Are You Too Chicken?

In the 1985 movie Back to the Future, Marty Mc Fly, played by Michael J Fox, gets himself into a whole heap of trouble when he succumbs to the taunts of Biff Tannen, played by Benji Gregory, “Are you chicken?” I wonder how many acts of folly result from this single taunt?

We recognise the mark of a bully or a bad influence, and we often hear people telling kids to just ignore the bully and they will go away. But do they really??

Movie addicts, sports fans and readers alike cheer when the underdog wins, but most of us don’t realise that we are our own bullies. Our dreams are the underdogs and we have to stand up to those intruders in our minds and silence the voices that do not serve us.

What we say to ourselves does not always come at us with an assault rifle or a battering ram. No, often it comes like a masked intruder, calling to us from the dark, telling us that we will never get away. We can’t get away from our work, our children, our commitments. Telling us we won’t be good enough or we can’t afford another project.?

My personal favourite is the intruder who comes with the mask of procrastination and who is silently slipping the jewels of our dreams into his pocket. When you awake, there is nothing left of the dreams planted in your heart when you were imagining what your best life would be like.

My clients often ask; How do you write a book? How do I create a reader magnet to get more readers? How do I publish my book? Some aspiring authors have been sitting on a manuscript for five years. Then there are published authors who have books that are just not selling. Other writers procrastinate about building an author website, never giving their dreams wings. Why? Because at some level, we are all too chicken. The question is, is our fear going to stop us or liberate us?

In December 2018, I wrote what I thought was a novel. In a flash of determination to write, which took me ten years to find, the first words came pouring out of me. After some research on how big a book an epic fantasy novel should be, I realised my story still had a long way to go. I was prompted by a friend to write and believed I could do just that one book. But at that first realisation, that it was not as easy as it seemed, that is when fear came knocking on my door. Fear reminded me I had no place being an author, and I had a business to run and children who needed me. Yes, I was too chicken to keep going.

The company that my husband had worked with had collapsed, making my primary source of income even more crucial. That is when the sneaky little intruder then found a new mask to wear. The one of chasing money. The one that tells you there is rent to pay, credit card debts to cover and children to put through school. That you are being self indulgent to pursue a writing career.

I sat in our garage that we had converted into an office and put my head in my hands. It was over. I just could not do this. Then I picked up the book “Little Voice Mastery, by Blair Singer. In it, he told the reader that inside everyone is a dream. A dream placed in our hearts by our Creator and when we don’t follow through, we remove that chance to manifest that purpose. It hit me… what if my dreams have a greater purpose than me??

I started writing again, but I was not yet strong enough to completely silence that inner voice. Then, in 2019, my mother called to tell me that my father had been hospitalised because of a kidney complication. It devastated me. There was a real risk he was going to die. I thought to myself, “I had made countless mistakes in my life and I realised I did not want my father to die without being proud of me.”?

I was enrolled in the CCBSA Entrepreneurial programme at the time. The project was headed up by the Uncovering Greatness Team. There was a training session that day. In the feedback session, I openly cried in front of over 150 people, telling them of my fear, because public humiliation was not as terrifying as losing my father when I was so close to bringing my dream to reality.?

I pushed harder than I ever have and with the support of my editor; I loaded the book onto Amazon, got the first four Arcs printed, and reached my dream by publishing and getting a copy to my parents. My father pulled through, but many people never get that warning when the final chapter of their loved ones is going to end.?

Now I write because I want my children to believe that they have the power to live their dreams. I know of one authentic way to make that lesson stick and that is to model it. I remind my children every day why I am doing this and I am seeing those lessons produce a harvest in their young minds.

The question I have to ask is what dreams are you stifling because you are letting that inner voice bully you out of a purpose driven life?

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Copyright: Kim Vermaak

Kim Vermaak is a medieval fantasy novelist living in Johannesburg, South Africa. Kim is also a co-owner of an indie author book store and a marketing coach for authors. She fulfilled her dream of being an author by standing on the shoulders of others who have travelled the road before her.?

When Kim is not writing, or home schooling or teaching other authors, you will find her walking, watching movies, playing with the cat or picnicking in the park with her family. Catch her on her YouTube channel, Write Learn and Earn, where she shares weekly lessons with aspiring authors.