Are You Truly Seeing What You’re Hearing?

"The human mind is inherently prone to error, prone to distortion, and capable of self-deception". - Aaron T. Beck

As leaders, we often hear our people – but are we really seeing and listening to them? And just as importantly, how do they perceive us?

With the 2024 U.S. election on the horizon, I’m reminded of the pivotal 1960 debate between Kennedy and Nixon – the first televised presidential debate. Kennedy, calm and prepared, understood the power of visuals and wore makeup to look sharp. Nixon, on the other hand, refused makeup, appeared unwell, and was sweating under the studio lights. The outcome? TV viewers overwhelmingly saw Kennedy as the winner, while radio listeners – who couldn’t see Nixon – thought he had won.

As we know, John F. Kennedy won the electoral college by 303 votes to 219, but only won the popular vote by 0.17 percent.

The lesson? Perception shapes reality. In business, whether during interviews, negotiations, or key decisions, it’s crucial to ensure your eyes and ears are in sync.

"You wish to see; listen. Hearing is a step towards vision". - Bernard of Clairvaux

The Chinese symbol for listening includes Ears, Eyes, Heart, King (Mind) all working together to ensure we're paying attention to what we're seeing, what we're hearing, and what is being omitted - deliberately or otherwise.

When it comes to making important business decisions regarding people – interviews, negotiations, promotions, contracts or sales – it pays (literally) to make sure our eyes and ears are in tune.

"Investigate what is, not what pleases". - Goethe

What do you see here?

In reality we are often easily deceived, whether by an elegant appearance or a silver tongue. As a species, it’s healthier for humans to trust and take things on face value than not. I value trust highly, but my services are called on when people aren’t sure, or have paid a heavy price for past misjudgements.

Here are five subtle red flags to watch out for when making high-stakes decisions in interviews:

1. Excessive hand gestures – These may be used to distract from the substance of what’s being said.
2. Unnecessary details – Especially when explaining vague reasons for leaving previous jobs.
3. Blaming others – A clear red flag for accountability issues.
4. Avoiding past failures – Indicates a possible lack of self-reflection or confidence.
5. Prolonged eye contact – Particularly when discussing sensitive topics like reasons for departure - always probe deeper here.

Don’t rely solely on appearances or eloquent words – they can deceive. I specialize in helping leaders make informed decisions by uncovering what’s often missed.

For a deeper look at your candidates or clients, DM me to arrange a conversation. Let’s ensure you see the full picture before making critical decisions.