"You talking to me?"

Did you know that you can hear yet not be able to listen? Yes, that’s very common, in fact it might be the most common barrier of communication between people. I must admit that years ago I was one of them too. By saying them I mean those people that do not listen! My mom used to say that to Dad all the time but aren’t usually most women who do that? Hahaha or whoever especially in long term relationships.

?We are different people even the people who grew up in the same family are still different. Why is that you think? Because despite the fact that we are siblings for example my brain will be stimulated by different things and my reaction will be different based on what my interests are, my triggers, my perception. We do not all develop in the same way after all our DNA is unique.

?When I was doing my coaching professional qualification in 2014, It was the first thing we were taught. How to be great listeners, that combining it with my endless curiosity to learn behavioral psychology, it made a great combo as a coach for my clients. If you do not understand what has been asked of you to do, how will you be able to do it correctly? And I will go a step further, it is not just to understand the task but for me it is also important to understand why it is important and why you were chosen for this task.

Wouldn’t you feel great if your manager was able to acknowledge the fact that you have an ability that is in great use for this task?

Wouldn’t you feel respected and appreciated more if you have been explained the importance of this task?

?This is the fundamental for a bonded team and actually that’s why we need teams. We combine people’s strengths and weakness, so we create a powerful combination of great talents, but if no one of the management ever acknowledge those talents then it is if as they do not exist.

?Active listening is not applied only at workplace and not just for the management. As I am saying very often to my kids, “We cannot control other’s people behaviour bur we can control ours”. We must try to be the best version of ourself without expecting anything in return, i can guarantee you though that the reward of being a good and kind person is biggest that any other kind of reward at least it is for me.

?You see a person in your team, in a coffee shop anywhere how can you know what is going in their life, what have they been through? It is impossible unless you have a honest chat with the individual after that you have established trust. I am not saying that you will turn to therapists or coaches after all thats why we exist, as Life Coaches do that on your behalf for your employees but learning how to be open and actively listen to people is a skill that you can obtain at any time.

?Listen to their words, watch their eyes be present when talking to someone. When I am coaching or doing classes I remember things that each of the learners told me in the beginning of the class. They are always happy because they feel that I paid attention to them. The trick though is that they can sense that I am genuine.

?Always, remember that every situation is different to each person’s eyes and perception hence why its important to learn how to effectively communicate.

?Listen and ask open questions to your wife, husband, partner, colleagues to your own self. Because if you don’t know who you are then how do you expect yourself to know and understand anyone else? If one relationship is one sided then you must take action, you should not stay where you are not respected but after you have tried anything possible.

?Thank you and if you are interested in coaching for your employees, we have special packages plus we offer free meditation/yoga and stress release class as complimentary.

Nadia