Are you tip toeing around your team members?
Dr Fern White
Principal Dentist @ Beacon Cove Dental, Melbourne Keynote Speaker, Coach and Mentor for Dental Women ????
Do you ever find yourself tiptoeing around a certain team member?
Maybe they have a bit of attitude or tend to override you a lot.
Maybe they consistently come in late to work.
Or maybe they use their mobile too much.
Or constantly call in sick.
And you see all this, but you can’t seem to find the right words or way to have that uncomfortable conversation because you are afraid to offend.
Afraid to come off as being mean.
Not being liked.
Afraid they may actually quit if you try to tell them.
And you won’t find anyone else. And if you can’t find anyone else to replace them, what will happen to your business? Your money?
And so, you don’t. You keep it inside.
Even though you are not hyper-vigilant and scanning for them to do more of this behaviour that you can’t seem to call out.
Other team members notice this - and it starts to breed resentment in the culture.
Bitching and moaning start to happen.
Behind backs - which is the worst kind.
In fact, the resentment is already breeding in you - you even talk about it to other team members.
But it seems you have let the behaviour run too long to be able to point it out without causing a big conflict.
You’re creating a story in your head about this team member - how they don’t care. How they might be taking the piss, doing it on purpose because they know they are getting away with it.
And you start to feel it stress you even more. You start to not like this team member.
Finally, when you do bring it up, you either sugar coat it so much that they have no idea what you are talking about.
Or you erupt with passive aggression, and it turns out all wrong and they get defensive, insulted, and will even quit on you.
All because you didn’t nip it in the bud properly from the start.
Remember everything you ignore you condone.
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It starts with you.
Every team member you hire - have a clear job description, onboarding, and accountability system. Make sure they know the values of your practice and how it is relevant to them and their growth.
And when there is behaviour that is outside the fit of the culture, have the courage to have that uncomfortable conversation.
Choose your time and space properly - Never in front of other team members (this is not about shaming).
Get yourself clear. Open your heart. And be direct.
Seek first to understand.
Hold them to higher standards you know they can and have reached before.
Get clear on where they are right now and where they should be - support them to bridge that gap.
Then, check in - not to spy on them, but to support them.
The tone, pace, and words matter.
It’s your job as a leader to do this - with an open heart, but with honesty. It’s not a personal attack, it’s for the culture, team, and business to thrive.
Give us your thoughts, and comment below!
Love,
Dr. Fern
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