Are You Too Nice? Then You *Need* This.

Have you overworked and bent over backward for someone, only to be devalued and discarded?

Scenario 1

Your boss requests an urgent meeting on Thanksgiving. You put your family aside and take the call.

In the past, they have asked you to complete impossible tasks last-minute, fast and accurately,

Not taking a lunch break has been normal since working at this company for 13 years.

Not only are you a star at being a key player in the company's success, but you also manage and train new employees (outside of job description, and you're not compensated for it).

When your dream position opened up, the new guy got it, with a big salary increase. You've been here for 13 years, and have gotten minuscule raises.

They said, "You're so good at your job we can't lose you in this position."

You feel betrayed.

Scenario 2

He works such a busy job that he will do his best to find time to see you every other week, and you move time with family and girlfriends to make the dates happen.

You travel to meet him where it's convenient for him, bring him his favorite takeout, and spend many hours helping him with his depression, career dissatisfaction, and listening to the same story of how his dad is an asshole. You help him pay off his debt. He feels less than and hard done by, so you stop talking to him about your big dreams so his fragile ego doesn't get triggered.

3 years later, he decides he is a non-committal and non-traditional type, so he moves on to seek a woman who enjoys his non-committal ways, a cool, low-maintenance type who will be cool with all his contrarian, eccentric, and intellectual ways that are way too ahead of time for this society (and you, who wants commitment).

3 years went by and you realize you don't even know what big dreams you used to even have anymore.

You feel cheated and betrayed.

Scenario 3

She calls again, needing help. 2 hours later, it's midnight, and you're exhausted. This same pattern has been since college.

She's a friend, and that's what friends do for each other, right?

You have a divorce. You're shattered. She goes MIA.

One day, you locate her, and she gives you a "#truthbomb": "You've become so depressive I really can't be around you anymore. I have to protect my energy."

She parties and travels with a bunch of your friends who you initially introduced to her.

You feel so stupid, angry, and betrayed.

Are they the problem?

Or is there something you're doing?

You've become their Wikipedia. Always available. Freely giving. An essential part of their daily needs.

So automatic and always there that they forget to genuinely mean "thank you."

When you give a lot, you thought you'd be rewarded with respect and reciprocity.

But instead... ????

"What percent of people donate to Wikipedia?

Less than 1 percent?of Wikipedia's 450 million monthly visitors donate money to the online encyclopedia, according to a message that's currently showing up for some users."

[Source, VentureBeat.com]

?? #facts #truthbomb - When it's free and convenient, people rarely stop and think: "This is so valuable I should pay them my respect, return and reciprocate the value they give me."

Don't become a "Wikipedia" for family, friends, colleagues, and intimate and business partners.

Stop being nice.

Command your value.

Julia Cha is a Holistic Success Coach for change-makers and change leaders of the world. Love this? Subscribe, and check out her latest book, Bad B!tch On Top.

Also, check out her best-selling book, Am I There Yet?, and the Rich & Loved? book series.

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