Are you a Taker, Giver, or an Investor?

Over the years, I've observed three types of relationship builders or networkers – which I believe fall into three brackets…Givers, Takers, and Investors. So, which one are you? If I asked your colleagues, customers, suppliers, employer, and industry contacts, what would they say you are?

Many of you would know people who reach out to you only when they want something. These are Takers they have the me only approach to networking. What they form can't be called relationships because their network and contacts are made solely for their benefit - and only their benefit.

They call you for an urgent task and expect you to drop everything else you are doing to serve their needs. They see you, exchange less than a genuine hello, and let's catch up, often meaning let me suck out of you all the information I need.

You must deal with these people, but at a distance. Be polite, but guard your valuable assets, knowledge, talent, insights, and most importantly, your relationships.

Then there are the Givers which is a likewise challenge. Don't get me wrong, there is a certain nobility in being the Mother Teresa of relationship giving. All this crowd does is give. Constantly doing for others drives them, but they become sheepish when they need help.

They go out of their way to help people with important projects, often neglecting their own needs or deadlines. They are often perceived to be nice, kind, and giving. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these attributes but unfortunately, they become an open door for many to take advantage of.

When engaging a Giver, you must ensure that you don't become a Taker! Always be gracious, thank them for their generosity, and consistently offer to add value to their efforts, for example, constantly ask - what can I do to help you? They might never accept your offer, but it's incumbent upon you to keep the balance in a Giver relationship.

And finally, there is the Relationship Investor. This type of person understands that you must start by giving. Then you must invest to get a return.

Long before they need to capitalise or monetise relationships, an investor has accumulated a great deal of social capital through developing a solid relationship bank. This person’s name alone creates a sense of obligation to deliver value.

These are people you would bend over backwards to help, not only because they have gone out of their way to help you in the past, but also because, whenever you need help - they are there.

No one has the resources to invest equally in every relationship, so it’s essential to prioritise and decide which relationships truly matter and where you’ll commit your energy. While it’s important to engage everyone with respect, make sure others recognise that authentic relationships are a two-way street and true connections demand mutual investment, and ultimately, the value added must become evident on both sides.

So which one are you? The Taker, the Giver, or the Investor?

Kieran Moran.

Connecting Industry Managing Director.