Are You Telling the Truth?

Here’s a statement we hear a lot in the media “they misrepresented themselves”. Think Bernie Madoff. Or the countless other stories of fraud or deception. People who portrayed themselves as someone they were not. Basically, they lied. Usually such a lie involves them presenting themselves as more – richer, smarter, wiser.  But what about the flip side – when we present ourselves as less? What is the impact of that?

One valued leadership and human characteristic is humility. I think of people like Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela. They set aside what we see as conventional gains and riches to serve a greater calling. I feel they represented humility in its purest sense.

Now, I do think humility is misunderstood. Perhaps not intentionally. I believe it stems from how it’s defined. I find that there are two sides to the definition – one that’s uplifting and one that’s stifling. Let’s start with the origin of the word. It comes from the Latin word “humilis”, which can mean “grounded” and “low”. So here the 2 sides show up – when we think of someone as grounded, we would most likely think of them as solid, firm, not easily shaken; on the other hand, when we think of someone as “low”, we would likely think of them as less than or lacking something. Now, if we look at the definition of humility itself, we will find various descriptors like “ego-less”, “not conceited”, as well as ones like “timid”, “reserved”, and even “self-deprecating”. Again, two sides. Maybe it’s that language has changed and how we understand and relate to certain words has evolved. Which is a good thing. Because, I’m not sure what benefit there is in us walking around thinking poorly of ourselves.

I value humility. It is a powerful character trait – especially in leaders. But for its power to show through, we must understand it correctly. Otherwise, like any virtue at it’s extreme, it no longer serves.

I define humility as seeing myself exactly as I am – not more than, not less than. And that I am an important part of the bigger picture. So, the world doesn’t revolve around me AND I have significance. If we go back to Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Nelson Mandela, I feel this definition captures them well. Who knows, maybe they did have days when they were timid and self-deprecating, but overall, history has shown them to be leaders of courageous humility, who were not distracted by others or themselves.

Humility in leaders is gold. These individuals are more self-aware of both their strengths and weaknesses, and they are willing to ask for help and delegate as needed. They recognize and appreciate others’ contributions. And don’t feel the need to keep talking about themselves. Humble leaders are not bullies. They create a safe space for their teams, colleagues, and their own leaders.

But humility on its own won’t work. As we already saw, in excess, humility leads to low self-worth – a misrepresentation. And that is of no use to the leader, their team, or the mission they’re on. On the other hand, a humble leader with courage, drive, and the willingness to reach beyond limits can move mountains, not because they’re doing it by themselves, but because they’re doing it with and through the people, they develop around them.

So how do we stop misrepresenting ourselves? Through humility, in its truest sense. Humility powered by courage, drive, and a desire for limitless possibility. My encouragement to you is to tell the truth about yourself. Be all of who you are. You are more than enough. In the words of Mother Teresa, “If you are humble, nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.”