Are you too nice when you are dating?
I remember the moment I met my husband (almost twenty years ago). I was moving and he offered to help. He threw my couch over his shoulders and packed it up my stairs like it was nothing. Such a brut.....I liked him right away....LOL I was just not looking for a relationship, though. I had just gotten myself out of something I shouldn't have been in. I was running after someone that was unattainable. I had been hurt, and I just wasn't having it!! I knew what I didn't want. He wasn't look for a relationship that day either. He was actually there to see someone else.
He kept coming over....and I let him. We talked and laughed for hours. I still wasn't trying to be in a relationship. I let him know that constantly. He consistently pursued me. I kept saying yes to his company, but NO to a committed relationship. The more I said no, the more he tried to get me to say yes. Do you see was was actually happening?
When I wanted to find a relationship, I got into messes I would never normally accept. I wasn't finding love. I pursued men who would never commit to me. When I was being pleasing to men and trying to be what I think they wanted, and I got hurt. I had finally figured out the secret to what makes men want you. Once I took control of what I wanted, love found me.....,found US!
When we were dating, I wasn't trying to be on my best behavior. I didn't try at all. I talked trash to him all day. He would talk it back. This is how it went every day. That's how it is still after 17+ years. It is the ultimate foreplay! We wouldn't have it any other way. We have moments of fun, laughter, romance, triumphs, fights, make-ups, and adventure. The true love is the commitment you take together. I wouldn't change the journey that got us here.
My Queens, I know that you are looking for a deep love connection and can't figure out what you are doing wrong. When you go out on a date, are you trying to impress him? Do you try to adjust to him? That is a big part of what turns a man off. As crazy as it sounds, they want friction. They want a challenge. They want that smart ass. They like the chase of the sassy, fiery woman. Pleasing only last so long. They want to chase you. It's in their DNA to chase. Nice is too easy.
Being that unattainable goal makes a man go out of his way to get it. It may seem like a game, but it's true. I'm not saying you should stop looking. Just change your approach on how you are doing it. Are you holding back because he might not like that you are opinionated? What parts of yourself are you hiding to get him to like you? Authenticity is the way to love....period. Loving yourself enough to know that YOU, as you are is enough and that you are worthy of being loved.
Here's the thing..... if you are pretending in the beginning, you will have to keep up the charade from here on out. What if you get married with this persona that you have shown him? Wouldn't your marriage be fake? Would you truly be happy pretending to be something you aren't? If he doesn't like the smart-ass opinionated, sassy YOU, he is not the one for you anyway!! Your soulmate will love all those qualities about you.
I am so passionate about sharing all my secrets with you on this dating adventure. I would love to support you on your journey, Queens. You deserve to be blissfully happy and have the love of your life. You have to tools and passion to be a loving wife. You just need a few things to help get you down the aisle! I'm happy to help! Join my support group to stay inspired and get juicy tips.
Your dating experience should be EPIC. The journey to love can be fun instead of feeling like a chore and ending up with a broken heart. Working with me, you can fine tune your dating methods and have an extraordinary adventure on every date. Below are some of my programs and my mailing list for juicy tips and secrets. Let's get started on your journey. Smoochies, Darlings.