? It is just 17%. Chances of success for a lion while hunting is less than 1 out of 5 at an average. The life of a lion, king of the jungle is not that easy.

Now the question is, what does a lion do, when it fails and fails again to catch its prey? It works out new strategy? Or thinks out a better plan? Not really. Lion does not have a developed logical thinking like we humans do. So, a lion would try again and again the same way it knows until it succeeds. Lion has an SOP of hunting in its subconscious and it will continue to try as per the SOP.

Same question to a human being, what would he or she do, when he or she fails to achieve their goals in several attempts. When we fail attempting twice or thrice, we would start questioning our abilities. Probably, we are not made for it. We need to do something else. We start forming limiting beliefs. We would either lower the goal or change it altogether. However, it is not necessary that we will be successful in first attempt even if we do everything right.

We all know the story of a captured elephant. It was caught and tied to the strong metal chains. It tries hard to break free. No one likes to be bonded. In the attempt to break free, its legs are bleeding, its trunk wounded, head damaged. It uses all its strength but nothing happens. After some days, elephant realises it cannot break free. It accepts defeat. It accepts human as master and even starts to like him. It grows older and stronger. Now it is tied to a simple rope. It can easily free itself anytime. But it won’t. ?

Some of the limiting beliefs are good for us. We learnt to fear fire and it protects us. We watch the signal before we cross the road as we fear an accident and it is good. But most of the limiting beliefs hold us back from utilizing our potential to the fullest. There are real limiting beliefs and imagined limiting beliefs. We acquire many fears which are imagined and not real.

There was an interesting experiment conducted on monkeys. A monkey naturally doesn’t fear a snake. Behavioural scientists introduced a snake to a monkey in a controlled environment with scary noises. The result was, monkey learnt to fear the snakes. This monkey was now kept in a group of monkeys who did not fear snakes. A snake was introduced in the environment of these monkeys. The result was predictable. Monkey who had experienced the snake with scary noises showed signs of fear. But what about the rest of the monkeys? Seeing one of the monkeys fearing, they also started fearing the snake. This shows that we acquire fear from others.

Our parents, in an attempt to protect us, fill us with many fears. We also learn those limiting beliefs from our parents. ‘Study well and get good marks. Get a good job and life will be settled’. If you don’t study well, you are doomed. Business is riskier. Sports don’t pay much. Parents based on their experiences would guide (or misguide) their children.

In a training session, in one of the industrial areas in Maharashtra, I asked participants, ‘What is your goal in life?’ More than 90% said, ‘government job’. There were working in a factory and trying for a government job simultaneously.

Imagine Amitabh Bachchan giving up acting because of his failures. He faced constant criticism for his height and voice. The same height and voice later became his assets. He is one of those few actors who never changed his hair style. Imagine Sachin Tendulkar giving up cricket when he found difficult to play fast bowling in his initial days. He was hit on his nose by a deadly Pakistani fast bowler. Marvin Atapatu failed many times before succeeding and went on to become one of the most successful Srilankan batsman and a captain. There are such endless examples of people who didn’t give up in the face of criticism and adversity.

It is not always parents who are responsible for limiting beliefs. We absorb and accept limiting beliefs from our environment. There is a teenage boy playing a game on his smart phone. His father is watching TV sitting next to his son. Father receives a call from a colleague also a friend, and they are discussing about their mutual friend. This friend had a wonderful job, heavy package, high rank and facilities by the company. He left his job and started his own business, failed and is now struggling to find a job. Father is sharing how stupid it was to leave such a wonderful job and start his own business. Teenage boy is listening passively but information is being taken in and stored by his subconscious mind. Teenage boy grows into an adult and now has a great job. He has a wonderful business idea and he wants to start his business. He is rationally convinced that business idea will be a hit. But something is holding him back and he is unable to take the decision. He is feeling miserable. He is fearing failure. What if? The unsolicited information that he captured is still influencing him.

It is natural that we would fail more often than succeed. Every action we choose has a consequence. We can choose an action but not the consequences of those actions.

We live in a world where negativity sells more than positivity. Very few wants to know about kindness and not cruelty. We end up acquiring more fears, more limiting beliefs.

How do we know then, what are real limitations and what are imagined? Answer is self-awareness. Whenever, a voice (our own voice or outside) says you can’t do this, ask yourself why not? Why I can’t do it? What is the basis? Go through the logical process of understanding the basis. If there is any truth, is there a way I can overcome this challenge?

Take help of coach cum counsellors. Counselling is not only for dealing with negative emotions (most common misperception) but also to help an individual live his life to his fullest. Remember that teenage boy who is now struggling to overcome fear of failure to start his new venture. He would not even know consciously the mental block that is stopping him to act.

To conclude, in my experience, everyone I came across had huge potential but most of the potential remained unutilized due to acquired limiting beliefs.

Change in mindset is key to success. That makes me give more importance to behavioural training than any other trainings.

Thank you.

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