Are you tired of carrying your past baggage?
Jyothika Shetty ??
Public Speaking Coach | Helping Entrepreneurs & Corporate Professionals Communicate Effectively | Think & Speak Like a CEO | Distinguished Toastmaster | Published Author
In our journey through life, we often find ourselves carrying the weight of past baggage. But why is it that people hold onto emotional burdens from their history?
There are various reasons behind this phenomenon. Unresolved trauma can leave deep scars, impacting our present thoughts and emotions. Guilt and regret over past mistakes can haunt us, hindering personal growth. The fear of repeating past errors can hold us back from taking risks and embracing new opportunities. Some individuals become attached to the past, finding comfort in familiar memories, while others struggle with a negative self-image shaped by past experiences. Additionally, the lack of closure can keep us emotionally tied to unresolved issues.
I lost my Dad when I was barely 21 and it was a life changing event for me. It affected me so much that over the next few years I lost interest even in the simplest task like dressing up. The following year I got married and thereafter, had my first child. Although it was new life and healthy diversion, it did not help me deal with my trauma? It only brushed the trauma under the carpet while not addressing the real problem. ?
Understanding why we carry past baggage is the first step towards letting go and finding healing. By acknowledging our emotional burdens, seeking support, and practicing self-reflection, we can gradually release the weight of the past and open ourselves up to a brighter future.
But, I did none of this but carried the burden for the next 22 years.
When you continue to carry past baggage, you subject yourself to a range of negative consequences that can hinder personal growth and well-being. Carrying unresolved issues and emotional burdens from the past weighs you down and prevents you from fully embracing the present moment. It becomes challenging to develop healthy relationships and make genuine connections with others when you are burdened by old grievances. Your ability to trust and let go becomes compromised, leading to a cycle of anxiety, resentment, and unhappiness. Continuously carrying past baggage also hampers your ability to learn from past experiences and move forward with resilience. It is essential to address and process your past in order to heal, grow, and create a brighter future for yourself.
While I can surely validate some of these, I must tell you that the real outburst happened when an unexpected event took place in my life. I was around 44 years old when my husband and I faced some stressful business situations. It posed certain unexpected developments in our life that we both had to face with guts and valor. I looked for escapism and did not want to deal with the problems but find solace in situations that were tension free. This made matters worse because I chose to ignore the reality. This is the time when the corpse in the closet began to diffuse. This not only affected me but the people around me - my husband, my children and my precious life.
While there is no instant formula for releasing your past baggage, by consciously addressing we can liberate ourselves and create space for a more fulfilling and present life.
I had extensive discussions with my husband who also sought therapy for me without my knowledge. Although it did help me to speak out to my therapist, I chose my own way to deal with it. I wrote my first book about my experience and how being Emotionally Intelligent helped me in the process. I firmly believe that converting your story to a powerful one and sharing it with the world will help you overcome a lot of your past baggage. The more you talk about it the severity of the issue reduces and you will be able to free yourself from the burden. What remains with you are memories but without any emotions attached to it. The empowering story of how you overcame your past baggage thus becomes a guide to others facing similar situation as yours.
To summarize, the following are some important points that will help you overcome your past baggage:
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1.?Acknowledge and accept your emotions: The first step towards releasing past baggage is acknowledging and accepting the emotions associated with it. Allow yourself to feel anger, sadness, or disappointment, as suppressing these emotions only prolongs the healing process. Create a safe space for self-reflection, journaling, or confiding in a trusted friend or therapist. By giving yourself permission to experience these emotions, you can begin to let go.
2.?Practice self-compassion: It's crucial to be compassionate towards yourself throughout this process. Understand that carrying past baggage does not make you weak or flawed; it simply means you have endured experiences that have impacted you deeply. Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. Remember that you deserve healing and happiness just as much as anyone else.
3.?Identify and challenge limiting beliefs: Past baggage often comes with a set of limiting beliefs that can hold us back from moving forward. Identify the negative beliefs you hold about yourself or the world due to past experiences. Challenge them by examining their validity and finding evidence to the contrary. Replace these limiting beliefs with empowering ones that support your growth and well-being.
4.?Practice forgiveness: Forgiving yourself and others involved in your past experiences is a powerful tool for releasing baggage. Holding onto grudges and resentment only perpetuates the pain. Understand that forgiveness does not mean ignoring what happened; it means freeing yourself from the emotional burden associated with it. Write a letter to yourself or the person involved, expressing your forgiveness and releasing the negative emotions tied to the event.
5.?Engage in healing activities: Engaging in activities that promote healing and self-discovery can aid in releasing past baggage. Meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises help cultivate mindfulness and reduce stress. Engaging in hobbies, creative outlets, or physical activities can provide a sense of joy and fulfillment. Seek professional support through therapy or counseling if needed, as trained professionals can provide guidance and support throughout the healing process.
6.?Cultivate gratitude and focus on the present: Practicing gratitude for the lessons learned from past experiences and focusing on the present moment are essential for releasing baggage. Gratitude shifts our perspective and allows us to see the positive aspects of our lives. Mindfulness practices help us become aware of the present moment, detaching from the weight of the past. Embrace the opportunities that the present offers and create a vision for the future that aligns with your newfound sense of freedom.
Releasing past baggage is a deeply personal and transformative journey. It requires self-reflection, emotional vulnerability, and a commitment to healing. By acknowledging and accepting our emotions, practicing self-compassion, challenging limiting beliefs, forgiving ourselves and others, engaging in healing activities, and cultivating gratitude and presence, we can gradually release the weight of the past and embrace a more liberated and fulfilling life.
If you are currently trying hard to release your past baggage, I am sure the above simple tips will help you in your journey because it helped me!
Wish you good, until then take care and see you in my next newsletter edition of Peak Potential.
If you wish to get in touch with me to see how I can help you reach your Peak Potential, email me at [email protected].
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Author of The Leadership Letter weekly column; Consulting Expert with OnFrontiers; advisor and mentor on leadership and public service; retired U.S. Army and U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Officer.
1 年Great information and guidance, Jyothika. When reporting to Army basic training, the drill sergeants yell at the new recruits and tell them to drop their baggage. It's a more severe initiation into a process of remaking the civilian into a soldier, but they have a point that is equally psychological as well as physical. We too need to drop that baggage, and learn to move on to the next phase. Like basic, it won't be easy, but you can get there.