Are You Trying Too Hard To Fit In?
Judith Sherven, PhD
Executive Empowerment Coach, Decades of Working with Individuals at Tech Companies and Start-ups, Fostering Career Growth, Award-winning Self-help Author, Radio and Podcast Guest
“So this, I believe, is the central question upon which all creative living hinges: Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?” Elizabeth Gilbert, from her book Big Magic
And “In Conclusion” she states:
“Creativity is sacred. And it is not sacred. What we make matters enormously, and it doesn’t matter at all. We toil alone, and we are accompanied by spirits. We are terrified, and we are brave. Art is a crushing chore and a wonderful privilege. Only when we are at our most playful can divinity finally get serious with us. Make space for all these paradoxes to be equally true inside your soul, and I promise —you can make anything. So please calm down now and get back to work, okay?
The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say yes.”
In order to bring forth the deepest treasures within you have to have the courage to stand apart from all those who want you to “fit in,” “conform,” “behave.”
But most people have become so indoctrinated to the “norm” that they, sadly, cannot break away to stand on their own, in their own deepest, truest, most creative and leaderly way!
As you read and re-read the wisdom of Elizabeth Gilbert, what do you notice arising from deep within, arguing against her message? What do you notice that wants you to agree with her and blow open the resistance to your magnificence? What comes to mind as your “treasures” that remain hidden within?
These are some of the questions that my husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD found himself facing as he prepared to write his first novel—Worship Of Hollow Gods—based on growing up in Polish Catholic inner-city Detroit in 1950. What did he still “worship”? What were the “hollow gods” that still felt real to him? What would he need to face into as he wrote and revealed himself to himself? The process was life changing, and his autobiographical novel continues to open readers to some of their own “hollow gods.”
What about you? What have you noticed about deep loyalties as you’ve been reading? I look forward to your responses.
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Judith Sherven, PhD and her husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD https://JudithandJim.com have developed a penetrating perspective on people’s resistance to success, which they call The Fear of Being Fabulous. Recognizing the power of unconscious programming to always outweigh conscious desires, they assert that no one is ever failing—they are always succeeding. The question is, at what? To learn about how this played out in the life of Whitney Houston for example, and how it may be playing out in your own life, check out their 6th book: https://WhatReally KilledWhitneyHouston.com
For a great read that relates to this topic, my husband Jim’s Worship Of Hollow Gods is now available on Amazon in kindle and paperback - and was a #1 New Release and #1 Best Seller on Amazon. https://tinyurl.com/y8xw4ht9
Sr. Executive-SCM at Paper Fly II E-commerce| B2B| B2C| Logistics| Fulfillments| Distribution| Demand Planning| LMDN| Inventory Management| Warehousing| Order Management| Procurement| Vendor management
6 年https://share.payoneer.com/nav/J28ppgRt7CT7RLcEJ5fEQXyqawm3QnAIYUb0wSOWfv_4l262pD8o-PTToHFx40HCoN3Xo2ky_CfOtlG-QdLrEw2
Investments @ Mulia Sky Capital | Master of Applied Finance | Macroeconomics Enthusiast
6 年My problem is that I thrive from empowering people, but I constantly hit a road block relying only on others to accept me for who I am. This is a trap as my focus on others is my deep loyalty, and it's easy to depend on their approval as part of reflecting. From now on I'll focus on empowering myself first!
Nice... except when someone else thinks EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE and singles you out to be " corrected " i.e. mobbing... NOT nice if that person is your boss... so the question is... do you have the gall AND the patience to try to reason or... do you just throw in the towel and go to work for the "smarter" competition...?
Director, Clinical Operations at Tenax Therapeutics
6 年As I read through the replies it strikes me that we are looking at this wrong. There is a tendency to romanticize the cold, cruel, conformist world that breaks down creative types. Was Steve Jobs a non-conformist? Of course not! Which is why he created something so widely used. Non-conformists are the people who still use MySpace. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi has contributed immensely to “flow” (check out his Ted Talk). Flow isn’t hard. It’s not non-conformity. It’s not even a “chore”, as Elizabeth Gilbert describes. Flow is the space where passion and life collide. It’s an ease. The opposite of being in dis-ease. There’s nothing wrong with conformity. It’s safe and secure. It's home. Take comfort there. Just make sure you are conforming to YOUR values. The nexus of conformity to values IS creativity. And it ain't hard.?