Are You Unconsciously Incompetent as a Negotiator? Here's Why You Might Be and What You Can Do About It

Are You Unconsciously Incompetent as a Negotiator? Here's Why You Might Be and What You Can Do About It

As a CEO of a public technology company in 1998, I negotiated every day with clients, suppliers, employees, authorities, and board members. Naturally, I assumed that I was an exceptional negotiator. After all, with so much experience negotiating at such a high level, how could I not be? But one encounter with a gentleman who challenged my approach opened my eyes to the fact that I was unconsciously incompetent. I didn't even know what I didn't know about negotiations. This realization prompted me to pivot and dedicate myself to making the world a better place by changing the way we negotiate.

Despite the advances in technology, communication, and business practices, negotiations have remained fundamentally unchanged since the mid-1800s. It's still all about techniques, tactics, and methods to "win" the negotiation. However, we can do so much better by helping both parties benefit from the negotiation. It's time for a mindset shift on what negotiation is and isn't.

So, ask yourself this question: Do you know what you don't know about negotiation? If you're like most people, the answer is probably no. The fact is, many people are unconsciously incompetent when it comes to negotiating. They assume that they are great negotiators simply because they negotiate often. However, negotiating is a skill that requires ongoing development and refinement.

The good news is that you can become a better negotiator by acknowledging your blind spots and taking steps to address them. Start by educating yourself on negotiation best practices and new approaches. Don't just pick the most popular choice, because that direction may not be the best. Attend negotiation training sessions, read books on negotiation, and seek out mentorship from skilled negotiators. It's also essential to approach negotiations with a collaborative mindset and a focus on creating value for both parties. By doing so, you can become a more effective and successful negotiator.

In conclusion, being unconsciously incompetent as a negotiator is more common than you might think. However, by recognizing this and taking steps to improve your skills, you can achieve better outcomes for yourself and your counterpart. So, if you want to become a better negotiator, start by asking yourself: do I know what I don't know about negotiation?

I am Keld Jensen, dual citizen of Denmark and the US, living here in California. I am a former CEO of a public technology company in Stockholm Sweden but discovered in 1998 that I was unconscious incompetent in the science of negotiation. Like most executives by the way. So, since 1998 I have been advising corporation and governments on negotiation. I am an award winner author of 25 books, published in 38 countries. Associated professor at 4 universities where I teach negotiation in eMBA classes, TEDx speaker and the creator of the worlds most awarded negotiation strategy SMARTnership Negotiation.