Are You Truly Listening? The Leadership Skill That Builds Better Teams—Or Are You Just Waiting to Speak?

How Often Are You Truly Present in Conversations?

Pause for a moment and reflect: When you’re in a conversation—whether with a friend, family member, or colleague—are you truly listening, or are you in your head? Maybe you’re thinking:

? “What should I say next?”

? “Why did I even say that earlier?”

? “How do I make my point heard?”

Now imagine the person you’re talking to is doing the same. Both of you are distracted by your internal dialogue, preparing to speak rather than engaging fully.

If that’s the case, is this even a real conversation? Or is it just two people taking turns talking?

The Ripple Effect of Deep Listening

Listening is one of the most powerful acts of connection—and its absence is deeply felt.

In personal relationships, it can lead to misunderstandings and disconnection. In teams, it stifles collaboration, trust, and innovation.

But here’s the good news: As we practice deep listening in our personal lives, it starts to show up in other areas—at work, in leadership, and in our communities.

The Lesson My Mom Taught Me

My mom was always pretty savvy. As a good Dominican mom, she had a knack for knowing better—and making sure you knew it too.

She used to say, “Practice good manners at home; otherwise, it will show—and not in a good way.” She wanted to make sure we understood that good manners were pivotal. Being respectful to others wasn’t optional—it was essential. And for her, listening to understand wasn’t just a communication skill; it was a sign of respect.

If she caught you interrupting someone or not paying attention during a conversation, she’d remind you in no uncertain terms: “How you treat people reflects who you are.” Those words stayed with me.

Looking back, I realize she wasn’t just talking about table manners or polite words. She was teaching us about habits, accountability, and how the small things we practice daily—like truly listening—shape how we connect with the world.        

The same is true of listening. How we listen in our personal lives reflects how we listen in professional spaces. It’s the small, everyday moments—interrupting a loved one mid-sentence, zoning out during a conversation, or rushing to respond—that shape our habits. And those habits don’t stay hidden.

Why Does Deep Listening Matter?

Let’s explore the impact of deep listening:

In Your Personal Life:

? How often do you truly hear your loved ones?

? How does it feel when someone listens to you fully—without distractions or interruptions?

With Your Team:

? Do you notice how often ideas get interrupted in meetings?

? Are team members really hearing each other, or just waiting to speak?

When we practice deep listening, we create a ripple effect: stronger relationships, better collaboration, and a deeper sense of trust.

What Is Deep Listening?

Deep listening is more than hearing words—it’s about being fully present and creating space for others to express themselves completely.

It involves:

1. Presence: Focusing entirely on the speaker, free from distractions.

2. Understanding: Listening for emotions, tone, and nonverbal cues.

3. Patience: Resisting the urge to interrupt, even when something triggers a thought.

From Personal to Professional: A Bridge Example

Imagine you're at home talking with a family member and you decide to pause before you respond. You let them finish what they’re saying, maybe say it back in your own words to make sure you get it, then throw in an open-ended question to keep the chat going. Sounds simple, right? But it’s harder than it seems, especially with the people we care about—we often interrupt without thinking.

Now, take that same approach to a team meeting. When a coworker shares a concern about a project, instead of jumping in with a fix, you take a moment to reflect on what they said and ask for more details.

This little change can really switch up the conversation from just reacting to actually working together. It builds trust and helps everyone find better solutions. Plus, the more you practice listening deeply in your personal life, the more natural it becomes in your work interactions.

How to Bring Deep Listening to Your Life and Work

1. Start at Home

Just like my mom taught me to practice at home, start your listening practice in personal conversations. When your loved ones speak, put down your phone, pause your thoughts, and truly focus.

Ask yourself afterward: How did listening fully change the conversation?

2. Bring It to Your Team

In the workplace, deep listening transforms communication. Try these steps:

? Eliminate Distractions: Encourage team members to focus fully during meetings.

? Pause Before Responding: Wait three seconds after someone finishes speaking to process what was said.

? Reflect for Clarity: Paraphrase what you heard:

“What I hear you saying is that resources are tight, and that’s delaying the project. Is that right?”

3. Encourage Open-Ended Questions

Deep listening thrives on curiosity. Instead of making assumptions, ask:

? “Can you please tell me more about that?”

? “Can you explain that in more detail?”

A Quick Story: The Power of Listening in Action

Imagine this scenario:

A manager asks their team why a project is behind schedule.

? Typical Response:

The team member says, “We didn’t have the resources,” and the conversation ends with frustration on both sides.

? Deep Listening Approach:

The manager responds, “I hear that resources have been a challenge. Can you walk me through what’s missing and how we can address it together?”

What happens? The team member feels heard, the root issue is uncovered, and a solution is found.

Challenge Yourself

In your next conversation, ask:

1. Am I truly present right now, or am I distracted by my own thoughts?

2. What can I learn if I focus fully on the other person’s words, tone, and body language?

Afterward, reflect: How did listening change the conversation or strengthen the relationship?

Listening Is Leadership

Deep listening isn’t just a personal practice—it’s a leadership skill. Whether at home or at work, the way we listen shapes the relationships we build and the results we achieve.

So the next time you’re in a conversation, remember my mom’s advice: Lo que haces en tu casa, se refleja afuera. Start with yourself, extend it to your team, and watch how the ripple effect transforms your life and work.

Stay Tuned for My 2025 Workshop: “Effective Teams Begin with an Effective Mindset”

Exciting things are coming in 2025! I’m launching a Business Coaching Workshop designed to help leaders and professionals develop the mindset and skills needed for building highly effective teams.        

Stay tuned for more details—I can’t wait to share what’s in store. Let’s start transforming how we listen, lead, and connect!

About the Author

Yudy Veras Bueno is a Life Transformational Coach, Speaker, and Best-Selling Author. As Co-Founder and President of Inspirame Latina, Yudy is dedicated to helping individuals and teams embrace their full potential through self-awareness, leadership development, and meaningful connection. Follow her for more insights on personal growth and team building.