Are you triggered?

I can’t quite believe we are sliding into September, and I’ve been in reflective mode following two experiences in the coaching room last week that remind me of why I do what I do...?

Emotional Triggers?

You see, so many people walk into the coaching and training room struggling with their emotions. They are triggered by different people and sets of circumstances, and it drains their energy, confidence and causes on-going conflicts with team-mates, bosses, friends and loved ones. ?

The drama cycle that ensues can take us so far away from our best selves. It can have a hold on us that makes us shy away from speaking up or can make us react disproportionately to a situation. After all, how many of us have got carried away by our thoughts or emotions and afterwards have cringed or beaten ourselves up?! I know, I’ve been there. We can make up all sorts of meaning in our head that can hold us back from being our best selves or achieving the goals we want.?

Have you ever wondered why this is??

This is really at the heart of our style of Leadership and Executive Coaching. We are looking for the things that are caught up in the body and mind that hold us back from reaching our potential be that taking on a promotion, a bigger team, setting up or growing your business...As Hunter Post said;?

“The biggest thing holding you back is almost always… you. Start there.” ?

I really want to acknowledge these particular clients and all those that have had the courage to step into the coaching room and allow us to shine a light on these things and release those blockages. ?

So, if you have been feeling ‘triggered’ lately or know that you are disproportionately reacting to something then I thought I’d share some of the key concepts and ideas that just might help.?

The Power Of Our Subconscious?

According to research 94% of our bodily functioning is happening in our sub-conscious. Our heart just beats, our lungs just breath and our mind creates mental short-cuts so we don’t have to think about things…it’s how we can walk in the door and suddenly wake up from ‘auto-pilot’ and not remember the drive home!?

Many of these mental shortcuts are formed at an early-age and our running our lives now. It’s how we can intellectually create a vision of what we want in our conscious mind but then we self-sabotage and don’t get there as these sub-conscious forces are at play.? In my experience, deepening our self-awareness around these invisible forces that could be at play is a critical component to not only being a successful leader, but also, leading a rich and happy life! ?

3 questions to help you reflect?

Replay the situation you find yourself in and ask yourself;?

1. What is it that has triggered this pattern of behaviour? Is it something that was said / unsaid??
2. Where has this pattern shown up before??
3. What is the insight coming from this pattern of behaviour / way of thinking that is holding me back??

Understanding our complex mind?

In case you hadn’t picked this up I’m on a mission to more deeply understand these sub-conscious forces that can be at play and hold us back. A number of years ago I discovered Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. His approach is centred on the idea that the mind is naturally divided into different "parts". Again, these parts may be from much younger facets of ourselves. By identifying and working with these parts, particularly those that carry limiting beliefs and fears, IFS empowers people to understand how these beliefs were formed as protective mechanisms, and ultimately release them. Getting to hold this space and guide clients into new levels of self-awareness and insight is an absolute privilege.

What does this mean for you reading this well in its simplest form, the next time you find yourself in a self-sabotage loop, ready to blow your top at someone, or exhausted by a situation you find yourself in, take a pause point. Quieten down the noise and ask yourself “which part of me is showing up today”. And if nothing comes, just know it’s often a much younger part of us that has grabbed the stirring wheel and bring some self-compassion into play.

I do hope this note has been thought provoking and helpful for you today feel free to drop me an email back with what resonated or any further questions you may have...?