Are You a Trained Liar?

Let’s face it, we are all trained liars. Whether in the name of political correctness, being nice, not offending, being bullied, fear of reprisal, seeking advantage, desiring accolades, fear of punishment, hiding guilt, etc., we all lie. Whether it be a white lie, a good lie, protective lie, etc., it is still a lie. I know… the thought of the truth of this matter makes you cringe because none of us want to be labeled a liar.

Why is it comedians get to lie for humor sake, politicians are expected to lie, lawyers are paid very well when they can get everyone to believe their lies and the only people who actually get punished for lies are kids?

Have you ever tried to be totally truthful for one solid day? If you ever really tried to do so, how many friends do you think you’d lose? Would you keep your job? Would your family still talk to you?

For those of you who have lied to yourself thinking you don’t lie, deception is just an educated form of lying. Avoiding the truth is merely the quiet lie. Saying nothing is the cowardice lie. Therefore, we all lie.

To prove this: When we hear someone blatantly tell the bold truth are we shocked, emotionally charged or compelled to laugh over the fact someone actually said out loud what everyone was thinking? Am I right? You see, it is very important for you to admit to yourself you lie before we can move on to what this article is truly about.

Can you accept that in one form or another you lie? If your wife asked you, “Does this dress make me look fat?” Would you say yes? If your child asked you if they were your favorite, would you say yes… if they weren’t? If your company made a mistake that could cost them millions and potentially have to fire hundreds of employees if the truth got out and they provided you a lie to tell (you may think you are only relaying their lie but once you tell it you own it) will you tell the truth? If a call comes in for someone at your work and they say “tell them I’m in a meeting” will you tell the truth?

So why has lying become such a prevalent stigma in our society and culture? I mean… think about it: Political correctness does nothing more than give reasons for everyone to be offended and forces us to lie because nobody wants to be told they should better themselves.

While traveling around Europe, due to an emergency operation I was forced to stay in Italy for an extended period of time. During that tenure, I noticed how rare it was to see an overweight (can’t say fat) Italian. However, the woman who helped care for me during my recovery was overweight. She once took me to a dinner party at a friend’s house. While there, the host asked her why she was fat and why she didn’t lose weight. I was astounded and couldn’t believe my ears. I came to her defense but after the party I asked her why her friend would say such a thing. She then told me it was their culture and why you don’t see fat people in Italy. The Italians were not so afraid to tell the truth and the results were, their friends held them to a higher expectation of excellence, with regard to physical appearance, and they lived up to that expectation rather than live with the shame and ridicule of the alternative.

We have changed the grading structure of our children making below average to failure acceptable to the point it is becoming the norm. We now give trophies for participation instead of winning. So judge for yourself; is our society improving or dwindling into decadence?  Our unions, with all their positive overtones, have twisted the arms of corporate management to pay more and more for less and less that our manufacturing is now mostly going overseas.  We are no longer held to a higher standard and are therefore reaping the crops we have sown.  What have the lies done for us? We have become so engrossed with not hurting anyone’s feelings that we have made lying the new status quo and the certain demise of what makes a nation great.

Personally, I enjoy the shock factor that accompanies the blatant truth. If everyone were doing it, the truth would be mundane and boring but since it is rare, the truth gets attention. It is the same with standing up for what is right. Our society has so ingrained within us the sense to lie at every occasion, with the threat of losing friends, position, possession and personal aggrandizement, that we have willingly traded honor, dignity, loyalty, ethics and morality all to live a lie. Have you ever wondered what ever happened to those words? Why is their use not prevalent in today’s society? Why is there no shame in losing those appellations? Why is it okay to get ahead by lies (so longs as you don’t get caught) but the truth may stunt your ambitional growth (yes that may be a new word).

Well, I’m going to share a marketing point that may cause your head to swim in obscurity. We know that being unique is a major credo in marketing. If you are not unique you will not get noticed. Therefore, don’t tell people you are not lying or you are being honest but just do it. People have a sense they follow that dwells within. They seem to “know” when something is afoot, wrong or the truth. Because they expect companies to lie to get business, they will be shocked when they see the truth coming out of you. Think of it this way; remember the movie “Pleasantville” where they lived in gray scale until someone did something against the rules then color was suddenly introduced? Those who became colorful were looked down upon and dejected until color became widely accepted and the new norm. According to the movie, life was better when they all became colorful. Well, our society seems to have adopted the same moral with lying and they believe life is better now that we all lie to get ahead or accept mediocrity. Color got attention when it was first introduced. Now that everything is color, how do you get attention? Be the only one in your industry or join the few who are moving back to gray scale. If you look at the yellow pages, you will see mostly ads in color so now the one that sticks out is the black and white. Be unique; be strait up; be honest in your advertising; tell it like it is; accept that you may not be perfect but let them know you will make it right. You will shock them but you will also encourage them to trust you and desire to be associated with you.

About the Author

Scott L. Taylor is the author of The Opportunity In Every Problem” Mentor for unemployed and ex-offenders who are trying to get back into business society, and Director of Sales & Marketing for Cloudia Assistant. He is passionate about leadership, ethics, entrepreneurship, sports, positive reinforcement, motivational thinking, and loves helping individuals and organizations realize their potential and take the steps necessary to achieve it.

For more information, check out his LinkedIn profile, follow him or view the Cloudia Assistant website, www.cloudiaassistant.com.